Stomach churning, I took a step away from Gamble. “So what did I do to Caroline, then?”
He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe I even had to ask. “The fact that you had to hide what you had with her and didn’t even have the balls to let me know about it tells me everything I need to know. She’s just not that important to you.”
“That’s complete bullshit. She—”
“She wouldn’t have become your dirty little secret if you’d been open about it from the very beginning. That’s all she was to him too. That first prick who knocked her up. She was just his trailer-park-trash dirty little secret. And you’re making her go through that all over again. If she’d meant anything to you, you wouldn’t have gone behind my back, you wouldn’t have hidden your so-called feelings. You would’ve fought to be with her openly instead of sneaking around like a fucking coward.”
“Jesus, man.” I shook my head. “If this is the way you’ve always thought of me, then why were you ever my friend?”
“Because I’m not a woman. It never bothered me what you did to complete strangers, but I sure as hell wouldn’t want you to become involved with a girl who’s important to me.”
I shook my head slowly. It was enlightening to learn what some of the closest people in my life really thought of me. And not in a good way. I didn’t know what to say to him. Not even one of my stupid, smart-ass comments came to mind. It felt as if he’d just handed me my ass and no matter how I tried to reason it in my brain, I didn’t belong with Caroline. I didn’t deserve her. I’d never treat her right, and if I really cared about her, I’d stay away.
But the very idea made me want to puke.
Not sure what to even do, I just turned away and walked off in a strange daze.
Fear crowded my stomach like a noxious gas, giving me a painful case of indigestion. It was hard to even function I was so scared.
Last week, I’d been hurt. Every time I’d thought about Oren, I’d envisioned him with a new girl in some awful kinky position, and agony had wracked me until I was dizzy with it. So I’d stayed away to protect myself, to heal, and get over my own pity party.