Her fingers bit around mine sternly. “No. I don’t think you fully understand. This was not your fault, Caroline. It was an accident. You didn’t cause it, and you tried everything within your power to help him. You were not to blame.”
My nose burned as I tried not to cry, but it didn’t work. Hot, heavy tears filled my eyes. “But if only I’d—”
“No. No more ifs, child. Oren’s been suffering for years with all the what-ifs he has when he thinks about Zoey. Don’t put yourself through that, too. Just focus on the fact that he was a hero and saved both you and your brother. Okay?”
I couldn’t help it, I began to sob. Squeezing my eyes closed, I bowed my head and confessed, “I just want him to remember me.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Brenda tugged me away from my brother and pulled me into a warm, motherly embrace. “He will. Have faith. Oren always comes out okay. He’s our little survivor. He’ll get his memories back, and he’ll love you again. Don’t you worry.”
But I did, and I sobbed all my worries out on my mother-in-law’s shirt. She just held me, and forgave me, and after a while, the tears finally dried.
Noel made good on his threat. No matter how much I balked, he drove me home that night. I hadn’t seen Oren since the moment he’d woken from his coma and hadn’t recognized me. Everyone thought it best if he wasn’t approached by too many people he’d see as strangers just yet, not until he adjusted to the fact that he’d lost his sister and was no longer seventeen years old.
It hurt to stay away from him. A part of me wanted to sneak into his room and just have him look at me. He’d remember. He had to remember me. Us. To me, it was the only thing worth remembering. But I didn’t want to confuse him and hurt him more than he already was.
My room at Noel and Aspen’s house was no longer mine. Brandt had moved in and none of my things were there. That was okay. My home was with Oren, in his bed. I was tempted to go back to his apartment and sleep in our room, alone. But I knew I’d never sleep and missing him would kill me, so I let Brandt be a gentleman and bunk with Colton for the night while I took over his new room.
But I still couldn’t sleep, and when Colton snuck in to cuddle with me in the middle of the night, I was glad for the company, even if the bitter sweetness of it made me cry some more.