I needed to hear his explanation. I wanted to see the look in his eyes while he told me the story in his own words.
After successfully dodging his calls for days, I wasn’t yet ready for what was sure to be one of the hardest conversations of my life. So, when my phone rang for the sixth time that day, I’d expected it to show Gavin’s name on the display. Instead, it was a number I didn’t recognize.
I never should have answered. It had been Alyssa, Gavin’s executive assistant, and now he was due at my place in the next fifteen minutes.
I should have been afraid, should have run the other way and fought to erase him from my memory. Instead, I was doing the one thing I knew I shouldn’t . . . agreeing to meet with him. Because whenever I was alone with him, I found myself bending to his will more easily than I would have thought.
• • •
Pulling open my front door, I was met with the angry stare of a very sexy man.
A man I hated.
A man I still wanted.
A man who made me feel desperate and confused and wanton.
Gavin Kingsley’s six-foot-three-inch frame filled out a suit better than any man I’d ever seen. And that scowl on his perfectly handsome face? I wanted to slap it right off. Luckily for him, I was raised with better manners than that.
“Come in.” I waved him forward coolly, closing the door behind us and leading him into the front room.
He was silent, taking a moment to get his bearings. How strange that Gavin had never been inside my homey little brownstone. Then again, we’d only been dating a matter of weeks. I only felt like I knew him better, probably due in part to our run-ins at the coffee shop over the past year. But I didn’t know him, not really.
Gavin’s gaze wandered to a midcentury-modern sofa that rested opposite the windows, and the colorful rug in a geometric print that lay beneath our feet. Seeing my home now through his eyes, I felt self-conscious about my little place. If his home was a work of art, mine was a preschool arts-and-crafts project.
His eyes were the most brilliant shade of hazel, mossy green mixed with caramel brown, and they sliced through me with curiosity every time he appraised me. Now was no different.
What did he think about when he looked at me like that?
All the intimate, stolen moments we’d shared? Or the fact that I looked like his dead girlfriend?
A cool shiver raced over my skin.
“Where do we go from here, Gavin?”
“Pet?” He stumbled over the word.
I’d never heard Gavin so unsure, had never seem him anything less than calm, cool, and collected. This was new. And slightly unsettling.
My confidence rising, I straightened my shoulders and met his gaze. “I’m practically an exact replica of your last . . . submissive? Is that what she was?”
His throat moved as he swallowed, but he made no attempt to answer.
“Oh, excuse me, aside from the fact that she was younger, thinner, and a dancer.” I drew a deep inhale through my nose.
What the hell was wrong with me? Suddenly, I was jealous over a dead girl I’d never even met? Yet I couldn’t deny those feelings of uncertainty swimming through me. I’d have been jealous of anyone who had Gavin’s attention before I did. It was such a wondrous thing, so all-consuming and at times so fleeting.
“Cooper told me everything about . . . Ashley.” Her name tasted bitter on my tongue, and I heaved out a sigh.
God, I longed for when I’d been in the dark about everything. Gavin and I had seemed so much closer then, but of course I knew it hadn’t been true. Hell, for all I knew, this entire thing was some sick game for him—to seduce the woman who reminded him so much of his ex. And why not?
His gaze slid from mine and a dark look washed over his features. “Cooper doesn’t know everything, but let’s start with what he told you and go from there.”
I nodded and led him toward the sofa. There was no sense in going any further into my home. He wasn’t going to be here long.
Gavin lowered his tall frame onto the sofa that suddenly felt miniature, though I’d never noticed it before. He had a way of doing that, of dwarfing everything else around him until nothing else mattered, until nothing else existed but him.
“Let’s start with what Cooper told you,” he said.
“Right.” I folded my hands in my lap. “He told me that you met her at work. She was an escort, and . . .”
I paused, my heart rate picking up speed as I remembered the tender way Cooper had stroked my hair and murmured sweet things when I’d broken down in tears. Taking a deep breath to compose myself, I avoided meeting Gavin’s eyes, afraid of what I might see there. I couldn’t bear to know how much her loss might still hurt him.
“You dated for two years, exclusively. You begged her to quit Forbidden Desires. Cooper said that she continued entertaining clients there platonically, until you forbade it a couple of months into your relationship.”
I looked up, needing some confirmation that this was all true before continuing. Gavin gave me a tight nod.
I couldn’t imagine him allowing me to date other men while he and I were together, nor could I imagine wanting to. He was so possessive; it just seemed odd to me.
“There’s more to the story. But then, you know that.” His voice was rough, gravelly, and I realized he was referring to my love for a good mystery, my passion for stories. “Ashley had some demons in her closet that I worked to keep hidden from the world, and from my brothers. It wasn’t their business, but she had a problem with prescription painkillers. She’d started taking them a couple of years before I met her—they were prescribed for an old ballet injury. She had three foot surgeries before finally being forced to retire at just twenty-two. When she watched her friends at the dance company move on, touring the country, getting cast in roles she’d once wanted, she fell even deeper.”
None of the articles I’d read online had alluded to any drugs in her system. Something told me perhaps Gavin’s influence and deep pockets had kept that part of the story out of the media.
His long, thick fingers reached out to twist the dial on his wristwatch. “She was my submissive, yes. I’m surprised, frankly, that you guessed that much.”
“Your dominant nature isn’t exactly a secret, Gavin.”
He offered me a small smile, the first from either of us today, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. This was a heavy topic, but each and every one of his smiles was so hard won, I couldn’t dismiss it as easily as I wanted to.
“True,” he murmured softly, stroking my cheek. “That’s true, pet. And you’ve always accepted me, flaws and all.”
“So, why didn’t you just tell me the truth?”
A soft inhale and his knitted brow were my only answer. Gavin glanced at his watch. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but I have a plane to catch. Come with me, pet. We’ll finish the conversation.”
I was fairly certain he’d lost his mind, and my expression betrayed me.
“Don’t.” His thumb smoothed the line between my brows. “Don’t get inside your head like that. Trust me, just once more. You owe us that much.”
I swallowed the bitter taste in my mouth, thinking about everything we’d shared. He’d been so open about how he grew up, about his mother being a prostitute, which was no small thing to admit. I thought about our day spent at the arcade, winning tickets and eating pizza. I thought about the way he commanded my body, dominating all my senses.
As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. We weren’t done. Not by a long shot.
“I have that charity golf outing in Florida I told you about. You had agreed to come with me . . . before.”
I nodded. “Just give me some time. I need to think about this.”
He shook his head. “Time is the one thing I don’t have, unfortunately. My plane leaves in an hour. I’ll be gone for two days. Come with me, pet. We’ll discuss everything. I’ll answer every question.”
The offer was tempting. Just to leave everything behind for sunshine and palm trees and Gavin’s undivided time and attention? The answer would have been a no-brainer a few days ago. I’d even taken the time off work, but now I wasn’t so sure.