My brain latched on to his statement that he didn’t know where this was headed—wouldn’t make me any promises, but he was right, I felt more for him than I had for anyone in a long, long time. And not to mention, my body was humming for his touch. It had been so long, and no one knew my body quite like Braydon. I craved him. Even though I knew he was bad for me. “We shouldn’t,” I murmured, finding my voice.
“Don’t you think I know that? I don’t mean to mess with you like this—I never meant for things to get so complicated. But I want you. I want your friendship, and f**k, I want this body too, if you’ll let me have you.”
I chewed on my lower lip, weighing his words.
Braydon gently tugged my wrists away and my bra fell to the floor.
He inhaled sharply and cursed under his breath. He cupped my naked br**sts, his thumbs lightly grazing my ni**les. Darts of pleasure shot through me, sending a rush of warmth to my core.
Braydon watched my reaction with interest, his dark eyes missing nothing—not the rosy blush that was crawling up my neck or the way my breathing came in soft pants. He lowered his head and with his eyes still locked on mine, he pressed a tender kiss to the top of one breast, then the other. I ached to feel his mouth against my sensitive ni**les and he didn’t deny me. His hot mouth closed over a nipple, his wet tongue loving it with soft strokes. A cry broke from my lips and my knees trembled. His hands pressed the weight of my br**sts together and his mouth moved from one to the other, licking, sucking, and biting gently all while I writhed against his talented mouth.
Braydon pulled away, rising to meet my lips. He pressed a tender kiss to my mouth, then rubbed his thumb along my lower lip. The dampness he’d left behind on my br**sts puckered my ni**les in the cool air. He looked me over, his blue eyes alive with arousal and his slacks heavily tented in the front.
Not expecting anyone to see my panties tonight, I had on a pair of comfy black boy shorts. But the way his hands found my ass cheeks, which peeked from the bottom, he didn’t seem to mind in the least. He knew how to turn me on until I was soaking wet and nearly ready to beg. His fingers toyed with the waistband of my panties, dipping barely inside with featherlight touches to tease and arouse. The skin on my hips and stomach broke out in chill bumps. I rubbed a hand over the front of his pants, feeling his fully erect manhood, and my sex muscles clenched.
“Can I have you tonight?” he asked, breathless.
My brain was screaming at me to give in, to rip my panties down my legs and undo his pants . . . but my heart was throbbing painfully, reminding me of the ache only he could produce. “Have you been with anyone else?” I held my breath.
He shook his head. “No. There’s no one else.”
My breath whooshed past my lips as I breathed a sigh of relief. “Are you staying the night?” Cuddling with him was my favorite postsex activity. Sleeping warm and secure in Braydon’s arms made everything okay.
“Of course. After I orgasm, I can pretty much crash anywhere.” He chuckled lightly, looking at me like this was a fact I should know about him by now.
So not what I wanted to hear. I drew a deep breath and took a step back from him. Despite how sweet and attentive he was with me, that was still all this was. He made that crystal clear. This was sex between two consenting adults. Plain and simple. I could take it, or I could leave it. I knew exactly what I needed to do.
I crossed the room and stood at my open bedroom door. “Good-bye, Braydon.”
He adjusted his erection and came to stand next to me, pressing his palm against my cheek. “Kitten?”
“This has got to be fifty-fifty. If you can’t give me what I need, I won’t give you what you want.”
“What are you saying?” His thumb lightly rubbed my cheek.
“This isn’t going to work for me.”
Sad blue eyes met mine. “Understood.”
I wanted him to argue, to fight for me, but I knew that wouldn’t happen. Even more of a reason to let him go.
As I watched him pull his shirt back on over his head, my heart ached painfully in my chest, fearing that this was it. I wondered if this was the last time I would see him.
Without even a last glance my way, Braydon left me in my too-quiet apartment. Naked and alone.
14
Emmy came over a few evenings later to check in on me after my disastrous night with Braydon. We’d just finished giant spinach salads and garlic rolls from the deli downstairs and were sitting cross-legged on my living room floor, casually chatting about life, work, and any other topic that wasn’t my cringe-worthy love life. Thank God.
Never had I felt so out of control, so powerless around a man. Sometimes it infuriated me the way Braydon made me feel. Other times it was so completely blissful that it made my entire life’s outlook brighter. Today was not one of those days. I used to be so fearless giving Emmy advice when it came to Ben. I’d tell her not to take any shit. To not give into his sexual advances—to make him sweat a little. It was so easy from the sidelines. I wasn’t emotionally involved.
Things with Braydon were so much more complicated. I’d inadvertently given him not only my body but also my heart. I knew deep down I was falling for him. I’d fallen for his quick wit and sense of humor, for his sexy confidence, for the way he made me feel about myself. Aside from his commitment issues, he was sweet, a true gentleman. It was dangerous territory, especially because I was damn certain this was all just physical for him. He’d reminded me time and again.