It wasn’t a choice. I wouldn’t turn my back on him. My heart, my body, my entire being craved him like a drug.
Her expression softened. “I support you and whatever makes you happy. I just want to make sure you’re being careful with your heart this time.”
I tossed the potatoes into the pot with more force than necessary. “I’ve got it, Mom.”
Of course she was only trying to help, and she’d seen me at my worst after my breakup with Ben obliterated my heart like it’d been through a blender.
“Well, is he religious, does he have the same values as our family, Emerson?”
Religious? I didn’t think so. Not particularly. But he had values I respected. He was hardworking, willing to help out friends, dedicated, and faithful. That was all I needed. Of course now that my mom had mentioned it, I was dying with curiosity to know his stance on marriage and kids. Even getting him to say I love you seemed like a giant leap for him. I was just hoping no one grilled him over dinner on politics or religion. My damn family would scare him off before we even got started.
Somehow the awkward pauses and tense silences hanging around the men had evaporated by the time they returned from the annual turkey hunt. Porter dealt with the bird in the garage and my dad and Ben came inside, all smiles and loud stories. I bounded into the living room. How very homey . . . my man coming home with my daddy after hunting.
“Woman, I bring meat,” Ben said with a chuckle, mimicking a deep, cavemanlike voice.
My dad laughed and patted him loudly on the back. “He did well. He’s a great shot.”
I beamed up at him, fighting the urge to kiss him silly. He’d never looked sexier—returning from a hunt with my father; the smell of fresh air, sweat, and male bonding. I could envision him being part of my family and that thought sent a little thrill racing through my system. Coupled with my mom’s talk earlier about marriage and babies, my mind was on overload with visions of matrimonial bliss. I needed to stop. I was acting crazy. Lord, I could only imagine my mom’s reaction if she knew about Fiona.
“Nice job, honey.” I pressed a kiss to his throat and scurried off to the kitchen before I molested him in front of my dad. I couldn’t imagine that’d go over well.
After eating an amazing home-cooked dinner of barbecued ribs, beans, and corn bread, we drank glasses of sweet tea. My dad even broke out his special aged whiskey reserved for special occasions to pour himself, Porter, and Ben glasses.
My dad stood at the head of the table and raised his glass. “I’d just like to properly welcome Ben here to Tennessee. Say thank you for bringing my girl home safe and sound.”
The smile on Ben’s face and the twinkle in his eye was priceless. I wanted to bottle that contented, happy look and save it to enjoy later. Seeing him around my family tonight, I was repeatedly hit with a pang of sadness that he didn’t have this type of relationship with his mom, and to the best of my knowledge, didn’t know who his dad was. I was glad to see my family welcoming him.
After dinner I helped my mom wash the dishes while Ben helped my dad clean the guns. Porter hadn’t seemed to warm to Ben yet and took off for a local tavern for a beer by himself. Even though he was my younger brother, he acted like he was ten years older—always had. He was superprotective of me, so it didn’t surprise me he hadn’t taken to Ben just yet, although I hoped he would in time.
At bedtime my mom and I helped Ben cover the couch with sheets and left him extra blankets and pillows. I lingered beside the couch and Ben’s dark eyes landed on mine. My mom cleared her throat. “Say goodnight, but nothing funny, you two. It would make your dad really uncomfortable.”
“Of course, Mrs. Clarke. Thank you for your hospitality.”
Ben had such good manners in front of my parents. I loved seeing this side of him. Knowing there was a filthy-talking sex god lurking just under the surface of this well-mannered man was a big turn-on. Huge.
My mom disappeared down the darkened hallway and only the low light from the television was left to illuminate us. It was the first time we’d been alone all day. I wanted to wrap my arms around his waist, bury my face against his neck, and breathe in. But I knew once I felt his firm body and inhaled his delicious scent, I’d want more.
His hand slid under my hair to cradle the back of my neck then he tilted my head and pressed his lips to mine. “Thanks for bringing me home,” he whispered.
“Thank you for coming.” I leaned my head back into his palm.
“I’m gonna win your dad over. You know that, right?”
I nodded, unable to take my eyes from his. “Are you going to be able to sleep?”
He gave my neck a gentle squeeze. “I’ll be fine. You get some rest.”
I scurried down the darkened hallway to my bedroom before I changed my mind and tackled him onto the couch.
After brushing my teeth and changing into sweatpants and a tank top, I crawled under the covers of my familiar old bed. Pulling my grandma’s quilt up to my chin, I lay there wide awake, wondering if it’d ever be possible for Ben to fit into this life.
I tossed and turned on the lumpy, narrow mattress until well past midnight. My mom’s words rang in my head. Unanswered questions, topics Ben and I had never discussed. Not to mention he just looked out of place in this shabby trailer. Too commanding, too big, most assuredly too beautiful. It suddenly felt like a big f**king deal that I didn’t know his stance on marriage and kids. I’d fallen hopelessly in love with him without even knowing if we were compatible, if we were building toward something real.