Slouch Witch - Page 35/57

‘We’ll start with the other people in Diall’s department,’ Winter declared decisively as we headed back to the car. I was starting to feel like a yo-yo with all this going in and coming out again. ‘We already know he sent two of them to commit a crime against Ms Harrington. Perhaps he has done the same to others and they will lead us to more clues.’

‘Great!’ I beamed. ‘Can we stop along the way? I want to pick up a magnifying glass.’

‘No.’

‘But all the best investigators use them. It’ll help us hunt for clues. I was thinking perhaps I should get a gun as well.’

‘This is not a television episode. And it’s obvious that you have the skills to defend yourself if you need to.’

I thought mournfully of the gun used by my would-be taxi mugger. I could have used that but the police would have impounded it by now. That’s what I got for trying to stay on the right side of the law. I could magic up something into a gun but it wouldn’t be like the real thing. Transmogrification was never perfect, especially when technology was involved.

‘A gun takes less time to use than magic.’ I formed my forefinger and thumb into an imaginary weapon. ‘Bang. You’re dead.’ I grinned. ‘I win.’

‘That is not necessarily true.’ Winter glared at me. ‘I’ll prove it. You be the bad guy with the gun.’

I clapped my hands in delight. ‘Role-play? Do I get to dress up?’

‘You’re fine as you are.’

‘But…’

‘Ivy.’

I rolled my eyes. ‘Fine,’ I muttered.

‘Walk towards me,’ Winter instructed. ‘When you decide the time is right, you can shoot me with your … gun.’

I mimed placing my weapon in my pocket. ‘This is going to be a piece of cake.’ I started strolling; to add to the atmosphere, I also started humming. Nothing to see here, just a plumpish blonde out for a walk. Less than fifteen feet away, Winter pulled back his shoulders and headed in my direction. It was like the world’s worst-ever game of chicken.

Although I stayed on the balls of my feet, I forced myself to look relaxed. Even though he knew it was coming, I still wanted Winter to think I was going to wait until he passed me before I reacted.

I didn’t look directly at him but I could see him with my peripheral vision. When we were almost shoulder to shoulder, I spun to my left and started to pull out my imaginary gun. Winter also turned, checked my hand, then drew a rune. Before I could bring my hand up to chest level, I was thrown backwards by an immense force. I landed on my back, winded and in considerable pain.

‘Shit!’ Winter jogged over to me. ‘Are you alright?’

I lifted my head weakly. ‘It hurts,’ I admitted.

‘Where?’

I pointed to my back. ‘I’m not sure I can move.’

He bent down. ‘I’m so sorry, Ivy. I never intended to—’

I lifted up my hand again and this time managed to get my ‘shot’ off. ‘Bang.’

For a moment Winter stared at me then he growled under his breath, ‘You cheated.’

‘No, I didn’t. I took advantage of the situation.’ I grinned at him. ‘I still won.’ I stuck my hand into the air and waved it around. ‘Help me up.’

He tutted. ‘You’re incorrigible.’ He reached down, grabbing my palm with his left hand. What I hadn’t realised was that he’d pulled out a smattering of herbs from his right pocket. As he hefted me upwards, he blew them into my face.

‘What the—?’ A cloud of choking black magical smoke enveloped me. I let go of Winter’s hand and tried to waft it away. Hearing him chuckle, I spun round as if in the throes of panic. Then I launched a sharp kick, catching him on the shin.

Unable to see him, I leapt backwards, thinking I’d be out of his reach. Winter was faster than I expected, however, and he lunged towards me and barrelled me to the ground. He landed on top of me, just managing to brace himself to avoid crushing me completely. Not that I reckoned I would have minded that much. His blue eyes pierced mine and I shivered.

‘Are you cold?’

‘No.’

We stared at each other. His head dipped down further until I could feel his hot breath against my skin. ‘Ivy,’ he began, his voice strained.

‘Good afternoon! Do you need some help there?’

I turned my head to the side. It was Mrs Burridge, the woman who lived on the floor above me. ‘We’re fine,’ I called out.

Winter’s mouth twisted, then he shifted his weight, pulling himself upright.

‘Are you sure? Because I know a great spell.’

‘Don’t worry, Mrs B. It’s all good.’

She peered at us both. ‘If you’re sure.’

I coughed. ‘Yep.’

She smiled benignly and continued on her way.

‘I don’t know her,’ Winter said, no longer looking at me. ‘She’s a witch?’

I stood up and dusted myself off. ‘She thinks she is. The most magic she’s ever managed was to avoid paying the building maintenance fees for three years.’ Admittedly, I wished I’d accomplished that.

Winter let out a non-committal grunt. ‘We should go.’

I coughed. ‘Yeah.’ I hesitated and he looked at me questioningly. ‘I still won though.’

‘No, you didn’t.’

I folded my arms smugly. Yeah, I did.

***

Diall worked at the Geomancy Branch, a section of the Order that probably sounds a whole lot more glamorous than it actually is. Geomancy is the magical equivalent of the more spiritual Feng Shui. When new houses are built, the Geomancy Branch are brought in to ensure that everything is planned and structured to avoid disturbing any untoward magical forces. The stronger the Geomancy magic, the more majestic and inspirational the final buildings. As an example, St Paul’s Cathedral is surrounded by Geomantic magic. It is said that more than five hundred witches worked with Christopher Wren on that particular project. Walk through the doors and you can still feel the old magic buzzing in the air.

These days, of course, they work on suburban houses and estates. There is little Geomancy called for when it comes to fitted kitchens and underfloor heating. The more technology that is incorporated in new buildings, the more it conflicts with Geomancy. I’d heard on the grapevine that their latest big project involved cowsheds. Admirable, to be sure: cows deserve somewhere decent to sleep just as much as humans. But it wasn’t exactly romantic, interesting work. Still, it made some sense that Bell End and Alice were from Geomancy. If you want to be a thief and break into people’s houses, understanding the magic that binds them would be very handy.

Winter and I walked into their showy building in the far corner of the Order campus. As if to prove their worth, the Geomancy worker bees had gone to considerable effort to make the place look grand. Like most of the neighbouring university buildings, this one was made out of local Headington stone but it was an odd mish-mash of styles, as if each generation had sought to put their personal stamp on the structure. There were sweeping curves coupled with harsh gargoyles and perpendicular modern lines. Although it was a mess, I rather liked the way it had been put together. I particularly liked the marble floor in the entrance because it was shiny enough for me to slide across without bothering to pick up my feet.

‘How old did you say you were?’ Winter enquired.

‘Twenty-seven.’ I pushed out my arms. Perhaps if I was more streamlined, I could slide to the next pillar. I turned my head and grinned at him. ‘If you’re trying to make the point that I’m childish, thank you very much. The only reason that most adults don’t do things like this is because they’re too concerned about what others think. Or they’re so worried about their problems they can’t think about anything but themselves. Or they no longer see the wonder and joy in sliding across a floor or down a banister. I think that’s sad, not immature.’

‘Hmmm.’ Winter scratched his chin. Rather than frowning at me in disapproval, he shocked me by flinging himself forward and trying to glide along himself. He didn’t get very far. ‘This is stupid,’ he muttered.