“You’re a good mother,” Leanne whispered, smiling down on her grandson.
“Thank you.” Nichole realized she had her own mother to thank. Sandra Judson had set an amazing example as a homemaker and a wife.
“You’re like the daughter I never had, which is why I felt I had to come to you,” Leanne said. The words trembled as they came from her lips. She grabbed hold of Nichole’s hand, her fingers gripping hers to the point it was almost painful.
“I realize now what a terrible mistake I made,” she said, her voice gaining strength. “If I’d left Sean when I was young, perhaps it would be different for Jake, perhaps he would …” She hesitated and seemed unable to go on. “I’m doing this for Owen and for you, so that you don’t repeat the mistakes I made.”
A chill ran down Nichole’s spine, one so cold and terrifying that she found it difficult to speak. Leanne couldn’t possibly be implying what Nichole thought she was. “Leanne, what are you saying?” she asked slowly, enunciating each word carefully so there would be no misunderstanding.
“Jake came to the house to talk to his father last night. He didn’t know I was close enough to overhear their conversation. I didn’t intentionally eavesdrop, but I got the gist of what he was saying. I felt you had to know.”
“Know what?” Nichole was almost afraid to ask, but it was as if she’d stumbled on a horrible car accident and couldn’t keep from gawking. She needed the truth.
“This is going to deeply hurt you, Nichole. I would give anything to spare you this pain, but there’s nothing I can say or do that is going to help.”
“I prefer to know,” she insisted. She squared her shoulders like a defiant soldier standing before a firing squad.
“Jake has gotten another woman pregnant.”
Nichole gasped and jerked violently. She couldn’t help it, the shock of it, the pain of it, nearly knocked her off her chair.
Leanne gripped her hands with both of her own. “Jake came to ask for his father’s advice and help.”
Tugging one hand free, Nichole covered her mouth, fearing she was about to scream. The only thing that prevented her from crying out was the thought of frightening Owen.
“I would do anything to spare you this,” Leanne said, tears running down her cheeks. “The only reason I’m telling you is for Owen’s sake. I had no idea Jake was aware of his father’s infidelity … like father, like son. This has to end, and I’m determined to make sure it ends with Jake. He’s my son and I would gladly give my life for him, but I will not allow him to destroy you the way Sean has destroyed me. I absolutely refuse to let him teach his son to disrespect and dishonor his wife the way Sean has me.”
Nichole gripped hold of her mother-in-law’s arm. She closed her eyes as the pain made its way through her heart. Her first reaction was intense anger, and then a nearly overwhelming desire to lash back and hurt Jake in return.
All the nights he claimed to be working late. The gifts he brought her. It all made sense now. It wasn’t love. It was guilt, and perhaps fear.
He would pay. Nichole was determined she’d get him where it hurt him most. Right away her head was filled with thoughts of retaliation, vengeance.
“Nichole,” Leanne whispered. “I am so sorry.”
“You did the right thing.” Her voice barely sounded like her own. Nichole’s mind was in turmoil.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Leanne continued, “if not now, later. You’ll be tempted to rationalize what Jake has done, blame yourself as if there was something lacking in you. That’s what I did. I was convinced if I was prettier, thinner, a better lover Sean wouldn’t need other women. I was a fool. Don’t believe any of it. The lack isn’t in you, it’s in Sean and in Jake. Do you understand me? Don’t fall into that trap.”
“I won’t,” Nichole whispered.
“There’s comfort in looking the other way and pretending, but I’m here to tell you the price is far too high. It will rob you of your self-worth, of your dignity, of your soul.”
Nichole could see the truth of those words in her mother-in-law’s eyes. Her hands trembled as she tried to assimilate this news.
“I … I don’t know what to do,” she whispered.
“For now, do nothing. Think this through carefully before you act, and be smart. Make an appointment with an attorney and find out your rights. I heard Jake mention that he had a business trip coming up.”
“He leaves in the morning.”
“How long will he be away?”
“Four days—no, five.” Nichole could barely think straight. What Leanne said hit home. She needed to be smart about this and carefully think this through. She would obviously talk to him and hear what he had to say, but she would go in knowing what her options were. “Thank you,” she whispered, struggling to keep her voice from wobbling. “I know this couldn’t have been easy for you.”
Leanne reached over and hugged her. “You’re smart and you have your whole life ahead of you. You’ll do what’s best for you and Owen, I know you will.”
Nichole sincerely hoped her mother-in-law was right.
Chapter 34
Karen and Cassie sat with Nichole in her living room. Hearing the pain in her sister’s voice was all it took for Cassie to drop everything and, with Amiee in tow, head to Portland. Thankfully, Steve had insisted she drive his car … the one Alicia had once owned. Karen, too, had left Spokane and rushed to her sister’s side.
“I’m so grateful you were both able to come,” Nichole murmured, for what seemed like the hundredth time.
Nichole had contacted Cassie the morning after the visit from her mother-in-law. She was so upset she had hardly been able to speak coherently. Jake had an out-of-town business trip, which gave Nichole five days to form a plan.
“I can’t think straight,” she whispered.
“You don’t need to make a decision this weekend,” Karen advised her.
“Jake knows something is up. I did what I could to act normally, but I could barely stand to look at him.”
“If he knows you know, then all the better,” Karen said. “That makes it easier.”
“None of this is easy.”
“It can’t be,” Cassie agreed.
“How could I have been so blind?” Nichole demanded. “The evidence was right there in front of me and … and I didn’t see it. All those late nights, the excuses, the Saturdays he played two rounds of golf and didn’t seem the least bit tired. He was with … her.”
“You trusted him,” Karen said, patting Nichole’s shoulder.
“I definitely want a separation,” Nichole whispered. “He’s going to have to leave until I sort out what’s best for me and Owen.”
“Don’t you move,” Karen advised. “Not yet, at any rate.”
“That’s what Leanne said.”
Nichole had mentioned her friend Audrey earlier. Nichole and Audrey had been college roommates. Audrey had continued on to law school and was currently working for one of the premier Portland law firms. She’d immediately advised Nichole on how best to protect herself financially.
“I just never thought something like this would happen to me and Jake. I could see that it about killed Leanne to tell me what she’d learned. She said she did it for Owen, so that he won’t grow up believing that it’s acceptable to cheat on one’s wife the way his grandfather and father did.”
“She has a good point,” Karen said.
Cassie leaned over and reached for Nichole’s hand, which was cold. Her sister trembled slightly. “Would you rather not know?” she asked gently.
“Yes,” she cried, and then quickly changed her mind. “No. The thing is I don’t know what to do. Leanne has lived with a cheating husband all these years, but she also told me that the price she paid for looking the other way was far too high.”
Cassie understood her sister’s waffling all too well. For years she convinced herself life with Duke wasn’t always miserable. There’d been good times, too. When it was good it was very good, and when it was bad, well, it was beyond miserable. She clung to the good times, convinced herself the bad days weren’t really that bad. As the years progressed, there were far fewer good times and far more bad days and nights. But if it hadn’t been for that night and Duke’s search for a knife, Cassie still had to wonder how long it would have taken for her to gather the courage to leave.