‘You really need to hunt, don’t you?’ Spotting Fabian and the others dodging the crowd moving the other way, I suddenly had an idea.
He nodded weakly. ‘I’ve never been in a crowd like that.’
When Fabian arrived, I grabbed him. ‘Is there somewhere inconspicuous around here that you can go to, to you know?’ I jerked my head towards Cain. ‘Hunt,’ I finished in an undertone. Fabian nodded, refusing to meet my eyes. My heart seemed to fall a thousand feet: he could not even look at me now.
‘You boys go then and us girls will hit the shops.’ I grimaced. Talk about sacrifice.
Fabian agreed and started to walk away, but Cain hung back, pulling something from his wallet.
‘Here, you’ll need this.’
I looked down at the little rectangle of plastic in his palm. I raised an eyebrow. ‘Is that yours?’
He attempted a smile. ‘No. I borrowed it off a certain someone a while ago.’
Comprehension dawned. ‘Can I max that thing out?’ I asked, an understanding smirk broadening on my face.
‘You can try. But his account is pretty much bottomless,’ Cain explained. Taking a step forward he whispered the pin number into my ear. ‘Knock yourself out.’ He winked and set off in pursuit of the others.
I followed Lyla and Cathy out of the station, facing the prospect of a Kaspar-free day: a day free of his mind tricks and unavoidable attraction. It was liberating as I realized that now he was gone, my spirits had lifted. Whatever he was doing to me, whatever he was making me feel … I didn’t like it and it was frustratingly hard to resist.
Stepping out into the bustling streets of London, I inhaled the familiar stench of exhaust fumes and exotic food from every country imaginable. All around me people spoke in their own accents and native tongues and it was like music to my ears. I’d been surrounded by stiff-upper-lip posh accents for too long.
I beamed, feeling as though I was walking on air. I’m home.
Cain and Declan caught up with us outside Harrods, where Lyla and Cathy had spent endless hours. I had passed the time by donating to every single charity the department store supported, all using Kaspar’s debit card. At first it filled me with glee, but the thrill of revenge quickly waned and I started to feel bad – even if he had kissed me.
My stomach saved the two boys from having to view every one of Lyla’s purchases by growing loudly.
‘What the heck was that?’
I blushed. ‘That was my stomach. I’m hungry.’
Cain screwed up his face. ‘Human stomachs growl when they are hungry? Wow! They never taught us that one at Vampirs. So what do you want to eat? ’Cause we’re kind of full, if you catch my drift.’ He winked cheekily at me, and I thought for a moment.
I grinned. ‘I’d die for some chips.’
A few minutes later and I was opening up a greasy sheet of newspaper, the luscious smell of salt and vinegar filled my nostrils. Stepping out the takeaway I could still smell the stench of burning fat in the fryers and raw fish coated in batter. Waiting for the others, I took a single bite of one fat, crispy, piping-hot chip.
Now this was better than cheese sandwiches.
Trying not to burn my mouth I chewed the potato, swallowing and wincing as it burnt my throat instead. Cain stepped out into the fresh air closely followed by Fabian, both holding large portions.
‘Full, eh?’ I smiled, seeing the rest of the boys stepping out too with ridiculous amounts of food. It seemed as though Lyla and Cathy were boycotting the fat, each with a bottle of Diet Coke in hand and no food.
‘So, where do you want to go? Because I can’t eat standing up,’ I prompted.
Cain shrugged his shoulders. ‘Embankment?’
I nodded in agreement. Following Cain and not really focusing, I didn’t notice when Fabian fell in step beside me.
‘Can I talk to you? In private?’ he added, watching as Cain turned and glanced from one of us to the other.
‘Err, sure,’ I replied hesitantly, silently begging Cain with my eyes to object. He gave me one last apologetic look before walking off, closely followed by the other five. As Lyla passed she glared at me, arms crossed defensively across her chest.
Suddenly finding the pavement extremely interesting, I hid behind my hair, praying he would not see the fiery blush tainting my cheeks. Brushing my toe across a crack in the stone he spoke.
‘What happened earlier?’ His voice was unnaturally calm and controlled, as though he was barely containing his temper – something I suspected I had never truly seen.
‘Earlier?’
‘With Kaspar.’
I sighed. I should have known. Of course Fabian would want to know why I had his blood on my lips; why Kaspar had disappeared, which I did not even know the answer to myself. Hates the tube, my arse.
‘Nothing,’ I exhaled, knowing my ploy to lie would not last long.
He took a step closer, towering above me. And in the narrow side-street, surrounded by tall town buildings, the low hum of traffic just a few streets over, the grey, unexciting skies hovering above me, I felt extremely small. Extremely insignificant.
‘Just tell me, Violet.’
‘We stopped at that place and Kaspar, he seemed distracted, and suddenly he just pulled me towards him, a-and we talked, and then …’ I trailed off.
‘Go on.’
‘He cut his lip, and I sort of, well, we-we kissed,’ I said, surprised at how eager I was to tell someone; anyone. My head dropped to the floor because I knew I could not face seeing his expression at that moment. ‘But only for a second and then he disappeared.’
A small, strained voice cut through the silence. ‘Why?’
‘I-I don’t know … his blood just sort of … sent me crazy, and I couldn’t stop it.’ Taking a peep up towards him, I saw him too looking at the ground. ‘What happened to me, Fabian? I-I didn’t want that!’
Lies, my voice breathed.
‘I don’t know. But … tell me the truth. Do you feel anything when I do this?’
‘Do what?’
He took a step towards me and tilted my chin to the side.
‘This.’
Planting his lips on mine, everything forbidden, wrong and immoral came flooding back. And that was just me wishing it was not Fabian’s lips on mine, but Kaspar’s.
As my lips moved in time to his of their own accord I felt the wave of gushing love, longing, need and most of all happiness. Yet all the while … it just wasn’t the same.
I knew that when we broke apart, that would be it and I would return to thinking of him as nothing more than a friend. And I knew that I was hurting him by allowing him to kiss me. Yet still my hands snaked around his neck, clutching the little bag of chips, pulling him down, closer. All of a sudden he broke away, holding me at arms length, hope gleaming in his eyes.
‘Anything?’
‘Yes. But …’ I heard his breath quicken. ‘I’m sorry, but it’s only ever when I kiss you. I don’t … it’s not … I’m sorry, Fabian, but I never have and never will think of you as more than a friend, and I don’t know why because you’re so nice, and you treat me so well …’
And Kaspar doesn’t, my voice offered.
‘I just don’t love you. I’m sorry … I don’t know what happens when I kiss you.’
He closed his eyes. ‘You experience what every other human would when they kiss a vampire. It’s how we seduce our prey … sometimes. And no, it’s not love,’ he said. Impassively. Unemotionally. But underneath I could hear the strained tone in his voice, the true measure of how much he was hurting.
‘And not what a relationship should be based on.’
Instantly, I regretted what I had said. Fabian’s expression dropped from unreadable to rage in mere seconds.
‘And what you and Kaspar have is? Should a relationship be based on lust, blood and desire? Is that what you want, Violet?!’ he thundered, taking a step closer to me as I did the same.
‘Who said anything about a relationship?’
‘No one. Nothing. Nothing but the way you act!’
‘I don’t want a relationship. Not with a vampire, not with anyone! I had enough of men when my last boyfriend cheated on me, remember?’ I screeched, breathing heavily, madly gesturing with my hands which were curled into fists, flinging the bag of chips around at precarious speed.
‘Don’t lie to me! You want him, and you know it.’ His eyes narrowed. ‘But hear me, Violet. When he breaks your heart, don’t come running to me, because I won’t have a heart to spare. Remember that.’
With that he turned and fled, leaving nothing behind but a whipped wind.
‘I won’t let my heart get broken, idiot,’ I murmured after him. I leaned up against the railings of a nearby house, undoubtedly split up into flats and allowed myself to cool down. After a few deep breaths, panic set in.
Why the hell do I prefer Kaspar when he was such an arse, plainly put? Okay, an arse with his moments, but cruel all the same?
You prefer him, because like you said, it’s not just because of the seduction that you kissed him, is it, Violet? my voice probed, in it’s usual taunting manner. Just follow your heart. What is the first name that comes into your head?
I sighed. ‘Kaspar.’
My voice chuckled. Then you made the right decision.
I closed my eyes, feeling stupid for seeking reassurance from a voice in my head. Yet I knew it was right. Because I knew I felt something for him, despite what he was, and despite the abuse I had put up with from all corners.
A shallow summary it was, but I wondered how I had rejected the good guy and found myself increasingly attracted to the jerk of a vampire prince. Who kidnapped me. My life is one messed up cliché of a story.
I sprung away from the railings and trailed in Fabian’s wake.
Leaning back onto the bench I stuck my greasy hands deep into my pockets, having finished my chips and impatient for the others to finish. Cain, sat next to me, had long since fallen silent and so instead I watched the street performers dotted along the embankment.
Something further along caught my eye. Three guys, wearing zipped-up hoodies and baggy jeans held up by belts that clearly did not work, were leisurely walking along the pavement, swearing loudly and laughing raucously at the nearest mime artist. Beanie hats over jagged fringes, tight T-shirts, collars turned up, they swaggered closer. It was only when one of them looked up and glanced our (Lyla’s) way that I recognized them.
Joel’s friends.
‘Shit!’ I breathed, panicking. Cain turned to me questioningly, before following my gaze. His eyes landed on the three boys gradually getting closer. There were both staring at me, but stupid as they were, I did not think they had recognized me.
‘What?’ Cain flustered, yanking his head from me to them.
I raised my widened eyes to face him. ‘I know them!’
Cain’s eyes widened too, paling. ‘Fuck.’
I nodded furiously. As they both passed behind a large group of tourists I leapt up, meaning to run for it. But before I could take a step forward I was pulled back down onto the cold wood.
‘Where do you think you’re going?’ Cain hissed, sounding uncannily like his brother.
‘I’m getting out of here! They’ll recognize me!’
‘You can’t!’
‘I can!’
‘Then I’m coming with you,’ he declared, jumping up too as I made to move. I pushed him back down onto the bench and replied rather too quickly.
‘No! I mean, I’ll be fine, I won’t run off.’ Hastily, I glanced up and saw the three guys, both glaring intently at me. They were gradually pushing their way through the crowds and I knew if they saw me properly they would instantly know who I was.
Cain’s eyes followed the parting crowd like a hawk surveying prey, before he turned to me. ‘Okay, okay, but please don’t run off, Kaspar will kill me. We’ll sort this out, just go!’
I did not need telling twice. I dove into a side-street and then through the crowds, feeling tears streak my cheeks. I didn’t know where I was going, or even where I was; I just knew to keep running.
Elbowing someone out of the way I heard disgruntled grunts from behind me, followed by loud cursing. Glancing back I saw a man clad in an expensive suit shaking his fist at me, briefcase full of papers scattered across the pavement.
Fresh sobs caught in my throat and a new wave of tears poured down from my eyes. Joel? Why now? I don’t need this.
Still pelting it down the pavement I ran to the one place I could seek comfort around here: Hamleys. A toy store. Lame, but true. The shelves and shelves of toys brought happy childhood memories flooding back – and happy memories were just what I needed.
Running up the escalators I passed screaming children, all dragging peeved-looking parents towards expensive-looking toys. Tripping over at the top of what felt like the millionth escalator, I found myself staring at a room full of train sets.
I ducked behind a shelf and leaned up against a stable-looking pile of boxes containing model trucks. I took several deep breaths.
Joel’s appearance had taken me off guard. That was for sure. And that had to be why my heart felt as though there was a vice clutching it, right? Because I was over him. I’m over him. That had to be the reason my heart felt as though with every faint pump the clamp around it was constricting, restricting the flow of essential liquid – blood.
Suddenly, something cold pressed against my back. ‘I’m going to suck your blood,’ a voice murmured against my neck, and I flinched.
‘Don’t do that!’ I exclaimed as plastic fangs pressed themselves into my neck, arms clad in dark material wrapping themselves around my shoulders. ‘Kaspar! Get off!’