“I know,” Rowan said. He shouldn’t have pushed. “I’m sorry.”
Fenrys just nodded. “I haven’t been able to stomach it since then. I—I’m not even certain I can use it again,” he said, and repeated, “I’m sorry.”
Rowan clapped him on the shoulder. Another thing he’d make Maeve pay for. “You might not have even found him, anyway.”
Fenrys’s jaw tightened. “He could be anywhere.”
“He could be dead,” murmured Princess Hasar.
“Or injured,” Chaol cut in, wheeling to the wall’s edge to survey the battlefield below and distant dam beyond it.
Aelin, a few feet away, gazed toward it as well, her blood-soaked hair ripping free of its braid in the harsh wind. Flowing toward those mountains, the destruction that would soon be unleashed.
She said nothing. Had done nothing since Nesryn and Sartaq brought the news. Her exact sort of nightmare, he realized, to be unable to help, to be forced to watch while others suffered. No words could comfort her, no words could fix this. Stop this.
“I could try to track him,” Gavriel offered.
Rowan shook off his creeping dread. “I’ll fly out, try to pinpoint him, and signal back to you—”
“Don’t bother,” said Princess Hasar, and Rowan was about to snarl his retort when she pointed to the battlefield. “She’s already ahead of you.”
Rowan whirled, the others following suit.
“No,” Fenrys breathed.
There, galloping across the plain on a familiar black horse, was Elide.
“Farasha,” Chaol murmured.
“She’ll be killed,” said Gavriel, tensing as if he might jump off the battlements and chase after her. “She’ll be—”
Farasha leaped over fallen bodies, weaving between the injured and dead, Elide twisting this way and that in the saddle. And from the distance, Rowan could make out her mouth moving, shouting one word, one name, over and over. Lorcan.
“If any of you go down there,” Hasar warned, “you’ll be killed, too.”
It went against every instinct, against the centuries of training and fighting he’d done with Lorcan, but the princess was right. To lose one life was better than several. Especially when he would need his cadre so badly during the rest of this war.
Lorcan would agree—had taught Rowan to make those sorts of hard calls.
Still Aelin remained silent, as if she’d descended deep within herself, and gazed at the battlefield.
At the small rider and the mighty horse racing across it.
Farasha was a tempest beneath her, but the mare did not seek to unseat Elide as they thundered across the body-strewn plain.
“Lorcan!”
Her shout was swallowed by the wind, by the screams of fleeing soldiers and people, by the shriek of the ruks above. “Lorcan!”
She searched every corpse she passed for a hint of that shining black hair, that harsh face. So many. The field of the dead stretched on forever, bodies piled several deep.
Farasha leaped over them, cutting sharp turns as Elide pivoted to look and look and look.
Darghan horses and riders ran past. Some to the keep, some to the distant forest along the horizon. Farasha wove between them, biting at those in her path.
“Lorcan!” How small her cry sounded, how feeble.
Still the dam held.
I will always find you.
And her words, her stupid, hateful words to him … Had she done this? Brought this upon him? Asked some god to do this?
Her words had all melted away the moment she’d realized he was not on the battlements. The past few months had melted away entirely.
“Lorcan!”
Unfaltering, Farasha kept moving, her black mane streaming in the wind.
The dam had to hold. It would hold. Until she brought him back to the keep.
So Elide did not stop, did not look toward the doom that lurked, waiting to be unleashed.
She rode, and rode, and rode.
Atop the battlement, Chaol didn’t know what to watch: the dam, the people fleeing its oncoming destruction, or the young Lady of Perranth, racing across the battlefield atop his horse.
A warm hand settled on his shoulder, and he knew it was Yrene without turning. “I just heard about the dam. I’d sent Elide to see if you were …” His wife’s words trailed off as she beheld the lone rider charging away from the masses thundering for the keep.
“Silba save her,” Yrene whispered.
“Lorcan’s down there,” was all Chaol said by way of explanation.
The Fae males were taut as bowstrings while the young woman crossed the battlefield bit by bit. The odds of her finding Lorcan, let alone before the dam burst …
Still Elide kept riding. Racing against death itself.
Princess Hasar said quietly, “The girl is a fool. The bravest I’ve ever seen, but a fool nonetheless.”
Aelin said nothing, her eyes distant. Like she’d retreated into herself at the realization that this sliver of hope was about to be washed away. Her friends with it.
“Hellas guards Lorcan,” Fenrys murmured. “And Anneith, his consort, watches over Elide. Perhaps they will find each other.”
“Hellas’s horse,” Chaol said.
They turned toward him, dragging their eyes from the field.
Chaol shook his head and gestured to the field, to the black mare and her rider. “I call Farasha Hellas’s horse. I’ve done so from the moment I met her.”
As if meeting that horse, bringing her here, was not as much for him as it was for this. For this desperate race across an endless battlefield.
Yrene clasped his hand, like she understood, too.
Silence fell along their section of the battlement. There were no words left to say.
“Lorcan!”
Elide’s voice broke on the cry. She’d lost count of how many times she’d shouted it now.
No sign of him.
She aimed for the lake. Closer to the dam. He would have chosen the lake for its defensive advantages.
Bodies were a blur beneath, around them. So many Valg lying on the field. Some reached pale hands for Farasha. As if they’d grab her, rip her apart, beg her for help.
The mare trampled them into the mud, bone snapping and skulls cracking.
He had to be out here. Had to be somewhere. Alive—hurt, but alive.
She knew it.
The lake was a gray sprawl to her left, a mockery of the hell to be unleashed at any moment.
“Lorcan!”
They’d reached the heart of the battlefield, and Elide slowed Farasha enough to stand in the stirrups, biting down on the agony in her ankle. She had never felt so small, so inconsequential. A speck of nothing in this doomed sea.
Elide dropped back into the saddle, nudged the horse with her heels, and tugged Farasha farther toward the glittering silver expanse. He had to have gone to the lake.
The horse plunged into motion, her chest heaving like a mighty bellows.
On and on, black and golden armor, blood and snow and mud. The dam still held.
But there—
Elide yanked on the reins, slowing the charging horse.
There, not too far from the water’s edge, lay a patch of felled Morath soldiers. A swath of them. Not a single set of golden armor. Even where the khagan’s army had swept through, they had lost soldiers. The distribution across the battlefield had by no means been even, but there had been corpses in golden armor amongst the mass of black.
Yet here, there were none. No arrows or spears, either, to account for the felling of so many.
A veritable road of Valg demons flowed ahead.
Elide followed it. Scanned every corpse, every helmeted face, her mouth going dry. On and on, the wake of his destruction went.
So many. He had killed so many.
Her breath rasped in her throat as they neared the end of that trail of death, where golden bodies again began to appear.
Nothing. Elide halted Farasha. Gavriel had said he’d last seen him right here. Had he plunged behind their ally’s lines and moved on from there?
He might have walked off this field, she realized. Might currently be back at the keep, or in Oakwald, and she would have ridden here for nothing—
“Lorcan!” She screamed it, so loud it was a wonder her throat didn’t bleed. “Lorcan!”