It was sage advice. Sound advice.
Yet Manon gazed out over the battlefield, the sea of darkness just becoming visible. In an hour or so, the bone drums would beat again, and the screaming din of war would renew.
She could not stop. Would not stop.
“I am not resting.” Manon turned to seek out Bronwen in the Crochans’ quarters. She, at least, would not have such ridiculous notions. Even if Manon knew Glennis would side with Petrah.
Petrah sighed, the sound grating down Manon’s spine. “Then I shall see you on the battlefield.”
The roar and boom of war had become a distant buzz in Evangeline’s ears by midday. Even with the frigid wind, sweat ran down her back beneath her heavy layers of clothes as she made yet another sprint up the battlement stairs, message in hand. Darrow and the other old lords stood as they had these past two weeks: along the castle’s walls, monitoring the battle beyond the city.
The message she’d received, straight from a Crochan who had landed so briefly that her feet had hardly touched the ground, had come from Bronwen.
Rare, Evangeline had learned, for either the Ironteeth or the Crochans to report anything to the humans. That the Crochan soldier had found her, had known who she was … It was pride, more than fear, that had Evangeline running up the stairs, then across the battlements to Lord Darrow.
Lord Darrow, Murtaugh at his side, had already stretched out a hand by the time Evangeline slid to a stop.
“Careful,” Murtaugh warned her. “The ice can be treacherous.”
Evangeline nodded, though she fully planned to ignore him. Even if she’d taken a spill down the stairs yesterday that thankfully no one had witnessed. Especially Lysandra. If she’d glimpsed the bruise that now bloomed over Evangeline’s leg, the matching one on her forearm, she’d have locked her in the tower.
Lord Darrow read the message and frowned toward the city. “Bronwen reports they’ve spotted Morath hauling a siege tower to the western wall. It will reach us in an hour or two.”
Evangeline looked past the chaos on the city walls, where Aedion and Ren and the Bane fought so valiantly, out beneath the melee in the skies, where witches fought witches and Lysandra flew in wyvern form.
Sure enough, a massive shape was lumbering toward them.
Evangeline’s stomach dropped to her feet. “Is—is it one of those witch towers?”
“A siege tower is different,” Darrow said with his usual gruffness. “Thank the gods.”
“Still deadly,” Murtaugh said. “Just in a different way.” The old man frowned at Darrow. “I’ll head down there.”
Evangeline blinked at that. None—none of the older lords had gone to the front.
“To warn them?” Darrow asked carefully.
Murtaugh patted the hilt of his sword. “Aedion and Ren are stretched thin. Kyllian, too, if you want to keep telling yourself that he’s the one leading them.” Murtaugh didn’t so much as lower his chin to Darrow, who stiffened. “I’ll handle the western wall. And that siege tower.” A wink at Evangeline. “We can’t all be brave messengers, can we?”
Evangeline made herself smile, even though dread pooled in her. “Should—should I warn Aedion that you’ll be there?”
“I’ll tell him myself,” Murtaugh said, and ruffled her hair as he walked by. “Be careful on the ice,” he warned her again.
Darrow didn’t try to stop him as Murtaugh walked off the battlements. Slow. He looked so slow, and old, and frail. And yet he kept his chin high. Back straight.
If she’d been able to choose a grandfather for herself, it would have been him.
Darrow’s face was tight when Murtaugh disappeared at last.
“Old fool,” Darrow said, worry in his eyes as he turned to the battle raging ahead.
CHAPTER 101
Human no more.
Aelin’s breath rasped in her ears—her permanently arched, immortal ears—with each step back toward the camped army. Rowan remained at her side, a hand around her waist.
He hadn’t let go of her once. Not once, since she’d come back.
Since she’d walked through worlds.
She could see them still. Even walking in silence under the trees, the darkness yielding toward the grayish light before dawn, she could see each and every one of those worlds she’d broken through.
Perhaps she’d never stop seeing them. Perhaps she alone in this world and all others knew what lay beyond the invisible walls separating them. How much life dwelled and thrived. Loved and hated and struggled to claw out a living.
So many worlds. More than she could contemplate. Would her dreams forever be haunted by them? To have glimpsed them, but been unable to explore—would that longing take root?
Oakwald’s branches formed a skeletal lattice overhead. Bars of a cage.
As her body, and this world, might be.
She shook off the thought. She had lived—lived, when she should have died. Even if her mortal self … that had been killed. Melted away.
The outer edges of the camp neared, and Aelin peered down at her hands. Cold—that was a trace of cold now biting into them.
Altered in every way.
Dorian said as they approached the first of the rukhin, “What are you going to tell them?”
The first words any of them had spoken since they’d begun the trek back here.
“The truth,” Aelin said.
She supposed it was all she had to offer them, after what she’d done.
She said to Dorian, “I’m sorry—about your father.”
The chill wind brushed the strands of Dorian’s hair off his brow. “So am I,” he said, resting a hand atop Damaris’s hilt.
At his side, Chaol kept silent, though he glanced at the king every now and then. He’d look out for Dorian. As he always had, Aelin supposed.
They passed the first of the ruks, the birds eyeing them, and found Lorcan, Fenrys, Gavriel, and Elide waiting by the edge of the tents.
Chaol and Dorian murmured something about gathering the other royals, and peeled away.
Aelin remained close to Rowan as they approached their court. Fenrys scanned her from head to toe, nostrils flaring as he scented her. He staggered a step closer, horror creeping across his face. Gavriel only paled.
Elide gasped. “You did it, didn’t you?”
But it was Lorcan who answered, stiffening, as if sensing the change that had come over her, “You—you’re not human.”
Rowan snarled in warning. Aelin just looked at them, the people who’d given so much and chosen to follow her here, their doom still remaining. To succeed, and yet to utterly fail.
Erawan remained. His army remained.
And there would be no Fire-Bringer, no Wyrdkeys, no gods to assist them.
“They’re gone?” Elide asked softly.
Aelin nodded. She’d explain later. Explain it to all of them.
God-killer. That’s what she was. A god-killer. She didn’t regret it. Not one bit.
Elide asked Lorcan, “Do you—do you feel any different?” The lack of the gods who’d watched over them.
Lorcan peered up at the trees overhead, as if reading the answer in their entangled branches. As if searching for Hellas there. “No,” he admitted.
“What does it mean,” Gavriel mused, the first rays of sun beginning to gild his golden hair, “for them to be gone? Is there a hell-realm whose throne now sits vacant?”
“It’s too early for that sort of philosophical bullshit,” Fenrys said, and offered Aelin a half smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes. Reproach lay there—not for her choice, but in not telling them. Yet he still tried to make light of it.
Doomed—that lovely, wolfish grin might be in its final days of existence.
They might all be in their last days of existence now. Because of her.
Rowan read it in her eyes, her face. His hand tightened on her waist. “Let’s find the others.”
Standing inside one of the khagan’s fine war tents, Dorian held his hands out before a fire of his own making and winced. “That meeting could have gone better.”
Chaol, seated across the fire, Yrene in his lap, toyed with the end of his wife’s braid. “It really could have.”