***
The purchase of the Chicago building was finalized, and I was a happy man. Everything in my life at the moment was perfect. I missed Ellery, so I decided to have Denny pick me up before her. He pulled up to the building, and Ellery was waiting outside. She looked amazing standing there in black leggings, a long black sweater, and black high boots. She’s perfection, and she’s mine. Denny got out and opened the door for her. She slid in the seat and smiled when she saw me. I reached over and kissed her on the lips.
“Hey, baby, you look gorgeous,” I smiled.
“I thought we were meeting at your office,” she said.
“I missed you, and I couldn’t wait.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck as she kissed me. “I’m happy you’re here now because I couldn’t last another minute without you.”
As we were on our way to lunch, my phone rang. I pulled it out from my pocket, and it was Ashlyn.
I ignored the call and put my phone back in my pocket. Why the hell is she calling me?
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Ellery asked.
“No, it’s just Paul. We’re almost at the restaurant, so I’ll call him later.”
We had a great lunch and enjoyed some shopping afterwards. I bought Ellery some new clothes, and being the stubborn woman that she is, she tried to put up a fight when I paid for them, but I won that battle. We left the store and headed down the crowded street to a nearby Starbucks. We were walking hand in hand when I ran into Sarah.
“Hello, Connor. How are you?” she asked as she cocked her head.
“Sarah, I’m good. How have you been?” I nervously asked.
She eyed Ellery up and down, and her eyes instantly looked at our interlaced fingers. Sarah extended her hand to Ellery.
“Hi, I’m Sarah, a family friend of Connor’s,” she smiled.
“Hello, I’m Ellery, Connor’s girlfriend.”
Sarah looked at me for a moment and then again at Ellery. “Well it was nice seeing you again, Connor, and it was wonderful to meet you, Ellery,” she said. Sarah leaned into me and whispered in my ear, “She’s perfect for you.” She kissed me on the cheek, winked, and walked away. I let out a sigh of relief and squeezed Ellery’s hand. We started to walk, but Ellery abruptly stopped behind me.
I turned around and looked at her.
“I don’t ever want to know what you did with her or who she was to you,” she said.
“Ellery, she’s…” I started to say.
“Connor, she’s a family friend,” she smiled as she led me through the doors of Starbucks.
***
Thanksgiving had arrived, and we spent the day with my family. It was good to bring Ellery to the home I grew up in, and to meet my family. My mom and dad took to her immediately, as did my sister.
I didn’t know how to bring up Ellery’s illness. I was going to wait until after Thanksgiving when it was just my mom, dad, and Cassidy, but I didn’t have to wait thanks to Aunt Sadie. My mom always said that Aunt Sadie was born with a gift. I never believed it, and I just chalked it up to her being crazy. I walked in the entrance of the kitchen, and I overheard Aunt Sadie grilling Ellery about her cancer. Ellery was trying to explain to them about her first time when she was 16. She was very nervous. I felt bad for her, and it was my fault. If I would have told my family about it in the first place, Ellery wouldn’t be in this position.
I cleared my throat and walked over to Ellery. I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her on the head. “Her cancer came back recently, but she’s in a clinical trial in California, so everything is good at the moment. She’s doing fine, and she’s going to be fine, so there’s nothing more to discuss,” I said in an authoritative tone. Ellery pulled me out of the kitchen and into the hallway.
“How could you not tell me about your Aunt Sadie?” she asked furiously as she hit me in the chest.
“Ouch, Elle, that hurt.”
“That’s not the only thing that’s going to hurt, Connor Black.”
“Promise, baby?” I smirked.
“Ugh, you make me so mad!” she whispered as she turned the opposite way.
I wrapped my arms around her and whispered, “I’m sorry; I never took much stock in what Aunt Sadie had to say. I always thought she was kind of crazy.”
“Your family must think I’m a walking disaster of a human being, and they are probably wondering what the hell you’re doing with me.”
I squeezed her tight. “They love you; I can tell, and it doesn’t matter what they think about our relationship. I love you for all that you are, nothing less, and for the record, I think you’re a beautiful disaster.”
She laid her head back on my chest and looked up as I leaned down to kiss her. She bit my lip.
“That’s for the ‘beautiful disaster’ remark,” she said.
“Ouch, you really need to save this shit for the bedroom, Ellery; you have no idea how much you’re turning me on with all your hitting and biting.” She laughed, turned around, and licked my lip to soothe the sting.
Dinner was exceptional, and our family conversation was good. Ellery spent a great deal of time talking to my mother and Cassidy. Camden came up to me, took my hand, and led me to the floor to build blocks with him. All of a sudden, I heard my mom ask Ellery how we met. Panic washed over me as I feared Ellery would tell her about getting me home that night. I looked at her, and she gave me a smile that assured me that she wouldn’t tell. She told my mom that we met at a club. Ellery sat down on the floor next to me and Camden, and asked if she could help stack the blocks. Camden picked one up and handed it to her. Watching her interact with him told me she would make a wonderful mother.
How and when was I going to tell her that I can’t have kids?
When it was time to leave, we said our goodbyes to my family and started on the road back home.
“I love your family,” Ellery said as she grabbed my hand.
“They loved you too,” I smiled as I brought her hand to my lips.
“Do you really think so?” she asked nervously.
“Baby, I don’t think; I know.” She smiled as she laid her head on my shoulder.
***
Ellery was in the bathroom, washing her face as I was getting undressed. “I loved watching you with Camden today; it was so special and sweet.”
“Yeah, well he’s a pretty special kid,” I smiled.
“Watching you with him made me think of some things,” she said as she walked out of the bathroom and opened the dresser drawer for a nightshirt.
“What things?” I asked hesitantly.
“I don’t know; just how good you are with him and…”
I knew this was going to happen, and I tried to prepare myself ahead of time. I guess this was the time to tell her. I instantly cut her off. “I can’t have children, Elle; I took care of that many years ago.”
Her back was turned to me as she opened the drawer. The minute I spoke those words, she stopped what she was doing, and I saw her take a deep breath.
“Aren’t you going to respond to that?” I asked.
“Ok, why didn’t you tell me that before?” she asked as she turned around and looked at me.
“I don’t know, Elle. It just didn’t seem to ever be appropriate.”
“Was it because you thought I was going to die, and it didn’t matter if I never knew?” she spoke with pain in her voice.
I instantly felt sick at her words. “How could you say that?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, and anyway, I don’t want kids. With my f**ked up family genes the kid wouldn’t stand a chance,” she said as she turned and faced the window.
I closed my eyes for a second as she said that. It broke my heart for her to think that way. I walked over and put my arms around her, pulling her into me. “Don’t say things like that.”
“It’s the truth. My mother died of cancer, father was an alcoholic, and now me having cancer for the second time; think about it, Connor, the child would be doomed from the minute it was conceived.”
“You’re wrong, and I don’t want you talking like that ever again,” I said with anger.
She loosened herself from my grip. “Well, it doesn’t matter anyway because neither of us wants kids, so end of discussion.” I watched her as she walked over to the dresser across the room and grabbed the bottle of lotion.
“Does it bother you that I can’t have children?” I asked.
“No, and like I said, it’s for the best anyway, but I would like to know why you did it, Connor.”
I took in a sharp breath, “Do you really want to hear the answer to that, Elle?”
“Yes, I do, since we’re being honest and not keeping secrets.”
I swallowed hard because I was about to relive what I had already told her back in Michigan. Then all of a sudden, before I could get the words out of my mouth, Ellery spoke.
“Since you can’t say anything, let me say it for you. You were never going to fall in love, and that meant never having kids. So, why torture yourself with only experiencing half the pleasure every time you f**ked a woman when you could experience the whole natural pleasure and not have a worry in the world, except being ignorant about STD’s.”
My face fell, and anger grew inside of me. “I’m not even going to respond to something as f**ked up as that!” I yelled. “You’re pissed that I can’t have kids? Aren’t you the one who said she doesn’t believe in happily ever after and fairytale romances?!” I yelled at her across the room. She walked over to where her pants were and started to put them on.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” I yelled.
“I’m not staying here tonight; you’re a dick, and I don’t want to be near you right now.”
“I’m a dick?” I laughed. I can’t believe she thought I was being a dick when she started this argument.
“You’re the one being a bitch and overreacting about me not being able to have kids.”
“I’m a bitch because you didn’t tell me about this sooner?!” she yelled back.
Anger and darkness consumed me. “You really want to go there, Ellery, about not telling each other things?”
“I regretted that from day one, and you know it!” she yelled. “How dare you throw that in my face?!”
“Then, I guess we’re even!” I yelled. I was so angry at her for what she said. I needed some space to cool off. “Maybe it’s best you stay in the guest room tonight, till we both cool off.”
“I’m not staying in the guest room; I’m going home to my apartment that you so graciously call a box,” she said as she pointed her finger at me.
“Really, Ellery, you’re going to run?” I said as I waved my hand. “Why not; it’s what you do best anyway.”
She stormed out of the bedroom, and I just stood there. I didn’t go after her. She needed some time to cool off, and so did I. How could such a perfect day turn into such a nightmare? I let her go back to her apartment to sleep it off. I’ll head over there in the morning to get her and make things right.