I would know if I was pregnant.
You’ve been throwing up a lot.
That’s explainable.
You suffer from vertigo.
You. Are. Not. Pregnant.
My inner thoughts henpecked and argued, swinging between screaming for being so stupid, to planning how to kill myself just to get this nightmare over with.
Five minutes ticked past, and I still didn’t have the courage to look.
Go on.
Get it over with.
“Nila?”
Oh, my God, this couldn’t get any worse. What was my brother doing in my office? I locked the bloody door!
He has a key.
Two seconds later, he rapped his knuckles on the bathroom. “Threads? You okay?”
My throat closed up. I wanted the ground to fissure and swallow me.
“Nila, answer me. I’m worried about you.”
Swallowing back a sudden avalanche of tears, I pushed off from the wall to open the door.
Only the door swung wide, presenting my perfect brother in jeans and a white t-shirt. He looked as if he’d stepped off a runway, while I looked like a homeless ragamuffin.
His eyes went first to the damn pregnancy test in the vanity, then swung to me.
His dusky colouring went ashen; his eyes darkened. “Please. Please. Please tell me that animal didn’t fucking rape you.” Prowling forward, he seethed in the small space. His temper bounced off the tiles, ricocheting with violence. “Nila, tell me right now. Did that cocksucker fucking touch you?!”
I laughed. If only it had been that easy. That awful. I would have an excuse for my stupidity. This was all on me.
V’s lips twisted in horror as my laugh turned into a sob.
It wasn’t rape. It was glorious. It was everything I ever wanted and can never have again.
More tears erupted, giving way to the avalanche.
“Threads, hey. It’s okay. We can get you help.” Vaughn closed the distance and tugged me into his arms. “It’s okay, sis. Honest. I’ve got you.”
His concern was worse than his anger.
More tears.
More sobs.
I struggled. I didn’t want him touching me. Not when I didn’t know if I could live with myself. But his gentle warmth—so unlike Jethro’s frostiness—seeped into me. I sagged. I hadn’t let myself cry since the morning I’d been taken from Hawksridge. But now, I couldn’t stop.
I let it all go.
Somehow amongst my tears, I stuttered, “He—he didn’t ra—rape me, V.”
Just admitting I’d brought this on myself filled me with another wave of shame, of remorse.
V stiffened. His arms bunched as he pulled back, looking into my eyes. “What do you mean, he didn’t…” Understanding suddenly swamped his face. “Fuck, Nila! You slept with him?” Tearing his hands from me as if he were contaminated, he snarled, “You slept with that motherfucker—willingly?”
My tears dried up. I hung my head. “Vaughn, don’t.”
“Don’t?” He stormed to the vanity and swiped the pregnancy test into his fist. He shoved it in my face, hiding the viewing window so I couldn’t see if I’d just ruined my life by being impregnated with Hawk spawn.
“You slept with him unprotected!” He snorted. “Bet Tex will be so happy to know all his energy at keeping you sheltered was in vain. The first guy you’re around and you have to fucking screw him and get pregnant!”
“I don’t know if I’m pregnant yet!”
“Should we find out then?” He presented his palm, holding up the test. “I can’t believe you. God, Nila!”
I didn’t want to see.
I wanted to see.
The results were upside down.
V noticed at the same time I did. He rolled his fingers so the test bounced upright.
One little line.
One.
What does that mean?!
I quivered with terror. “The packet—what does the packet say?”
Vaughn looked behind him, returning to the vanity to pluck the discarded box from the bowl. Passing it to me, he threw the test into the bin and washed his hands. As he ran the water, it gave me time to figure out this mess, while he got a hold on his temper.
I flipped the box.
“Congratulations, you’re pregnant if you see two blue lines.”
Two.
I slithered into a puddle.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
V spun around, his face losing the angry glare and melting into regret. “It’s negative?”
I nodded.
No baby.
Suddenly, I didn’t know how I felt about that.
I eyed the rubbish bin. I couldn’t leave the test in there. I couldn’t run the risk of prying staff or my father jumping to conclusions.
The moment V left, I’d take it to the bin in the park opposite our factory.
He sighed. “I’m sorry, Threads. I was out of line.” He came by my side, sliding down the wall to wrap an arm around my shoulders. “You okay?”
I tilted my head, resting against his shoulder. He was so good to me. How could I resent him and Tex for saving me?
“Yes,” I whispered. “I’ll be fine.”
V squeezed me. “Talk to me, Threads. You haven’t said one word about what they did to you. Every time I bring it up, you change the subject.” Sighing again, he added, “If you don’t talk to me, you have to talk to someone. I can feel that you’re unhappy. I’m feeding off your vibes.” Nudging my shoulder with his, he smirked. “Twin link, remember? I could always tell if you were hurting.”
Something about what he said tickled my brain, trying to connect dots that I couldn’t follow.
“I’ll be okay soon. I promise.”
Let me mend my broken heart in peace.
He couldn’t know I’d fallen for Jethro—not after his campaign of death and destruction against the firstborn Hawk.
We sat there in silence for a few moments. V gave me quietness with no judgement, allowing me to put myself back together again. Slowly, my heart rate calmed, shoving away the panic.
V’s touch was like a butterfly, whispering sweetly over my shoulder. He’d always been so gentle with me—so different to the man I’d fallen for. Jethro had been anything but gentle. He’d whipped me, fucked me, and adored me in his own dark way.
He scarred me.
I flinched to think what Vaughn would do if he saw what existed beneath my teal blouse. The scars Jethro had painted me with from the First Debt blemished me forever. V wouldn’t be happy. Shit, I’d go so far as to say he’d tie up Jethro and give him the same punishment—only a lot harder.
Squeezing my eyes, I tried to push away those concerns. Vaughn would never know because I would never show him.
V stiffened, his fingers digging into my skin.
“What? What is it?” I shifted in his hold, peering into his eyes.
“Nothing. Forget it.”
I paused. Normally, if V had a thought, I could pick up on his idea. We were in tune with work, with life. But this time, I had no clue.
Pinching him, I said, “Come on. You can’t leave me hanging like that. Give me something else to think about other than this catastrophe.”
Vaughn shook his head, looking as if he wanted to tear the thought from his brain. “I—no, you don’t need to hear it.”
“And you don’t have to feel my sadness, yet you do.” Sitting up, I untangled his arm from around me. “Tell me.”
He sat taller, running a hand through his glossy black hair. “What if you had been pregnant?”
I froze. “What do you mean?”
He looked away. “This madness with the Hawks is over. The police are involved. The media know everything. You’re as safe as I could make you by telling everyone what I know. But…what if it’s not enough.”
Tremors captured my limbs. Jethro’s text came back to haunt me.
I’m coming for you.
“What do you mean?”
V looked at me, his eyes tight and grave. “What if you had his kid? What if you gave birth to a girl?”
My mind raced. “She’d be a firstborn girl. She’d suffer the same fate our mother and I did. I would never put her through that.”
V shook his head. “She’d be firstborn. She’d be a girl. She’d be a Weaver.” He leaned closer. “But she’d also be a Hawk.”
V’s epiphany changed everything.
I couldn’t stop thinking about alternatives, imagining an entirely different conclusion to the Debt Inheritance, to Jethro, to our future as enemies.
Jethro said he was coming for me.
I didn’t know when and I didn’t know how…but what if I let him?
What if I went back with him willingly? Instead of saving him and running, why not do something to end the debt completely? I could end this—like I’d promised my dead ancestors.
Would it work?
Would my scheming of seducing him over and over again until I became pregnant be abhorrent or justified?
Did it make me a terrible person to contemplate bringing another life into this madness—all in the hope of breaking the debts hold?