“I had a lot on my mind.” He replied and I struggled to keep my eyes from dancing over his muscular chest. I took another sip of my drink and sat it on the counter.
“I’m sorry about…everything last night”
“I hurt you and you apologize to me.” He laughed sardonically. “Emma, I am no good for you. I knew what I was doing the first moment I saw you. I should have stopped it. I shouldn’t have let it go this far.” His eyes burned into mine.
“I wanted you just as badly as you wanted me.” I replied quietly. He slammed his hands on the counter between us and leaned in closer to me. I jumped at the loud noise.
“I scare you. Good. Maybe now you will stay away from me.” He’s words cut through me like a knife. I could feel my eyes begin to water and I swallowed hard trying to keep them from falling.
“You don’t mean that.” I replied, stepping around the island.
“It’s for your own good, Emma.” He replied sadly. My stomach twisted into knots. I hated him with every fiber of my being. I wanted to run away from him and never look back, but I would have given anything for him to take me in his arms and hold me. I turned and made my way to the bathroom, crying silently to myself. I grabbed my clothes and pulled them on, not bothering to make sure I looked decent in the mirror.
When I came back into the main room Mr. Honor had finished dressing and was waiting by the door for me. I was thankful that I would not have to walk but I knew the car ride would be uncomfortable at best.
It was painful to sit on the seat and I had to angle my body to the side to bear the pain.
“Emma” William said quietly, noticing my discomfort.
“Don’t” I waved him off, trying desperately not to break down in front of him. The rest of the trip we rode in silence. I was angry with myself as I thought of all the things I had done the night before just to get a rise out of him. I pushed him even though I knew how upset I had made him.
We pulled up to the grocery store just down the street from my house. I opened my door, not waiting for him to put the car into park.
“Emma” William called after me but I did not turn around. I dug through my purse, trying to find my keys. I let go of the strap and it fell to the ground, spilling the contents everywhere.
“Shit, Emma” William said under his breath as he came over to me and began collecting my things. Hot tears stung my face and I held my breath trying not to sob aloud. “I’m just trying to protect you.” He said quietly as he ran the back off his fingers over my dampened cheek. He trailed his thumb over my lower lip, letting it linger for a moment before dropping his arm at his side.
“By hurting me,” I blurted out.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you. You didn’t use the safe word.” His voice trailed off as he made a look of disgust.
“I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about now.”
His eyes softened and I knew it was only a matter of seconds before he switched off his emotions again. It was something that was becoming all too familiar with.
“You deserve better.” With that, his look became hard and unreadable. I knew there was no reason to continue.
“What about the note. What if someone comes looking for me?” Trying to scare him into staying with me was not my best move, but I hoped it would at least make him realize that he cared for me.
“I will take care of that today.” I did not know what else to say. I had officially given up. I turned and got in my car, cranking the radio loudly. I pulled out and made my way out of the parking lot. William’s car sat unmoving in its spot. Maybe he did care about me. Maybe he was hurting as much as I was. I rolled my eyes at the thought and headed back to my house.
Chapter Twenty-Two
My Aunt’s house was empty and I was relieved that I would not have to explain to her why I was dressed like a three-dollar whore. I rolled my eyes cursing Becka for that. I locked the door behind me as the threatening note crossed my mind. How was he going to take care of it? Had the secretary admitted to writing it? A pang of jealousy came over me as I remembered Mr. Honor with her at the movies. I wondered how often they saw each other. I wondered if he had ever taken her to his place. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind as I made my way to my room. I slipped of the ridiculous clothing and grabbed one of my old favorite t-shirts. I glanced across my bed and my memories flashed to William and me. I felt that warm familiar tingling in my stomach, the way I had when he touched me. I sighed and grabbed my phone from my bag, pulling the door closed behind me. The first thing on my list of things to do was to get something to eat. I had not had anything since yesterday and I was beginning to feel shaky.
I grabbed a box of cereal and made my way into the living room. I clicked through the channels on the television, settling on the movie Fear. My mind was lost in my own memories when my phone lit up. I picked it up, hoping that it was William. The caller I.D. read Becka and I frowned, sitting the phone back on the arm of the chair. A few minutes later it buzzed letting me know I had a new voicemail. I was not in the mood to talk. I turned the television up and spent the next hour getting lost in the movie.
As the day slowly burned away, I made it a point to do things for myself. I began by painting my toenails and fingers a matching deep red. The pink bandage made me look like a walking Valentine’s Day advertisement so I slowly pulled off the pink gauze. My hand looked much better than it had. After I had finished my nails, I put on my favorite bikini I had bought when I first came to Florida. It was solid black with a ruffle across my bottom. I studied myself in the mirror, tugging the bottoms trying to cover the long welt marks that marred my backside. I ran my fingers over them. After a few moments, I managed to pull my thoughts from William and head outside. I lay out in the back yard on an oversized towel. The overwhelming warmth from the sun exhausted me and I fell asleep. Luckily, I awoke before burning myself. My skin had a pale pink hue to it and I was certain that it would be brown by morning.
I felt better as the day went on. Pampering myself always made me feel less sad after a hard day. I decided to top off my spa experience by soaking in the tub with a few candles and some slow music.
I filled the tub to with warm water and added some vanilla scented bubble bath. While it filled, I grabbed my phone and plugged it into a tiny radio so I could play some classical music as I relaxed. I could not find anything to light the candles so I settled for some battery powered ones that my Aunt had picked up at the mall. I lowered my body into the soothing water and let my mind drift off into relaxation. The problem was my thoughts immediately went to William. The smell of his skin, his sexy eyes, that devilish smile, every part of him drew me in and left me wanting more of him. I closed my eyes and let the music take over. The sad slow melody of the piano filled the room and I was able to let it all go.
After the water began to cool, I reluctantly pulled myself from the small tub feeling refreshed and less worried about the situation. I made my way into my bedroom to change into something more comfortable. I pulled on a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top and decided a book would finish off the evening nicely. I picked out an old romance novel that I had bought at the local bookstore a few months back, but had never made time to read. As the pages passed I felt my heart growing heavier. As much as I tried to escape what I was feeling, the words in the book touched a nerve inside of me. I spent the rest of the evening crying quietly alone until I fell asleep, exhausted by my own sadness.
The next morning I decided that as much as I wanted to stay home and sulk I could not pass up the opportunity to see him. He had taken over my thoughts and had become an addiction that I needed to feed. I took extra care to make sure my hair was perfectly straight and my makeup was just enough to show him what he was missing. I drove to school in silence. I was so wrapped up in having to actually look William in the eye I did not even realize the radio was not on.
My workout was actually quite bearable. Jeff was not around today and I was thankful I did not have to talk about our time at the club. He was a nice guy, but I wasn’t attracted to him in the least.
As the day went on, I realized that several of my books were missing. It dawned on me that I had left them in Mr. Honor’s car the entire weekend. My nerves were on edge as I sat through lunch listening to Claire and Becka rave about their weekend in the clubs. I picked at my food, never actually taking a bite.
“I still can’t believe Jeff wrecked his car. He is lucky to be alive.” Becka said sadly.
“That’s what he gets for drinking and driving.” Claire chimed in. I rolled my eyes remembering how they passed the liquor around the car that very night.
As the bell rang, I sat frozen in my seat, not sure if I could go to his class. I wanted more than anything to see him but I was scared of his reaction. Sitting through an entire period without him so much as glancing my way would devastate me.
“Come on, you’re going to be late.” Becka said cheerfully as she looped her arm in mine and pulled me from the seat. I dumped my lunch tray and made my way down the hall to Mr. Honor’s class. I stood outside as everyone filed in. I glanced through the doorway to see Mr. Honor leaning against the front of his desk. His eyes met mine and for a moment, time froze. I held my breath and stared at him. He wore a dark black button up shirt that made his blue eyes glow. A male student walked up to him and got his attention. I took a deep breath and slinked inside. I noticed a small stack of books on my desk and could not help but smile. I sat down and fidgeted with my pen, not wanting to look up at him. He began to speak asking random questions about the chapter he had assigned for us to read over the weekend. I let my mind wander as I chewed on the end of my pencil.
“Emma…Emma!” William called and I glanced up to see the entire class staring at me.
“What” I asked, sounding more irritated than I intended.
“Who exacted punishment on the rebels of the North of England reffered to as ‘The Harrying of the North’?” His eyes burned into mine and the entire class sat silent, waiting for my response.
“William the Conqueror.” I blurted out, thinking of his text messages to me. He smiled at our own private joke.
“That is correct Ms. Townsend.” His lips curved up in a devilish grin. My heart leaped into my thoat. “Good girl” I nearly melted out of my seat into a puddle on the floor. Those words had a direct connection to the naughtiest of places on my body. I bit my lip as my cheeks burned pink. His eyes narrowed and I quickly let my lip free. He moved on to other questions and the conversation blurred in my mind. William had a way of taking over my every thought. The bell rang, ending the class in what seemed like record time. I reluctantly moved on to my next class, wishing I could spend his free period alone with him. I spent the rest of the day fantasising about going back and being bent over his desk again. I couldn’t ignore his rejection. I sucked it up and managed to make it to all of my classes. I refused to humiliate myself.
When the day ended I was overcome by sadness. I did my best to have ‘girl talk’ with Claire and Becka, but eventually they made their way to their cars and I was left sitting alone in the parking lot. My phone vibrated, jarring me from my self loathing.
You are incredibly beautiful, even when you’re sad.
I smiled, then suddenly realized I was being watched. I refused to look around.
Is that why you broke my heart?
I sat waiting for what felt like an eternity for his response.
I would give anything to take back all of the pain I have caused you.
Some of the pain we enjoyed.
I bit my lip and waited patiently for his response.
Go home Emma.
I glanced over at Mr. Honor’s car. Angela, the school secretary, was standing by his door and he had gotten out to talk to her. Jealousy consumed my thoughts.
Now!
He texted again. I put the car into drive and sped out of the parking lot. My vision quickly blurred by my tears. As much as I hated to admit it, I couldn’t hate this man so much if I didn’t love him.
Slow down.
His text sent anger coarsing through my veins. As the light at the end of the lot turned green I stepped on the gas as hard as I could. I drove over to Becka’s house to grab the clothes I had left over the weekend. She wanted me o stay longer but the thought of being around anyone else right now didn’t sound appealing. I made up an excuse about having to be home for dinner, even though I was pretty sure that my Aunt wouldn’t even be home.
Chapter Twenty-Three
As predicted my driveway sat empty as I pulled in. I parked inside the garage and made sure I locked the door behind me as I entered my home. I set my books on the table and walked back the hall to my room. I opened my bedroom door and stood in the doorway, unable to move my feet.
“So you enjoy the pain?” William asked, his blue eyes flashed to mine and he had the hint of smile. “Close the door.” He said in a low, commanding tone. I stepped inside and pushed the door closed behind me, leaning back against it. “If Angela knew about you, she isn’t going to say or do anything about it.” He said confidently. He read the look of confusion on my face and answered my unspoken question. “She’s married. The last thing she wants is for her husband to find out she likes f**king other men.” His words stabbed me. I had been hoping that William had never gotten that far with her. I looked down at the ground, biting my lip. “She wasn’t really my type. I like my woman all to myself.” He walked towards me and put his fingers on my chin, tipping my head up to meet his gaze. My heart began to thud in my chest. “Breathe Emma.” I drew in a quick breath as I steadied myself against the door. Every emotion imaginable was flooding through me and it left my head swimming in dizziness. He slowly ran his finger along the line of my jaw, as his other hand slid down my waist. His fingers glided over my hip bone and down my thigh. He stopped underneath of my knee, pulling my leg up suddenly next to him and leaning in hard against me. As his face moved closer he brushed passed my mouth to my earlobe. “I miss the taste of you on my lips.” All of the strength left my body and if he wasn’t pressed so tightly against me I would have melted onto the floor. I let out a low heavy breath in his ear and I felt his body respond against me. He rested his forehead against mine, his thumb tracing my lower lip. I slipped my tongue out, gently touching it to the tip of his finger. A small moan escaped his lips and he pushed his finger back against my mouth. I opened wider, letting his finger slip inside as I gently swirled my around it. His mouth ran open along my face. “I should go.”