I was too damaged to ever be anything to anybody else. I barely knew Emma but she had awakened feelings in me I hadn’t known I was still capable of having. I couldn’t ever be that person again. I wanted to be that person again. I grabbed my phone and scrolled through the contacts. I hit the call button and waited for an answer.
“William, what are you doing? You can’t call me this late.” Angela’s hushed panicked tone brought me back to reality. She wasn’t concerned about how I was feeling. She didn’t get butterflies at the sound of my voice. I was nothing to her. The feeling was mutual. I hung up the phone and tossed it on the couch. I needed to get out of this f**king place.
I grabbed my keys and some cash and made my way downstairs to my car. I needed to regain control of myself. I needed to be reminded of what I was. I drove across town to the edge of the city. In a seedy strip mall that had long been forgotten to most, a few cars dotted the parking lot. I whipped behind the building and parked my car. As I walked across the dark lot, I hit the lock on my car and walked inside. The main lobby was dimly lit and three woman sat on their heels, heads bowed in a row by the front desk.
“Mr. Honor. What a pleasure to see you, Sir.” The husky redhead behind the desk greeted me. I nodded politely as my eyes danced over the kneeling women.
“The usual Sir?” She asked and my eyes shot up to meet hers. I nodded and made my way back the dimly lit corridor. I was in my element. I felt whole again inside these walls. I stopped in front of door three. A bulb glowed red just above the frame. I took a deep breath and stepped inside. I quickly unbuttoned my shirt and slid it off, draping it over a bench it the corner, followed by my under shirt. I slipped off my shoes and socks and slid them under the bench as well. I was ready. The door opened a few minutes later and a small framed brunette slipped inside. I immediately dropped to my knees; resting on my heels.
“Good boy.” She praised me. I took a deep breath and relaxed. My life thrived on having control and when I felt lost I handed that control over to someone else. It was therapeutic.
She walked around me, her finger running along my shoulders. She traced the lines of the tribal tattoo that wound its way down my arm. “You know what makes a good master, William?” She asked as she made her way to the front of me. I didn’t answer, didn’t look up at her. “You may respond.” I took a deep breath and thought about her question.
“I don’t think I know anymore.” I replied honestly. She bent over and grabbed my chin in her hand, jerking it up towards her.
“Respect” She said simply and let go of my face. She walked over to the shackles that hung from the corner of the room. “Come” She said. I rose to my feet and stared at the floor as I made my way to her. She grabbed my left arm and locked it into place above my head. “You respect me as your Mistress and give me control over you.” She grabbed my other arm and raised it above my head. “I respect you and would never do anything to you that you don’t want.” She continued as she clicked the cuff into place. “Not everyone will understand this lifestyle, William and not everyone is cut out for it.” She explained as she undid the buckle of my belt and slowly pulled it towards her. She leaned in closer so I could feel her breath on my ear. “You are.”
For the next hour, she taunted and teased me until I remembered what it was like to have full control even when I was powerless at the hands of another. Our sessions never went any further than that. She would push me to the brink of pleasure without ever letting me fall over the edge. I felt renewed and as if I had a better grasp on whom I was again. Seeing things from a sub’s perspective made me a better dom.
Chapter Six
I awoke as a new man. I got up and made my way to the gym on 32nd Street to start my morning. I had made my mind up that this evening, after work, I would start taking applications for a new official sub. I had tried my hand in the dating world but it was more of a hassle than anything else. I was still holding a lot of resentment towards Abby and just didn’t have the right mentality for anything other than a dom/sub relationship. Emma had officially been removed from my every waking thought. So had Angela for that matter. At least, that is the lie I told myself.
I ran through the showers in the locker room and headed over the bistro on the corner for some breakfast. I placed my order with the petite blonde waitress. There was nothing extraordinary about her. She was attractive, yes, but looked exhausted. Still, something about her caught my eye. As she tipped her head to fill my mug with coffee, I realized who she was. She was much different not kneeling naked in the middle of a lobby, but I was certain it was her. When she glanced back at me her cheeks where pink and I knew that she had recognized me as well.
“Thank you.” I said as she finished.
“You are welcome, Sir.” She replied with a wicked grin and turned to make her way behind the counter. Maybe I wouldn’t have to go through an application process after all.
Chapter Seven
I made my way to work early. I needed to see Emma and reassure myself that I felt nothing for her. She triggered something inside me that I still hadn’t worked through with Abby. That was it. That is what I told myself all morning. I also wanted to gauge her reaction towards me after the scene at the movies. I wanted to know that she didn’t care.
Angela was trying her hardest to corner me so we could talk. There was nothing to talk about. I couldn’t give her what she needed and she couldn’t give me what I needed. I wasn’t even sure myself what that was.
When it was finally time for Emma’s class, I sat at my desk, twirling my ruler out of habit. I watched the class slowly fill and there was no sign of her. For a moment, I had thought she was running late so I could keep her after class. I quickly pushed that thought aside. I eventually had to start the lesson. My stomach was twisting in knots. I just wanted to know she was okay. I decided I was going to skip out of the last few classes of the day. I needed more time. My head still wasn’t right and Emma, present or not, was f**king me up beyond repair.
As I stepped inside the office my eyes first locked on to Angela’s who was blushing and twirling her hair as she saw me. I smiled at her politely, all too aware of the smell of flowers that consumed the air around us. Emma. There was no escaping her. I made small talk with Angela and quickly turned to leave the office.
“You missed my class. Come see me after you are finished,” I said, locking eyes with Emma. My gaze dropped to the pink bandage around her arm. I knew if she came to my class that she understood what was going to happen. Part of me hoped she hated me and didn’t show. Just then, a light knock rattled through the door.
“Come in.” I called. Emma opened the door and walked inside. I began removing my button up shirt, leaving on my black undershirt. I folded it and laid it over the back of my chair. “What happened?” I asked, glancing down at her bandaged hand.
“I had an accident.” She replied nervously, biting her lip. If she didn’t want this she would have ran by now. She was screaming for discipline, for someone to take control in her life.
“I saw you at the theater yesterday. That was…,” I said as my eyes danced up and down her body.
“Awkward” She replied, finishing my sentence. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Unexpected” I corrected her. Another lie. “Ms. Townsend, do you remember what I said about being late to my class?” I asked, sitting down on the edge of my desk and waited for her response. After a moment, I gestured for her to come closer. She sat her books on a desk in the front row.
“I’m really sorry. It has been a crazy morning and…” She began to explain. I had no tolerance for excuses. I grabbed her quickly and bent her body over my desk. I brought my open hand down hard across her backside. Before she could protest, I brought it down again. I leaned over her, covering her body with mine.
“Shh…You need discipline.,” I whispered as I gently rubbed her backside. She relaxed underneath me. I took a moment to get control over my breathing. I stood upright again and smacked, this time harder. “You have no self-control.” I continued. She gripped onto the edge of the desk as I continued to punish her. She was enjoying herself. “You need someone to teach you how to be a good girl. Someone to punish you when you are bad.” I was struggling not to come at the very thought of f**king her. No one has ever made me feel so out of control while being completely in control. Fuck. I rubbed gently over her where I had stuck. She pushed back against my hand as I let my fingers dip between her legs. She wanted more. I smacked her one last time. She was panting heavily as she lay sprawled out across my desk. She was beautiful.
“Get to class.” I panted. She lay still for another moment. I circled the desk and began putting back on my shirt. After a moment, she regained her composure and stood upright. I came back around and grabbed her books, holding them out to her. She took them, unable to look me in the eye and left the room as quickly as she could. I sat down on the edge of my desk to catch my breath. I was wrong. There was no forgetting about Emma. She has pushed her way into every fiber of my being and I couldn’t get enough of her.
Chapter Eight
Everything that had happened over the last few days had evaporated. My thoughts are consumed with Emma. I promised myself I wouldn’t touch her. I promised myself I wouldn’t hurt her but now it was inevitable. I completely lost control of myself and it felt incredible and heart breaking at the same time. I had already forgotten my last lesson. Respect. If I respected Emma I would have let her live her life free of me.
I made my way down the hall to leave for the day, lost in my own guilty thoughts.
“William!” Angela called from just outside of the office.
“Fuck” I cursed under my breath. “Not a good time, Angela.” I said, checking my watch to show her I was in a hurry.
“It will only take a minute. Let me walk you to your car.” She joined my side and we continued out to the parking lot. “Look, I’m sorry about the other night.” She began. My eyes quickly followed the scent of flowers that filled the air. Emma was perched on the curb, leafing through her textbooks.
“Don’t be sorry.” I said coldly. I didn’t care. Angela didn’t even register on the scale of things I gave a shit about. Right now, all I wanted to know is why Emma was sitting on the curb looking sad and forgotten. Where was her car? Had she wrecked it? Is that how she injured her arm?
“I don’t want you to be angry with me, William.” Angela looked genuinely concerned about my feelings. Too little, too late.
“I am fine. All good things must come to an end.” I said and kissed her lightly on the cheek. She stared at me for a moment, her expression blank. She struggled to regain her composure before she smiled and ducked inside of her car. I waited for her to pull out before heading back across the lot towards Emma who was deeply engrossed in her book.
“No ride?” I asked, startling her.
“My Aunt is hit and miss when it comes to responsibility.” She looked like she wanted to say more, but stopped short. She lives with her aunt? I wanted to know more. Where were her parents? Why wasn’t she driving? What the f**k did she do to her arm?
“I never miss.” Her green eyes burnt into mine. Her looking up at me was a sight to behold. Come on. I’ll take you home.” I turned and made my way back across the lot. I didn’t give her a chance to think about it. I wanted to be alone with her so I could find out more.
I opened the door for her and took her books. She looked like she was questioning whether or not to go with me. Part of me wished she would have said no. That’s right. Run the other way. She didn’t run. She slipped delicately into the front seat. I threw her books onto the back seat and slid in beside her. I was getting in way too deep with her and I knew it.
I sped out of the parking lot, trying to place as much distance between us and prying eyes as possible. As we reached the light, I realized she wasn’t wearing her seatbelt. Thoughts of her injured arm and missing vehicle filled my head. I leaned over her, inhaling the delicious scent of flowers as I grabbed the seatbelt and pulled it across her body.
“Wouldn’t want you to get hurt.” I had to smirk at those words coming from my mouth after I had bent her over my desk and spanked her. “What happened?” I asked glancing down at her pink bandage.
“Long story” She replied, averting my gaze. I had no patience for games. I was already pissed enough that I even cared.
“What happened?” I asked again, this time with irritation in my voice. I was not asking, I was demanding a response. She sighed heavily.
“I drank a little last night. I knocked down a picture and accidentally cut myself trying to clean up the mess.” She explained holding up her hand. “No big deal.” Her words dripping with sarcasm. I whipped the car to the side of the road and before she could say anything, I had unbuckled my seatbelt and was facing her. A bee drawn to the sweet nectar of a flower. My mouth hovered over hers as her breathing quickened.
“Do not talk to me like that. It pisses me off and you don’t want to see what I do when I am pissed off.” I was beyond angry. I stared at her for a long moment before gently running the pad of my thumb against her cheek and down over her bottom lip. I couldn’t be angry with her. There was a million things I could be with her, anything she wanted. “You don’t want this.” I whispered quietly, warning her.
“Yes I do.” She whispered. I slipped my hand along her neck and back into her long thick hair. I couldn’t help myself. I needed to feel her.
“You don’t have any idea what you are getting yourself into.” I replied. She licked her lips and let them slowly part. I had no control over myself any longer.