Calm the fuck down.
It took a few minutes, but my breathing and heart rate came back to normal. I wished I could have said the same for my brain. It was on overdrive, trying to think of every possible scenario as to where Rachel could be.
Was she testing me? Just the thought of that sent another wave of anger through me.
The clock read a little after two p.m. The pizza I ordered would be here any minute and then, after I’d gotten rid of the hangries, I’d go over to her house and make her see that I loved her. I’d hold a goddamned boom box over my head if that was what it took.
Yeah. That’s what I’d do. I’d blare “Skinny Love” and let her be blown away that I still remembered her favorite movie and our favorite song…as soon as I figured out where the fuck to get a boom box.
The doorbell rang, rescuing me from my lame romantic plans, and I headed for the pizza that would save me from any more hunger-based dementia.
I grabbed a pen on my way so I could sign the receipt and opened the door. “Hey, there…” My mouth dropped to the floor. “Rachel?”
She looked edible in her jeans that were slightly ripped at the knee and vintage tee. “You live here?”
“Yeah,” I said quietly, more stunned that she’d shown up to find me than the fact that she’d discovered the last secret I’d kept from her. “How did you know?”
“Wilder,” she said, tucking her thumbs in her jeans.
“Right.”
She looked at me expectantly. “Are you going to invite me in?”
I shook the cobwebs from my brain. “Yeah, of course.” I opened the door to its full width, and she stepped inside, her eyes sweeping over the space and no doubt cataloging the changes I’d made in the last couple of years.
“They told me I had to find someone to take over the lease or pay the full year,” she said, her voice quiet.
“Your dad called me. I told him I’d take care of it.”
“He assumed you’d paid the lease fee.”
“He assumed a lot of things about me. Most of them were wrong.”
“Yeah, I’m picking up on that now,” she said as she walked into my kitchen—her kitchen—and ran her hand along the island counter. “These were Formica. And the apartment ended at that wall.” She pointed to the wall my flat screen hung on.
“I bought the building. It’s what I used that extra money for. Then I knocked a couple of the other units out.”
Her eyes were wide, but she simply nodded. “I like the granite.”
“You said you always wanted dark granite and white cabinets. But I remembered how much you loved the layout, so I didn’t change it.”
She leaned back against the island and looked up at me as I assumed the same position against the opposite counter. “I didn’t stand you up.”
“Didn’t you?”
“I didn’t mean to,” she clarified. “We had this thing last night, and Mom turned off my alarm. I made the mistake of launching into them before I clarified my plans for the morning.”
“That happens when you’re confronting your parents about the secrets they keep.”
“Familiar with that, are you?” she teased.
“I watch a lot of Dr. Phil,” I admitted.
She outright laughed, and then her smile faded. “You missed the Big Air qualifications.”
I shook my head and pointed to the TV. “I didn’t miss them. I’m watching them right now.” Hell, I’d miss the actual round I was slated for if it meant I got to keep her.
She swallowed, her eyes softening. God, that look…it gave me all kinds of hope, and that felt more dangerous than any trick I’d ever pulled. “That’s not what I meant,” she said.
“I know.”
“Wilder’s pissed.”
“Wilder’s pissed when anything doesn’t go his way.” But my anger was diminishing with every breath I took, just knowing she was here.
She bit into her lower lip, and I crossed the distance between us. I gently pressed my thumb to her chin, urging her teeth to let go of the tender flesh.
“You stayed,” she whispered.
“I did.”
“You chose me.”
“I always will.”
She smiled, and my heart pounded, demanding things I was slightly scared to go for. I wanted her in my arms, her mouth on mine, her love and heart mine to claim. But more than that—I wanted her to want the same thing.
“Because you love me,” she said.
“Because I love you,” I promised.
“Good,” she said. “Because I’m so in love with you that it hurts.”
She leaned up for a kiss, and I moved away, even though it almost killed me to do it. “But do you trust me?” That was what it would always come down to between us, and as much as I wanted Rachel—needed her—I needed her trust more.
She met my gaze head-on, her eyes clear and steady. “With my life.” She swallowed. “Enough that I had Dad extend a sponsorship offer to the Renegades.”
Goddamn, I loved this girl. “You’re not scared that I’m just using you for it? That I’ll leave the minute he offers me more money?”
She shook her head. “I’m not. And I had him make the offer before I knew you hadn’t left.” She looked up at the light I knew she’d broken her arm trying to change. “Before I realized that you’d always loved me.”