The orgasm had made me boneless, but his words melted me. “Landon…”
“You can’t say them yet. I’m okay with that. I’m okay with waiting, because the first time I slide inside you, you’ll love me. You’ll know that I’m not going anywhere, that you’re my choice and my first priority. And until you know that, I’m not doing this, no matter how badly I want to.”
“Seriously?”
“Very seriously. Besides, I know our pull—our chemistry—but you can’t tell me that part of this wasn’t to see if I’d lose interest after I got you back under me, and that’s not how this is going to happen.”
My mouth snapped shut. “How…?”
His smile made him even more beautiful, even as pained as it was. “I think I know you pretty well by now. I tell you I’m done fucking around, you spook and take off your clothes to test me.”
“You took off my clothes,” I grumbled.
“Semantics.”
“It wasn’t all a test,” I admitted.
“I know that, too, which is what makes it that much harder to tell you no.”
“So you’re not going to touch me until I can say…that?” God, I couldn’t even think those words. Those words—whether or not they lurked in my heart—opened the door and handed him the match to burn me down.
His grin turned wicked. “I’ll touch you whenever you like. I’ll make you come thirteen different ways every single day if that’s what you want. But I’m not making love to you until it’s that. I’ve waited too long to get you back in my bed to just have sex with you, Rach.”
I looped my arms around my knees, simultaneously frustrated, turned on, and stupidly moved by his words. The Landon I knew would have taken me any way he could get me. Nova would have done it without blinking and walked away in the morning. This patient, determined guy…hell if I knew what to do with him.
“So what now?” I asked.
“Now we sleep,” he said, pulling back the covers and sliding underneath. “Unless you want a second round?”
My mouth opened and shut like a fish out of water. Of course I wanted a second round. But I wanted him inside me, with me, not just orchestrating my pleasure. I wanted his, too.
I had two possible courses of action.
I could crawl in next to him, curl into his arms, and sleep…
Or I could slide on top of him and test just how firm his resolve was.
But that slight pleading in his eye told me more than his words. So did the tiny dots of perspiration on his forehead. If he was willing to put himself through this in order to prove himself to me, then I could at least not make it hell on him.
I cursed as I found my panties, then slid them and my tank top on before sliding under the covers with him.
“Sleep,” I said.
“Sleep,” he repeated, pulling me into the curve of his body.
For every inch I gave him, every part of me that relaxed into him, there was a part of me banging even harder against the bars to flee.
I just wish I knew which one would be stronger.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Landon
At Sea
She was going to be the death of me. I’d never been this turned on for this long since…ever. I hadn’t planned that night in the bungalow. Not that I regretted it. Hell no.
How the hell could I regret any moment that I had my hands on Rachel, her breath in my ear, her tight body under mine, my name on her lips?
And shit, now I was hard again.
It was like a permanent fucking condition lately—especially the last three days since we left Papua.
She walked into class? Hard.
Sat next to me? Hard.
Looked my way? Bit her damn lip? Brushed against me in the hallway? Hard.
Said my name? Answered a question in class? Took a swim in the pool?
Fuck my life. It was like I was fifteen again.
I relished every second of it, except maybe the cold-ass showers.
I wasn’t stupid—I was well aware that she was scared, testing the hell out of me, waiting to see if I’d finally give in and sleep with her, or if I’d fuck someone else. I saw it in the way she constantly watched my reactions, the way she pressed against me, kissed me, gave me every out in the book for this relationship.
She didn’t trust me—didn’t trust herself.
Part of her wanted me to fail.
The other girls who hung around weren’t an issue. I’d lost the desire to touch anyone else the moment Rachel appeared on board. Everything else felt shallow, cheap, and I was more than willing to wait for her as long as she needed.
“Hey, Nova,” Zoe said as I walked into my suite. She was stretched out on our couch with two other girls in string bikinis, and from the look of those Solo cups and rum bottles, they’d been drinking awhile.
“Hey, Zoe,” I said, heading to my room to drop my bag.
Of course she followed me. I turned to find her lounging on the doorframe, her long, lithe figure draped to showcase its best attributes. “Long day?” she asked.
I shrugged. “Not really. A good workout, a couple classes. What about you?”
“Oh, the same. I actually helped Pax out with some stuff for Nick, then I grabbed lunch up on deck twelve…”
“Okay?” I knew she was leading into something.
“Oh, it’s probably nothing, but I saw your girlfriend eating with someone.” Her sweet smile didn’t fool me. I also didn’t bother to correct her. I was perfectly fine with everyone in the world calling Rachel my girlfriend. It was Rachel who objected.