Chapter 22 – Please Don’t Casually Fall For Me
Translated by: TaffyGirl13, Zaza
Edited By: Rango
TLCed By: Shiroyukineko
Shiro: I have confirmed that this manga is more of a gag than shounen. Enjoy~
The bright-eyed thief mumbled “ridiculous” and brushed away Yue Yang’s hand. She then stood up and turned to leave.
“How is this ridiculous? A man and a woman’s romantic passionate love is the most meaningful thing in the world.” Yue Yang quickly chased after her, hot on her tail. At the same time, he laughed, “Brother, don’t feel embarrassed. If you don’t know anything about skills in bed, I can teach you. Even though I don’t qualify as being that experienced, we can slowly research the topic together…. If you have anything to say, let’s talk it through… Don’t take out your dagger.”
The bright-eyed thief was fuming with anger, and she began to quickly move.
With a whirl of her hand, the dagger flashed in front of Yue Yang.
Yue Yang stared at the dagger held up against his throat, and meekly raised his two hands up into the air, indicating his surrender.
“Get lost! I’m not the same type of person as you.” The bright-eyed thief was trying hard to suppress her urge to kill the brat, as she coldly squeezed out the words through her teeth.
“No way? You don’t like women?” Yue Yang said with an extreme expression, “Could you possibly be the legendary chi chi man?”
“What chi chi man?” The bright eyed thief asked in confusion.
“In this world, people are split into ‘attackers’ and ‘defenders’. The attackers are responsible of sowing the seeds, which is arduous work. On the other hand, the defenders are just in charge of moaning in pleasure. This is a comfortable and terrific job…..Aiya, don’t hit me.” Yue Yang hadn’t even finished his words before he had been punched in the face by the bright-eyed thief.
“Let me warn you now, if you see me in the future, you’d better keep your distance. Otherwise, I’ll kill you.” The bright-eyed thief said indignantly. However, Yue Yang had to admit that this fellow’s angry appearance was quite attractive.
There were people like this in the world; no matter whether they were laughing or fuming, their appearances were still extremely attractive.
Everyone couldn’t help but to like them.
On the other hand, there were some people that were the complete opposite. No matter whether they were happy or angry, their appearances were always extremely disgusting. People would have no other option but to vomit at their sight. If one looked at their appearance for too long, they’d have the urge to go bang their heads into the wall and kill themselves.
Yue Yang felt that this bright-eyed thief was the former type of person, and one that people would only like more and more. When he saw the bright-eyed thief get angry, he wasn’t afraid of her; instead, he smiled even more brightly and said, “Don’t worry, I’ll hide far away. Otherwise, I’m afraid that a man-lover like you will fall in love with me.”
The bright-eyed thief originally wanted to send Yue Yang flying with a kick and then leave, but after she heard his words, she immediately began to question the the brat’s sanity.
“What did you say? I’ll end up falling in love with you?” The bright-eyed thief repeated, as if she was unable to believe her own ears.
“Of course, such an outstanding and handsome man like me is welcomed by both beautiful men and women. But please take note: although I am loved by everyone, I only like beautiful women. I have no interest towards beautiful men, so please do not fall for me.” Yue Yang, nose high up in the air, praised himself complacently.
“….” The bright-eyed thief almost fell flat on her face from hearing these words.
She had met narcissists before, but it was her first time meeting one on a level this high.
Even the White Stone City’s walls were like a piece of paper compared to his thick skin. The bright-eyed thief felt that even if all the narcissists in the world were combined into one person and compared to this brat, their narcissism would not even reached a tenth of this brat’s.
The bright-eyed thief was secretly glad that she wasn’t a narcissist. Otherwise, she would have probably felt completely inferior to the brat in front of her and killed herself with her own dagger…
Heaven knows how there could be such an abnormal existence in this world.
That’s right, aside from abnormal, there was no other way to accurately describe the extremely narcissistic, pervert minded fellow standing right in front of her, who currently wore a large grin across his face.
“Although many beautiful men have confessed to me before, my heart can only be taken by beautiful women for eternity.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t ever like an outstanding toad like you, especially not for eternity.” The bright-eyed thief sneered at Yue Yang and referred to him as a toad that had wished to eat a swan’s meat, indulging in his wild fantasies.
“I feel relieved then, brother. I have always worried about this problem. Now it’s all good, it turns out that you don’t actually like men. Just like me, you like beautiful women. Hu, now that I’ve finally relieved myself from this pressure since I know that you like women, not men, then everything’s fine. This is great; we have a common language and common tastes. Come come come, let’s go on an adventure together. I, who was extremely knowledgeable about girls and multi-talented, had always wanted to write a book to demystify a girl’s mysteries and guide millions of lost youths in this world. I was just missing a companion.” Yue Yang patted his chest, and exaggerated how his worried heart had finally been reassured. He then intimately twined his arms on the bright-eyed thief’s shoulder, as if he had finally found a fellow enthusiast to accompany him on his battles.
“I say, a knowledgeable and multi-talented person like you should be able to complete your book about girls’ mysteries on your own. I have things to do, so I won’t be accompanying you.” The bright-eyed thief smiled coldly, having great disdain for the self-proclaimed knowledgeable and multi-talented fellow, thinking that this brat really had nothing but perverted thoughts in his mind.
“It seems that you doubt my genuine talent. Brother, you’ve completely misunderstood. If you could just understand even 1% of the boundless knowledge I have, I believe that you will be completely captivated by my profoundness. Before, I was just worried that you would love me despite my male gender, and so for the sake of preserving our relationship as friends, I didn’t reveal my inner depth. Do you understand now? Brother, did you really think I was just a normal person? No, I’m a genius.” Yue Yang’s words were just a bit short of literally writing the word genius on his forehead.
“You are a genius? More like a natural idiot.”
The bright-eyed thief had never seen such an arrogant narcissist in her life before, to think he even dared to call himself a genius.
If geniuses were all like him, then the human race would be completely eradicated.
“Since you have sworn that you definitely won’t be captivated by me, then I can just show you my ways…I have no choice but to let you know of my true formidability. Let me tell you, normal people aren’t anything compared to me; even the Immortal Poet, Li Bai, often plagiarizes my poetry, as does the Poet Sage, Du Fu. Otherwise, how could they have gotten to the point where people say that ‘Li Bai and Du Fu’s literary works cast their radiance far and wide’? What you don’t know is that it’s because of me that they are here today. Do you get it now?” Yue Yang said earnestly, with complete certainty. His expression was extremely serious as well. The bright-eyed thief stared at him for a while; could this brat really write poems?
“The Immortal Poet, Li Bai? Who is he?” The bright-eyed thief had never heard of this God of Poetry Li Bai.
(TLN: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Li_Bai)
“Child, you must study well and improve yourself everyday. Not even knowing who the Immortal Poet Li Bai is, no, this won’t do at all.” Yue Yang patted the bright-eyed thief’s shoulder, speaking as if he was old, wise and experienced, putting on an expression that said you would regret it later if you are lazy now.
“What’s so good about this Immortal Poet, Li Bai? Why do I need to know him?” The bright-eyed thief snorted in disdain. But her words seemed to lack some of her previous confidence.
“Could it be that you haven’t even heard of the ‘Quiet Night Thought’ that he copied from me? That’s a classic work. How could you have never heard of it?” Yue Yang looked as if he had just encountered a strange creature that couldn’t read.
“‘Quiet Night Thought’? Never heard of it. What kind of poem is it?” The bright-eyed thief tried hard to recall, but couldn’t find any memory relating to the poem.
(TLN: Quiet Night Thought is basically the first poem every children in China will learn in schools. The poem was written by Li Bai, one of the most famous poet in Chinese Literature.)