He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, brushing away the tears as he sat quietly, savoring the silence. Seeing her name, something tangible to remind him she had been real, soothed his frazzled nerves, and for the moment, he almost felt at peace.
After a few minutes, he stood and brushed the grass off of his pants. “I won’t stay gone so long next time. I love you.”
He walked away, heading across the cemetery to his car. The tears came to a stop, his heart growing numb on the drive back to Chicago.
By the time he crossed into the city limits, he felt cold again.
32
Haven stood in the doorway to the bedroom, quietly watching Carmine as he did his homework. He sat at his desk with his head in the palm of his left hand, staring intently at a laptop. He hadn’t sensed her presence, or if he did, he chose not to acknowledge her.
Carmine groaned. “What does the Greek alphabet have to do with math?”
She blurted out the answer. “Pi?”
He jumped at the sound of her voice and swung around. “Did you just ask if I wanted pie?”
“No, Pi is a part of the Greek alphabet, and it’s also a math, uh, thingy.”
He stared at her for a moment before what she said registered. “Well, thank Alex Trebek for that. You could probably do my damn work and save me a lot of aggravation, you know.”
She blushed. “But if I did it, how would you learn?”
“I don’t see myself ever needing to know this shit,” he said, shaking his head. “Anyway, is there something you needed?”
“I’m supposed to go to Dia’s, remember?”
She wasn’t sure how he’d forgotten, since it was his idea in the first place. “Oh, yeah, right.” He grabbed his keys off his desk. She expected him to stand so they could leave, but instead he held them out to her.
She stared at the keys. “Aren’t you going to drive me?”
“You know how to drive,” he said, jingling them. “I don’t have time to play taxi, tesoro. I have a ton of homework to get done and errands to run.”
Her brow furrowed. “How will you run errands if you don’t have your car?”
“I’m going with Dom,” he said. “You remember how to get to Dia’s, right? It’s a straight shot. I dropped you off there when you got your dress.”
“Uh, yes, but . . .”
“And stop by the store on your way home and grab some Coke for me, will you? It’s just the next street over. There should be some cash in the glove box.”
She gaped at him. “But . . . your car. I can’t drive it.”
He sighed exasperatedly. “Why not?”
“Because I’ve only ever driven Dr. DeMarco’s, and that’s when you were with me.”
“Mine drives like his does. And if it makes it easier, pretend I’m in the passenger seat. Just curse a few times. It’ll feel like I’m there.”
He turned around, subject closed.
It was the middle of May, and today was Durante High School’s prom. Three weeks before Carmine had sprung it on her, casually telling her she needed to pick out a dress. Dia offered to take her shopping a few days later, and Haven got a blue one with dark golden trim.
The past few weeks had been a confusing time for Haven. There were highs and lows, the changes sometimes so abrupt that it was impossible to brace for it. The anticipation and excitement was always there, brewing underneath the surface, but there was also fear—a fear of the unknown, a fear of the plunges.
It wasn’t always bad. Carmine lost his temper quite a bit, but there were also moments, such as that one in his bedroom, when he did something uncharacteristic of the boy she’d come to know. He was protective of his car, yet he had handed her the keys without a thought even though she didn’t have a license.
* * *
The Harper family lived in a one-story tan house in the center of town, modest but big enough for the four of them. Dia and Tess shared a bedroom, the close quarters often reason for their sisterly bickering. Haven saw proof of it as soon as she arrived, a piece of duct tape on the carpet running straight down the center of the room, cutting it in half. The left was clean and decorated with shades of pink and posters of movie stars, while the right half was in disarray, hundreds of photographs covering the wall.
“Have a seat,” Dia said, motioning toward a chair in front of a desk. Haven sat on the edge of it and glanced around at the mess, fighting off the urge to clean for her. “So, are you excited?”
“Of course I am,” Haven said, although her anxiety overshadowed her excitement.
Dia eyed Haven peculiarly as she fiddled with her hair, running her fingers through the wild locks. “Nervous, huh? Your answer sounded way too rehearsed.”
“I am excited,” she said. “I’ve just never been to a dance before.”
“Me, either,” Dia said. “The only reason I’m going to this one is because I have to cover it for the yearbook. Otherwise, I’d stay home.”
“You don’t have a date?”
She shook her head. “The administration would have an aneurysm if I brought someone.”
“Why?”
Dia looked at her with surprise. “Not everyone is accepting.”
“Why wouldn’t they accept you?”
“I’m not into boys,” Dia said, treading carefully with her words. “No one’s told you that?”
“Well, Carmine said he didn’t have the right equipment for you.” Haven turned bright red when what he’d meant sank in. “Oh, he means—”