Beyond What is Given - Page 88/121

“Give me one good reason.”

“Because I fucking love you!” The words carried through the room, the hallway, the house, my whole soul. “I’m in love with you, Samantha. You own me, body, heart, mind, soul, whatever there is to give, it’s yours.”

Her shoulders sagged, but instead of looking relieved at my confession, she looked defeated. “I waited so long for that,” she whispered.

“I should have told you sooner.” I gambled and stepped closer, bringing my hand to her soft, wet cheek, and used my thumb to brush away a new trail of tears.

“Sooner? How long have you known?”

“Since you stood up and yelled at my family that night at my parents’.” I smiled at the memory. “I’ve never had anyone defend me.”

“Why did you wait so long?” Her eyes lit with a sliver of hope.

“At first because I didn’t recognize the emotion. It was so much stronger than anything I’d ever felt, and it scared me. But then Grace woke up…and I knew I couldn’t say those words to you without having my shit straight. You deserved someone who had everything together in his head, who knew his path.” The hope in her eyes died. “What? What did I say?”

“You didn’t know who you would choose. Grace…or me.” She pulled back, and I lost my hold on her.

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to, and I don’t blame you. I don’t blame you for any of this, Grayson. You are amazing. Strong, tender, smart, kind, and just enough of an ass to dish back my crap at me. You are everything I needed, and you saved me when I was pretty sure I wasn’t salvageable. I won’t stand between you and your miracle.”

“What?”

“I know you love her. I know what losing her the first time did to you, and I won’t be the person responsible for it happening twice. You kissing her may have been an accident, but crap like that doesn’t happen without underlying emotions. And you saying you love me minutes after I find her in your arms? Love doesn’t work like that.”

“Sam, don’t do this.”

“It’s already done, Grayson. I fell in love with you, and your lost love came back to life in this honest miracle. How could I possibly say that I love you and not do what’s clearly best for you?”

“It’s not already done, your stuff is all still here. I’m here. You’re here.”

“Grayson!” Parker yelled up. “It’s time to leave for the airport!”

“Have Josh take you!” I shouted.

“Seriously?” she said from the doorway. “You’re not going to take us yourself?” She took in the scene and backed up. “Whoa. I guess you finally saw it, didn’t you? His future?” she asked the question softly, without the usual Parker bite.

“Get the hell out, Parker.”

“Just take them,” Sam pled.

“I’ll wait downstairs,” Parker said as she retreated.

“This conversation isn’t done.”

We stood in stalemate, and Sam swatted away her tears. “It’s better this way. You’re graduating in December, going to North Carolina. I’m not. What’s the point of suffering like this for a few more months when we both know it’s coming to an end, anyway. Isn’t this better? Make a clean break now, and you can have Grace. You can be happy.”

I took her face in my hands again. “I don’t want Grace. I want you.”

“I already waited too long. I can’t afford to fall apart any more than I already have.”

Panic took hold, threatening to close my throat. “I told you I will always catch you.”

“But you didn’t. Not this time.” Another tear slipped unnoticed down her cheek.

“We’re not at the bottom yet, Samantha. Have a little faith.” I kissed her, putting every ounce of love I had in me into it, drinking in the perfection of her mouth against mine. “You were made for me. This, right here? This is everything.” She parted her lips, and I slipped inside, melding us together in the only way I could. Our bodies had always communicated better, so I let them. She melted into me, and I almost fist-pumped. Instead, I kissed her harder, deeper, committing myself to her whether or not she wanted me to, and she gave back everything I knew she was, sweetness, passion, completion.

I broke away first, and then kissed her one last time because she looked too damn kissable. “Stop packing. We’ll figure this out when I get home.”

She shook her head. “I love you, Grayson Masters.”

As she stepped back, the distance between us suddenly felt like a canyon. “I’ll always love you, Sam.” She needed the reassurance, I got that.

“I know. But can you honestly tell me that you’ll never love her again? Can you know that?”

I blinked, and my mouth wouldn’t work. I knew the right answer, but it wouldn’t come out. Love Grace again? I’d never stopped, but it wasn’t the same as what I felt for Sam. The two couldn’t be compared. “That’s not fair.”

“Because you can’t say no, and I can’t blame you.” Sam’s posture drooped.

“Grayson!” Parker yelled.

“But I can’t stay. Second place isn’t good enough, not anymore.”

My throat threatened to close. “Wait, and we’ll talk when I’m back. Just wait.”