Yes, five minutes and a large check was more than worth it. I sealed the return envelope and held it to my forehead, the closest I could get without her dragging me down into her private hell. “Anna.” I let the ache of missing her in for the smallest second, mourning her loss as if she’d died. But maybe one day… No. That thought broke me every time I tried to believe. I closed the door on it with the lid of the mailbox and walked back into the life I’d fought so fucking hard for.
“Can I ask you a personal question?” Grayson asked, sliding the pan into the oven.
“Are you going to anyway?” I threw myself onto the couch, where I intended to stay the rest of the day.
“Yes.” He folded his arms in front of his chest.
“Well, then, it doesn’t matter what I answer.”
“What the hell are you doing with that girl?”
What the hell did he know about Anna? “What do you mean?” I asked carefully.
“Look, I know you and Josh go way back, and he should probably be the one saying this, but he’s not here, so I will. She has a boyfriend, Jagger. A boyfriend who is more than capable of teaching her how to swim. What are you getting yourself into with Paisley?”
Paisley. Just hearing her name took over every thought I had. Her smile, her laugh, all made me want everything I had no right to—
“And why didn’t you tell her you’re in flight school?”
Because then I’ll have to tell her when I fuck up and fail out. “Didn’t want to.”
“Seriously, man. That shit’s not cool. And weren’t you just going off about how girls during flight school are too much of a distraction?”
I took a deep breath and rubbed the spot between my eyebrows. “You don’t think I know that? I’m keeping it as platonic as I fucking can. I know she has a boyfriend, and I’m not chasing her down for sex, so that shouldn’t be a problem. I want to make sure she can swim, and then I’ll walk away.” Liar.
“And fix her library.”
“That, too.” I ripped my hat off and stroked my thumb over the Bruins logo.
His eyes narrowed. “I see the way you look at her, and she doesn’t look like the kind of girl who cheats on her boyfriend. She’s going to rip you to pieces, and the worst part is she won’t have a clue she’s done it. Be. Careful.” He grabbed his bag and keys. “I’m headed to the gym for a few, so listen for the timer. Burn lunch and I burn you.”
I rested my head and stared at the ceiling fan. What the hell was I doing with Paisley, and why couldn’t I stop? Twice in the last forty-eight hours, and damn if I wasn’t addicted to the way she made me feel when I was around her, all hopeful and protective. I needed to find an easy lay and fuck her out of my head.
Something told me that usual tactic wouldn’t work this time.
She was already distracting me, making me want things I didn’t understand. I’m trusting you, she’d said, and the worst part was that I wanted to be worthy of it, perpetual fuckup or not. But she didn’t know my history, not from college, not from…before, and that was the only reason she’d put her life in my hands.
Grayson was right. She was going to rip me apart.
And I was going to let her.
Chapter Seven
Paisley
31. Put my life in the hands of a total stranger.
My fingers shook as I removed my watch. The pool was silent, as it should be, since it was nine p.m. on a Sunday and long since closed. Major Davidson hadn’t batted an eye when I’d asked him for permission to use the facility. He’d even promised not to tell. It helped that he’d finished his assignment as Daddy’s aide.
I wrapped the towel around my body and walked out of the locker room to the pool deck. Jagger came out from the opposite side at the same time. How did he look like that? He stretched, exposing the mouthwatering lines of his abs. Friends. Friends. Friends.
“Ready?”
He flicked his tongue ring across his teeth, the clicking sound reverberating off the walls around me. “Let’s go.” He backed up, sent me a wicked smile, and then raced toward the pool’s edge—despite all the signs that said not to run—and cannonballed perfectly. “Your turn.”
I dropped the towel, thankful that I’d chosen my halter-top one-piece, and folded it neatly on the bench. Then I entered in the shallow end, taking even breaths as the water crept up my body. At least it was warm. Kind of.
The water was to my chest by the time I reached Jagger. His smile was reward enough for getting in the pool. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
No, not if you enjoy things like a thousand spiders crawling all over you, or large vats of water waiting to swallow you whole. “Let’s get on with it.”
“Why are you so scared of the water?”
“Did your tongue ring hurt?” I shot the question at him like ammunition.
His head cocked to the side, and his eyes narrowed. “Yeah, okay. We can do that. ‘Quid pro quo, Clarice.’”
I smiled at his Silence of the Lambs reference and relaxed a little. “I can do that. No lies?”
His eyes took on a fierce glint. “I will never lie to you, Paisley. I might not tell you what you want to hear, but I’ll never lie. You?”
The question felt meaningful, like one of those moments worth memorizing. “I promise I’ll never lie to you, Jagger.” I didn’t have to tell him everything, just no lies.