Sam read my mood pretty well. “Once you get settled, this will be easier.”
I nodded my head absently.
“Time to pick up Gus and get home?” April asked, emerging from the bathroom.
“Yeah,” I grabbed my keys. “Sam, want to come? We’ll be back in time for a run later.”
She nodded mid latte-slurp, and then spoke. “Yes to coming along, hell no to the run. You’ve gone insane with that crap.”
I looked around the mass of boxes and knew we’d be up all night if I wanted to get a workout in. We had two days until classes started to finish up the apartment. There was a giant fake expiration date on my allowed-grieving time, and then I had to function.
The bleachers for the practice ice at the World Arena filled quickly. We grabbed a couple seats on the cold metal bleachers and waited for Gus’s practice to let out. Their over-padded figures ran a scrimmage for the last five minutes, and Gus was going all-out. He’d never been particularly sports oriented, but the minute Dad strapped skates on him a few years ago, his niche was found. The kid loved it.
But as cute as Gus was out there, my eyes were drawn to his coach. Josh dressed was in simple warm-up pants, a jersey, and helmet, all on top of a pair of black hockey skates that he wore like an extension of his body.
His movements were powerful, quick, graceful, and freaking hypnotic. I couldn’t look away as he moved from one blue line to the other, correcting players and getting the heck out of their way. Funny, but if this had been four years ago, I’d have found myself in exactly the same place, entranced by watching Josh Walker skate.
“Earth to Ember!” Sam waved her hand in front of my face, jolting me. “Do you need a napkin for the drool?”
I tore my eyes from Josh and focused back on Sam. “Nonsense.”
“Girl, I have seen that face. Do you forget all those games we stalked so you could salivate over Josh Walker?”
I couldn’t control the laughter that snuck out of me any more than I could keep the backs of my thighs from going numb on the bench. “Remember when you pretended to be my mom so we could get excused from class for that away game?”
Sam did her best impression of my mom, and we both sank into giggles. April turned from her seat lower on the risers—heaven forbid she get caught sitting with me—and glared at us for making such a scene. Sam and I may have grown apart over the last eighteen months, but a few hours together and we were right back to senior year.
Warmth streaked through my heart, washing away a little more of the crust of crap that seemed to have settled over me.
I wiped the laughter-induced tears out of my eyes and focused on the ice, watching Gus steal the puck and pass it to his teammate. He was bouncing back, and I envied him these moments.
The only time I successfully escaped thinking about Dad, was when I was with . . .
I raised my eyes and caught Josh giving me a head nod and single wave. My breath expelled in what sounded too much like a sigh.
“What is that about?” Sam asked, nudging my side.
“OMG,” a girly voice whined behind me. “Josh Walker just waved over here. Do you think he noticed I have his number painted on?”
She what? My head snapped back before I could call up the willpower to keep my eyes forward. The girls were annoyingly gorgeous, airbrushed, and straightened to sorority perfection. And one of them had a number thirteen painted on her cheek in blue and gold. Josh’s number, if he’d kept the same since high school.
“He’s been looking over here for like ten minutes,” the other girl said.
I wiped the horrified look off my face and forced my gaze forward to the ice. “I guess that hasn’t changed. Fan girls and all.” I tried to keep my comment light, but failed. I couldn’t help but be disappointed that girls still chased Josh.
I bet he still liked to get caught.
“Things change,” Sam whispered so the girls behind us wouldn’t hear. “And something tells me he wasn’t looking above you.”
Josh skated over to the glass in front of us, turned, and blew his whistle, ending practice for the day. The boys skated for the locker room. He turned around, pulled off his helmet, and locked his gaze to mine. A slow smile spread across his face, and I couldn’t help but give it right back.
He nodded his head toward the door, and I nodded in agreement before he skated off. The girls behind us let out a collective “Hmmpf.”
“Damn,” Sam whispered. “Have you jumped him yet? Because if not . . .”
“Shut it, Sam.” I paid close attention to my feet as I climbed down the bleachers. Falling on my ass was not on my agenda for the afternoon. I passed Riley’s mom, who was waiting for Rory, and gave her a half smile. She looked like she wanted to say something to me, but I wasn’t up for hearing it. Once my feet were on the ground, I took a quick peek for April, who was practically sitting on the lap of a guy who was not Brett. What the hell is she doing? I did my best to ignore her and give her the privacy she wanted. Following the glass around the side of the arena led me to the door where Josh waited, running his fingers over his slightly sweaty, still incredibly sexy hair.
“December.” He smiled, stopping every thought I had in my head.
“Josh.” It was the best I could do without sounding like an idiot, especially knowing what I had to tell him.
He pulled me to him by my waist, and I rebelled against every instinct I had to melt and give in. I stepped back and shook my head. “I can’t.”