I laughed. Was he serious? I wanted to point out that all of the things he mentioned were risky, but I decided to dive into that later. “What other stuff?” I asked instead.
He leaned so close I could see the tiny lines beneath his eyes and feel the delicious warmth of his breath. His piercing gaze met mine. “For some time I had the crazy idea to work undercover.” I raised my brows in confusion and his grin widened. “You know…head hunt people. I took martial arts classes, trained in all the James Bond stuff you see on TV. I joined a gang. It was my way to handle anger.” He waved his hand like it didn’t matter. I almost choked on my breath.
“Wait a sec. Rewind a bit. Did you say ‘gang’?”
He grimaced. “Sort of. Though not the drug dealing type you probably have in mind. Everyone said I had problems with authority, which I guess was true. I didn’t listen to anyone. Not my father, not my teachers. No one.”
“And by head hunting I assume you’re not talking about sifting through prospective candidates to fill a job opening.”
He shook his head, still grinning.
“Wow.” I stared at him, open-mouthed. It was difficult to imagine Jett—the refined CEO of one of the largest and most successful real estate companies in the world—doing something dangerous, and yet I was inclined to believe him. He had struck me as the bad boy type all right when I first met him, and I was thrilled to see my people knowledge didn’t suck as much as I always thought.
“It’s in the past now, but I can’t say I’m proud of some of the experiences I made.” He ran his fingertips over my lower arm absentmindedly. His gaze was averted so I couldn’t read his expression, but I didn’t fail to catch the strained undertones in his voice. He was hiding something. I couldn’t pinpoint what drove me to that conclusion, but I knew I was right.
“Well, we all make mistakes. It’s part of humanity,” I said.
The way he bit his lower lip, hesitating, I could tell he didn’t want to disclose more, which was a shame because I loved hearing about his life. It made me feel connected to him. Maybe he didn’t trust me enough to share everything with me. Maybe by pressing the issue, I’d be asking for too much too soon when every single women’s magazine tells you to take things slowly. Obviously, I didn’t want to be the pushy kind—the one who had to know everything and ended up asking stupid questions like ‘what are you thinking’ or ‘how do you feel about us?’ I knew enough people who made that sort of mistake, and I honestly wanted to learn from their failures. He’d confide in me, eventually. Unfortunately, I had already told him one of my biggest secrets. So there was no way in hell I’d let him get away with not telling me one of his own. It was only fair he open up so we were even.
“What made you give it up?” I asked.
A few moments passed and he didn’t answer. I thought he might be pissed that I took the liberty to insist on a topic he obviously wasn’t comfortable talking about. And then he turned to look at me, and I flinched inwardly at the pain reflected in his expression. His eyes were deep like the ocean and filled with darkness.
I knew this was the moment he’d either share it all, or pull away from me.
“I got involved with the wrong crowd and ended up doing some very stupid things for them,” Jett said. “I had to learn the hard way…it was either jail or let my father buy me out of the mess. I have changed since—” He trailed off, leaving the rest open to interpretation.
The energy he exuded made it clear something bad had happened. The image of him hiding, destroying, fighting, popped into my head and other feelings rushed through me—excitement, fear, arousal—at the knowledge he used to be someone else. Or maybe he wasn’t so different now; he just hid it well. Either way, I realized my opinion of him hadn’t shifted.
“I wish I could tell you more, but there’s no sense in telling you something that I can’t change. Something I can’t explain to myself,” Jett murmured. “We all have secrets. Mine may be worse than I care admit, but I don’t want you to think less of me by telling you what happened, because my past’s nothing but baggage resulting from bad choices and foolish mistakes. What happened can’t be undone. I’m lucky enough to be alive and that’s all that counts. Maybe one day, when I’m confident that nothing can scare you off, I’ll tell you more.”
It hurt that he thought whatever he did would make me run for the hills, and yet I understood where he was coming from. Secrets aren’t easily revealed when you have so much to lose.
“Whatever you did is in the past.” My hand gripped his, giving it a light and reassuring squeeze, signaling I wasn’t one to judge, just like he hadn’t judged me when I disclosed my past. “It’s human nature to make mistakes.”
He caught my glance and something passed between us. A mutual understanding that not knowing everything was better for me. For us. For whatever there might be between us in the future.
I was okay not knowing.
“I’ve been there and I understand.” I forced a soft smile on my lips.
“Thank you.” His gaze passed through me like a current, piercing into my very core, and his thumb began to stroke my fingers. My skin tingled: strong, noticeable, but invisible. For the umpteenth time I wondered whether he could feel our connection. Two opposites drawn together like magnets. As much as I had pushed him away, hating him for the pain he caused me, I couldn’t deny the fact that he was a part of me now. Wherever I went, he would be there, buried deep within my heart. Never letting him go.
“For what?” My voice was husky. “I haven’t done anything.”
“For trusting me.” He cupped my face and forced me to meet his heated gaze. His thumb caressed my lips, his touch as soft as melted chocolate.
Kiss me.
My eyes implored him, following my heart’s command.
“Sorry, I forgot my manners. Are you hungry?” Breaking our special moment, he let go of me and headed for the kitchen. My gaze followed him.
Damn him and his ability to seem so unaffected!
I cleared my voice. “Actually, I’m starving. Can I help in some way?” I walked over, unsure whether to feel happy or disappointed that we were back on easy-going, superficial terrain.