Feeling her heart squeeze in self-pity, Lydia asked, “So you what, listened to my pathetic story about losing Brett and wanting to be married and had a sudden bright idea? Kind of a kill two birds with one stone thing?”
“Lydia, no,” he said imploringly. “We were both crying in our beer or whatever we were drinking that night. You were melancholy over losing your fiancé and your dreams of a life with him, and I was upset over the situation with my daughter. I was just drunk enough to think that it sounded like the answer to both our prayers. You’re a beautiful woman, and most men would jump at the chance to get close to you—me included.”
Out of all the bombs he’d dropped on her so far tonight, that one was by far the most astonishing. Her heart skipped a beat at the sincerity she thought she heard in his voice. No matter how messed up this whole situation was, he seemed to genuinely find her attractive. You’re pissed at him, remember? Don’t go drawing hearts with his name written in the middle. She forced herself to take a hard line and said, “We need to speak with a lawyer about the best way to proceed with a divorce. You may think it’s the answer, but I don’t see our marriage doing anything but complicating matters with Chris. There is no way she’s going to believe that you fell in love and tied the knot just hours after she served you with legal papers.”
“That’s the other thing I wanted to talk to you about,” Jake began uneasily. “I know you assumed in the hotel room that we’d had sex and I didn’t say anything to the contrary. But we didn’t have intercourse. We can file for an annulment if that’s what you want to do.”
Lydia could only gape at him, opening and closing her mouth as she struggled to process his words. “I remember some of that night, Jake! You had your head between my—you know, below the belt—and I definitely had my hands on your—that area as well.”
Leaning against the counter, he said, “I’m not going to lie, Lydia, we were all over each other when we got to the hotel room and it was damn hard for me to stop that night. But there is no way I could have sex with you without knowing for certain that you were one hundred percent coherent and willing. Plus, I didn’t want our wedding night to be something that neither of us fully remembered because we’d had too much to drink.”
Was she crazy to feel disappointed that Jake hadn’t gone all the way with her? Despite how bizarre the last few days had been, she’d felt a certain happiness and satisfaction when she thought about him being inside her. Sure, she hadn’t been able to recall that exact event, but she’d remembered enough to feel certain that it had been amazing. And now she was more than a little upset to discover that what she had assumed had happened actually hadn’t. Leave it to her to get married and have a wedding night that didn’t include the big moment. “Well, thanks,” she grumbled before she could think better of it.
He quirked a brow as if baffled by the note of unhappiness in her voice. “At the risk of you slapping the shit out of me, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.” She waved a hand. She didn’t think things could get much worse so what did it matter?
“Did you like the idea that we’d slept together that night? I don’t know you that well and I may be reading you wrong, but you seem . . . let down when I thought you’d be relieved.”
Please, ground, open up and devour me. Don’t leave me here to answer this humiliating question. Of course, her silent prayers went unanswered and Jake stood there waiting expectantly. Oh hell, here goes nothing. “I wasn’t exactly unhappy about finally having sex again after three years—even if I didn’t recall sleeping with you. It made me feel as if I’d finally started to move on, away from the suspended state I’d been in for far too long.
“I knew the marriage wasn’t real and that you’d want out as soon as possible, but still, you jarred me awake. Even with the uncertainty between us, I’ve felt more alive since Vegas than I have in a long time. So yeah, as insane as it may sound to you, I do feel as if a weight has been lifted off me.”
And there you have it, folks. The speech that will send Jacob Hay running for his life in the opposite direction from the insane woman before him.
Instead of looking at her as if she was nuts, though, he walked to her side and pulled her from the chair and into his arms. “Christ, honey, I’m sorry.” He held her so tightly, it was a struggle to breathe. “I’ve messed this up in every imaginable way, haven’t I? I know it’s a lot to ask, but please don’t hate me. We might not have known each other for long, but I do care about you. You’re probably the strongest woman I’ve ever met, and I regret screwing up my chance with you.”
Lydia couldn’t help it; she started laughing. Actually, it sounded more like a pained wheeze since he was still squeezing the life out of her. She twisted until he loosened his grip slightly. “It’s rather amusing,” she chuckled, “that you want a chance with someone you’re already married to. I mean I know it’s fake, but it just struck me as hilarious.”
He relaxed against her, and once again, she was certain he pressed his lips against the top of her head in a quick kiss. “I couldn’t care less if you laughed your ass off at me. It’s better than you chasing me around this kitchen armed with a knife, which is what I was expecting.”
She sagged against his chest, allowing herself the pleasure of letting him support her while she savored his masculine scent. “It’s pretty bad,” she finally agreed. “And I’ve gone from being shocked to pissed, then sad, and now I’m not sure where I am.” Sighing, she asked, “Could I see a picture of your daughter?”
He pulled back, looking down at her in surprise. Then he dropped his arms from around her and removed his wallet from his pocket. He opened it and took out a picture. He looked at it for a moment, and Lydia could see how his face softened. He loved his daughter; the caring expression on his face said it all. He handed it almost reverently to her, and then said, “This was taken just a few months ago at the beginning of the school year. She was so damn excited to be starting first grade. She held my hand on the way to her classroom and told me that she was a big girl now, but she could still be my baby when she wasn’t at school.” Giving a wry smile, he added, “I almost lost it right there. Just the thought of her growing up and not needing me anymore is about more than I can stand.”