He knew I was going to fight for Wills. That was why he’d sent him away. Wills wasn’t at a boarding school, I had found that out quickly enough. He was staying in my father’s newest house in London. The boarding school had been a smoke screen.
I answered the call because Jasper was with Beulah. I hadn’t expected him to call me when he was with her. I fully expected him to take advantage of the situation to try and win her back. That was the reason I answered.
I greeted him by saying I didn’t have time for his bullshit. If he couldn’t take care of her I’d send someone else. What he said next, however, had brought me here.
“Sending someone else to take care of the woman carrying your child that she believes you don’t fucking want—and I believe you called a mistake—would be the biggest jackass move of your life.”
I had stood there frozen in shock. It had taken him saying. “Do you hear me you cold motherfucker? She’s pregnant. She’s not run from you. She left to protect her baby that she thinks you can’t love. That’s what I am dealing with here. I had to pull over while she vomited on the side of the interstate. I had to force her to let me pay for her meal so she’d eat more than a damn salad and I had to threaten her with you to get her to let me put her up in a hotel tonight. Because she’s slept in her CAR in a fucking REST AREA for the past two nights. Is this all sinking in?”
Fear and panic didn’t begin to describe what I was feeling. “Where is she?” I asked.
“I’ll text you the location of the hotel I am taking her to. If you don’t show up, I’ll step in. I’ll be what she needs and in time she’ll love me again. This is my peace offering. Come get her if she and your baby are what you want. If you think you can’t be a father then let me be one. I had a shit example too, but because of it I know what not to do. And so the fuck do you.”
He promptly ended the call.
And I ordered a private plane without contacting my lawyers, without thinking about my next steps with my father—that would have to wait. Finding Beulah and getting her home wouldn’t. I had to save my future.
During the flight here, I’d replayed all the words I’d said that last night we’d been together. I remembered how I had gone on and on about us not having a baby. How getting her pregnant would be a mistake I didn’t want. Each fucking memory was like a knife stabbing me in the chest. To think she had stood there and listened to me knowing our child was already growing inside her. I was so ashamed of myself.
How did she not completely break apart right there? How had she stood so damn strong and held it together? Any other woman would have thrown something at my head and cursed me for the bastard I was.
I texted Jasper. “I am here. What room number?”
He didn’t respond and I stood there waiting. Just when I was ready to walk inside and demand to know where she was, Jasper appeared. He walked out the front entrance and came toward me. A scowl of determination on his face.
“What I did before, it was wrong. I was hurt, bitter, and I was desperate to win her back. But I lost something else. Something I hadn’t realized that was more important—my best friend. The only real family I have. This,” he said pointing back at the hotel. “This is me asking for forgiveness. I was tempted to keep her secret. To be the man she needed. To be the hero. But I couldn’t.”
His apology was unexpected. That wasn’t what I had thought he’d come out here to say. Jasper was the one person I knew about as well as I knew myself. We were different but we’d both lived similar childhoods. We had made it through tough times depending on the other one.
“You left something out,” I said.
He frowned but didn’t ask what.
“You called me because you love her. It wasn’t all about me. Or us. It was about her too. You chose what you knew she wanted instead of what you wanted.”
He chuckled softly but there was no humor there. “Maybe so.”
I held out my hand and he looked at it then placed his in mine. We shook then he stepped forward and hugged me. After a slap on the back he stepped back.
“Room 202. Here’s the extra key I had them make. Go fix your fucking disaster. And next time think before you go rambling off at the mouth.”
I took the key. “Thanks,” I said.
Jasper nodded, turned and walked toward the parking lot.
“Where are you going?” I asked knowing he had no car here.
“I had a rental sent here after I called you. I knew you’d show up and I want to continue my road trip.”
I watched him walk away before heading inside. We weren’t what we had once been but we were mending. One day I knew we would have that again. It would be when I knew he wasn’t looking at my wife wanting her. He’d have to find his own happiness first. I was only so understanding.
Heading to the entrance, I held the key in my hand and my steps grew longer and swifter. The need to see her clawed at me. I wanted to hold her and reassure myself she was safe. The elevator was empty since it was the middle of the night and I was outside her door within minutes.
Taking the key, I tapped the lock and was relieved when the red light didn’t flash because she had bolted it. Knocking on her door would have been more difficult. There was a good chance if the lock had been engaged that she wouldn’t wake up and I’d have to sit out here until morning to see her.
Stepping into the dark room, I closed the door quietly behind me. I turned on the bathroom light and cracked the door to give me some visibility. She needed to see my face when she opened her eyes so she didn’t think a stranger was in here with her.
She was curled up in the middle of a king size bed. I could see her pink pajamas peeking through the little bit of her that wasn’t covered up. She seemed so fragile to me now. I wanted to carry her around in bubble wrap and keep her safe from the world. Keep them both safe.
I sat down on the edge of the bed and reached over to touch her arm. Letting her sleep would come later. I couldn’t allow any more time to pass with her believing I didn’t want our child. Even in her dreams she needed to know the truth.
Her eyes fluttered open and she gasped. She started to sit up when her eyes locked on me. She froze and stared at me as if she wasn’t sure I was real. She blinked again and rubbed her eyes and stared at me harder. Squinting to see if I was still there. It as adorable but it also broke my heart. To think she would believe I wouldn’t love our child. That the stupid words I’d said while upset about Wills would mean anything more than an emotional man’s rant.
“Am I awake?” she whispered.
“Yes,” I assured her.
She sat there thinking about it a moment more. I let her slowly take everything in.
“Jasper told you?” she said the words as if they were a question more than a statement.
“He did.”
She frowned. “What did he tell you?”
“That I was a bastard that needed to think before I spoke.” She didn’t stop frowning. She was being careful. I realized she was protecting our baby. Although I deserved it her distrust of me was like a punch in the gut. “He also told me that my future, my happiness, and the woman I loved were in Beaufort, South Carolina and she was carrying my child.” I reached out and cupped her face with my hand. “I’m sorry, Beulah. For saying what I did. I was upset about Wills. I was saying shit without thinking. Things I didn’t mean.”