That night had left her wolf damaged. She acted like an abused animal—she was distrustful, easily provoked, and quick to anger. Coexisting with such a prickly, unpredictable wolf weighed hard on Jaime. When she was angry, it fed her wolf’s temperamental streak. When she was anxious, it increased her wolf’s restlessness. Such strong emotions gave her wolf strength, and that strength could easily be used to surface in spite of Jaime’s protests.
Whenever Jaime had shifted, she’d done it alone, because when her wolf came in contact with another she wanted to do only one thing—attack. Her wolf thought she was protecting Jaime from a potential threat. So Jaime had always run alone in her wolf form and had never encountered a problem, until four years ago when she came across another wolf while on a run. The consequences had been bad enough that Jaime had seen no choice but to never let her wolf free again.
As such, she had formed a cage around her wolf. A cage that separated them so completely that Jaime’s emotions could no longer feed her wolf. A cage so impenetrable that it prevented her wolf from surfacing. Yeah that was unnatural, and yeah it meant she didn’t feel whole, but it was the only way to ensure that her wolf was constantly in the backseat.
She had known her wolf would fight her, had known she would want the freedom that any wild animal wanted, but Jaime hadn’t expected her to fight so hard and so relentlessly. And what was the worst thing that could happen if Jaime let down her guard and her wolf became so strong that she managed to get free again? She might never let Jaime come back. She could turn rogue, might lose her human half completely, and then she’d have to be killed.
Dante didn’t realize he was tapping his fingers impatiently on the table until Trick spoke.
“It’s not like you to be edgy. Or to pick at your breakfast. Or to keep looking at the door every minute or so.”
Dante’s eyes slammed on him. His voice was low. “I’m really not in the mood today, Trick.” Wisely sensing that pushing Dante would only earn him a black eye, Trick sighed and dropped his smirk. “I’ll take pity on you. She didn’t stay out the entire night. She was home by eleven thirty.”
“Who?” His casual act might have worked if his fingers hadn’t stopped drumming. Both his ego and his wolf had been having a crisis all night long, wondering just how far Pretty Boy would get with Jaime. He’d wanted to ask someone if she’d returned last night, but that would have been revealing too much. Apparently, his body language gave his thoughts away anyway. Great. Trick might resist pushing now, but he’d certainly tease Dante mercilessly about it later.
He scented her before he saw her; that caramel-and-honeysuckle scent made his wolf growl and the knot in Dante’s chest ease—a knot he hadn’t even known was there until then. But as he looked at her face, it wasn’t lust that shot through him. It was concern. She was pale, there were circles under her eyes, and her usual enthusiasm wasn’t there. Immediately Dante’s hackles were up and his wolf was pacing.
She didn’t look at him at all as she took a seat at the far end of the table near Gabe and Hope
—who, he had noticed, spent a lot of time together. Now that Selma was gone and Hope no longer had someone trying to dominate her into working against the pack, Hope was a much more pleasant member.
Dante watched as surprise, concern, and then realization flashed on Gabe’s face as he took in Jaime’s pallor. He also noticed that Jaime widened her eyes slightly at her brother. Whatever was wrong with her, Gabe knew exactly what it was, and he was worried.
Glancing around the room, Dante noticed that the rest of the pack seemed confused by her appearance and the lack of her usual sparkle. So it was a family secret. Huh. Well it wouldn’t be a secret for much longer. Dante would make sure of that. He had no doubt that she wouldn’t want to tell him, but he was Beta; he was responsible for his wolves’ well-being, and that meant he had every intention of finding out what was wrong.
“Bad night?” Gabe quietly asked Jaime.
Knowing what he meant, Jaime nodded. “I’ve had worse.” Okay, that was a lie, but she didn’t want him worrying too much.
“You’ve never been able to lie to me, so why are you trying?” When she didn’t answer, he sighed, but he didn’t push her. He never pushed her, and she adored him for that. “Maybe you should take the day off work, catch up on your sleep.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“How long has it been since your wolf last tried to take over? A month?”
“Shh. Keep your voice down.”
He flushed, looking a little sheepish. “You know, you could tell them all the truth.”
“And risk being cast out? No thanks. Having no pack or territory…I’m pretty sure that would knock my wolf over the edge. But if I wasn’t convinced that you’d follow me instead of staying here, I’d chance it.”
“They might not cast you out, they might—”
“Gabe, you’ve seen how overprotective Trey is of Taryn. He will not want an unstable wolf in his pack, especially since his mom turned rogue and he had to kill her. No, the best thing for me to do is keep my wolf buried.” That meant that people couldn’t sense her wolf’s dominant vibes, but they simply thought she was submissive. “I’ll be fine. I can keep a handle on her.” Gabe gave her a gentle smile. “If you think I don’t know that you’re planning to run off once you think I’m properly settled here, you’re dumb, sis.”
Jaime would have denied it, but Gabe was right, she could never get a lie past him. Although she would continue fighting her wolf every step of the way, she had every intention of leaving the pack if her wolf was close to gaining the upper hand. She wouldn’t risk turning rogue and hurting her packmates, not ever.
Ignoring Gabe’s further attempts to talk her into staying at pack territory, she went to work as usual. Caring for the dogs was therapeutic, in a sense. Not only because she could relate to them in a way that she couldn’t to any of her own kind, but because caring for them was such an important job that it allowed her to forget her problems for a while. It allowed her to forget just how worried she was.
She hadn’t corrected Gabe’s assumption that it had been a month since the last time her wolf fought for supremacy. In truth, it had been just eighteen days. In the beginning, she had been able to go without such an incident for up to nine months at a time. But her wolf had gotten stronger and stronger