“So he knows who you are? I mean, he knows you’re his mate?”
“He knows.” She took another swig of vodka. “I know it’s really unusual for someone to pick up on it within minutes of meeting someone, but I just knew. Maybe it’s because I was so eager to find him after seeing Taryn so happy with Trey that I was open enough to sense it. I saw a flash of recognition and then shock cross his face. I saw the way he watched me like a hawk. There’s no way I’ll believe he doesn’t know.”
“You didn’t try to talk to him?”
Her chuckle was humorless. “Oh I tried. You should have seen the way he looked at me. Or should I say, he looked through me. He’s made it obvious that he doesn’t want me.”
“He said that?” Jaime was ready to kill the guy already.
“That’s the thing, he said nothing. He doesn’t talk to me. Whenever he comes to our territory, he pretty much overlooks my presence. I don’t even stick around when he’s there anymore. I figure there’s no point if he’s only going to ignore me. It hurts, you know. It really f**king hurts.” Jaime could only imagine. “Why not tell Taryn?”
“She’d demand to know who he is, break his nose, and then force him to claim me. I want him to claim me because he wants to.”
“Maybe there’s a good reason why he hasn’t claimed you. Maybe you could try to talk to him again.”
“Give him a chance to dismiss me again like I’m a piece of shit on his shoe? No thanks. I’ve got a pretty good idea why he doesn’t want me. He looks down on me.” A surge of protectiveness shot through Jaime. “Why would he look down on you?”
“Because I’m submissive, and he’s so not.”
“Why should that be an issue? Just because you’re a submissive doesn’t mean your mate can’t be an alpha male.”
Another humorless chuckle. “He’s not just an alpha male. He’s an Alpha of a pack.” Shock made Jaime’s eyes widen. “You’re kidding.”
“Nope. So you see the problem.”
Yes, she saw the problem. Alpha pairs of a pack were exactly that—a pair of Alphas. A submissive wolf could never hold the position of Alpha female and would be constantly challenged if she tried. Trey’s mother had been an exception, because no one had envied her position as Rick Coleman’s mate, but she had never had the respect and support of the pack as every Alpha female should. Jaime wanted to say something comforting, but unlike her brother, she was so bad at this. “Oh God, Shaya, if I knew what to say, I’d say it.”
“Thanks. The whole thing would be a lot easier if he didn’t visit the pack.”
“Why does he visit?”
She shrugged before taking another gulp of vodka. “I’m guessing it’s to talk business stuff with Trey.”
“He can do that over the phone. Not many packs socialize with other packs. You don’t think that maybe the reason he goes is to see you?”
“If it is, he’ll be disappointed, won’t he? I’ll never be there when he is. Not ever. There was one time when he showed up out of the blue. I hid in my room.” After a short pause, she added, “I’m thinking of leaving the pack.”
Jaime twisted fully in her seat, gawking unattractively. “What?”
“Believe me when I say that I love it there, I really do. It’s so different from my old pack—
tight and family oriented and supportive. But it’s not a safe haven for me, because he goes there. He can invade my home whenever he likes, and that taints it. If things get too hard…I don’t see what other choice I’d have. No matter how bad things get, I’d never leave Taryn while she’s pregnant. I want to be there for the birth. But after that…Well, we’ll see.”
“Where would you go? Back to your old pack?”
“I’d go where I’d never have any chance of bumping into him. I’d make a place for myself in the human world.”
Jaime gawked again. “You can’t be serious. Shaya, the lone-wolf lifestyle is no joke.”
“No, it’s not, but there’s no room for me in the shifter world if I can’t have my mate, is there? I can’t exactly have a real relationship with another shifter. Even those who aren’t yet ready to find their true mate still want to find them eventually.”
“It doesn’t mean you can’t find a shifter who cares for you enough to imprint on you.” Shaya placed her empty glass on the bar and turned in her seat so that she was fully facing Jaime. “Let me ask you this: My mate might not want me, but do you think he’s going to let anyone else have me?”
“Hell.” No male would be okay watching his mate with someone else. An Alpha male? There was a pretty good chance he would kill any male who touched her, whether he wanted her for himself or not.
“My only chance of finding any kind of happiness with someone would be to leave the shifter community behind, leave him behind. Find a nice human guy who doesn’t come with baggage like Alpha shit and true mate bonds.”
“I hate to say this—really, really hate to say this—but you’re right, getting out of here does sound like the best option for you. I gotta say, though…Running from him wouldn’t be a good thing.
Running from a predator is like waving a red flag at a bull.”
“Yeah,” allowed Shaya, her voice so small and sad, “but if I told him I was leaving my pack, he’d try to stop me because it would suit him to know where I am and that I’m not with anyone else.”
“You’re probably right. Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Is it Nick Axton?” she asked cautiously. It wasn’t such a hard guess, since he was one of the very few Alphas who visited.
Shaya’s expression morphed into one of sheer, unadulterated pain. She sighed heavily.
“Yeah.”
“Can I kill him?”
“I’ve been tempted to do it myself plenty of times. Oh God, listen to me whining. I’m letting him depress me. I promised myself that I wouldn’t.” She jumped to her feet. “Come on, time to dance.”
“Dance?”
“Yes. You know how much I love to dance. Besides, if I don’t stop dwelling, I’ll end up crying. Now come on.”
Nodding, Jaime simply followed Shaya to the dance floor. Then, like Shaya, she gave herself over completely to the music, letting it invade her body, charge her soul, and steal all other thoughts from her mind.