At one time he would have thought that wouldn’t be such a bad thing – if their relationship f**ked up and they separated it would be easier for both of them if they weren’t completely tied to one another. But he had no plans to ever let this female leave him, and he wanted all of her even as he feared giving her the same. Yeah that was bad and if he’d had a fully developed conscience then maybe he would have felt crap about it. Or maybe he would always be unapologetically selfish where Taryn was concerned. As he looked at her then lying beside him shuddering, panting and totally naked, he figured that yeah he would.
Later that evening, they all decided to go for a run as a pack. Well, all except for Greta, Kirk, Selma and Hope who were still sulking. Taryn smiled at the feeling of the cool night air on her face as she accompanied the wolves as they loped through the woods, enjoying the sense of belonging and closeness that could only come from running with the pack. Eventually they reached a small clearing where some of the wolves lay down to relax.
The wolf with the salt and pepper fur – Dominic – had other ideas. Cautiously he approached the only jet black wolf – Tao – and bowed down, sticking his rear in the air and wagging his tail, inviting the black wolf to play. The second Tao got close, Dominic bounded away. They playfully growled and released high-pitched dog-like barks as they tussled and chased one another. A grey-black wolf with a white undercoat – Dante – quickly joined the fun, followed by two grey-brown-yellow wolves – Trick and Marcus.
There was a lot of mock fighting, shouldering one another, pouncing, ambushing, bumping bodies together, jaw wrestling, and attempting to grab each other by the scruff of the neck. From where she was lying on her side on the ground beside two white-grey wolves – Grace and Rhett – Taryn rolled her eyes at the sight of Cujo and another wolf peeing on rocks and trees. It was typical of Trey and Ryan to not join in the fun and, instead, spend the time leaving scent markers to warn away strange wolves. She doubted either of the oh-so-serious males even knew how to enjoy themselves.
It wasn’t long before said serious males trotted over to her. Ryan was beautiful as a wolf. His fur was predominantly black but his face, neck, and the insides of his ears were all a creamy blonde. His posture and tail was low as he approached and licked her jaw. Then he loped off, leaving her with Cujo who rubbed his cheeks against hers and then repeatedly licked her face. When she ran her fingers through his dense, coarse fur he settled down beside her to further enjoy the contact.
She couldn’t help smiling at the sight of her mate, her pack, her wolves – things she hadn’t really expected to ever have. Finally she had a place where she belonged, where she could be happy, and where she had the feeling that she ‘fit’. Now all she had to do was make sure that ass**le Darryl Coleman didn’t take it all away from her.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The one thing Taryn had always known would be annoying about being mated was that having such an intense connection to someone meant there were no secrets. Not that Taryn had any huge dark secrets or anything, but there were little itty bitty ones that she would have preferred to keep to herself.
Like this for example – Taryn had to come to love waking up with Trey’s big body practically cocooning her. It made her feel safe, sheltered, secure. It also made her feel a little dumb and feeble. She was an Alpha for God’s sake and yet she loved being cuddled and protected. It felt like a weakness. If Trey woke up now and tapped into what she was feeling, he would know that. By God, if he teased her about it she’d kick his balls so hard they ended up in his throat.
It was still hard getting her head around the fact that they were true mates. In fact, it wasn’t so much that. It was just the way everything seemed to have happened at once; realizing she loved him, hearing he cared about her, and then suddenly discovering that what she’d grown up believing was bullshit and that she and Trey were true mates – all in the space of twenty-four hours.
And now she was mated. Now she had that deep connection to someone that she had always dreamt of having – that every shifter dreamt of having. Casting a shadow over that, however, was the heavy sensation that was saddling her chest. Guilt. Guilt that she could be so happy to be wrong about Joey.
She had sensed that Trey wasn’t experiencing that guilt. Finding out that Taryn was his true mate had brought him nothing but masculine satisfaction and a sense of peace. She knew what she needed to do if she was to have that same peace, and she planned to do it after breakfast. The feel of him nuzzling her hair broke into her thoughts.
“Hey baby,” he greeted in a sleep-croaky voice. Without having to look, Trey had known she was awake. Just like he had known she enjoyed his body crowding her but would never admit it. Just like he had known she was feeling slightly guilty. “Do you wish I wasn’t your mate?” It startled him just how much it would pain him if she said yes.
Taryn shook her head. “No. Look deeper, behind the guilt. I’m happy about it, about you. Really, I am.”
He relaxed a little when he sensed it was the truth. “Then why the guilt?” It wasn’t an emotion he’d had an awful lot of experience with and it had never made much sense to him even when he did. It seemed dumb that you could feel a rush of happiness but that a negative emotion would be attached to it. Wasn’t happiness supposed to be just that, happiness?
“When I think about it, I’m not sure I know how to think about Joey without having guilt ruling me. Guilt that I should have been in that car and died in the accident with him and our mom’s, but didn’t. Guilt that I survived losing him when most people expected me not to. Guilt that I wasn’t spending every single day grieving him. Guilt that I could be attracted to other guys and still want to mate with somebody someday. Hell, when I lost my virginity I cried the whole time.” She twisted in Trey’s arms so that she was facing him. “And now I find out that this person had never been my true mate at all, and a part of me thinks I should be lamenting that. But I don’t. I can’t. It makes me feel guilty that I’m glad I was wrong.”
He sighed. “I get what you mean, but I can’t say I feel the same. I don’t feel any guilt whatsoever to know that Summer wasn’t my true mate. If that makes me a bad person, well, that’s because I am a bad person.”
“You’re not a bad person. You’re just an ass.” She smiled when he chuckled. “I’m sorry if I’m hurting you with the guilt thing. I don’t mean to.”