“Where have you been?” my father asks.
I shrug. “Out.”
“Katia,” he warns. “Where have you been?”
I stare at him. “Out.”
“Where’s the money I gave you?”
I flinch. Lifting my head. My eyes shoot to Ford, and he’s glaring at me, arms crossed. He told. He fucking told. My father pulls out a letter, and I know it’s the life insurance policy. He’s put two and two together, with Ford’s help.
“You told,” I bark to Ford.
“You have any idea what you’re doing?” he growls. “Any idea what sort of danger you’re putting yourself in.”
“My business is none of yours.”
“Katia!”
It’s Dusty that barks my name. He nods to Candy and she walks away quickly with Penny.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? You were seriously going to get Marcus killed? Did you even think of how that could go wrong?”
“Stay out of it,” I say.
“You feel nothing, do you?” he whispers, shaking his head. “You’re completely broken.”
“I said,” I growl, “stay out of it.”
“Katia, where’s the money?” my father asks.
“Gone.”
“Jesus,” he growls. “Who did you pay?”
“None of your business.”
“Katia,” Wyatt says sadly. “Come on, girl.”
“Stop it, all of you,” I say, my voice so dead I don’t even recognize it. “This is my life. My business. If you don’t stay out of it, you won’t have me.”
I don’t look at any of them after that; I just turn and rush out of the house. Fuck them all. They don’t understand. I walk quickly down to the barn behind my father’s house. I find a haystack and sit on it, staring out at the crisp blue sky.
Boots crunching alert me to a person approaching, but I don’t turn.
“Where have you gone?”
It’s Ford.
“Leave me be, Ford. You’ve gotten what you wanted.”
“Katia, look at me.”
“Get fucked.”
He steps in front of me. “Wake up to yourself. Do you not see what you’re doing?”
I say nothing.
“Fuck, get out of that shell and listen to me,” he bellows. “You are not just messing with your future, but your daughter’s future.”
My jaw tightens, but I still say nothing.
“Do you think the cops won’t find out it’s you? Do you think that they won’t see the massive transaction from my father to you, and wonder where it went? Do you not think they won’t then place him in the firing line too? What’s going to happen then, when you go to jail?”
“Stop.”
“No,” he growls. “What’s going to happen, Katia? Where’s Penny going to go if Marcus is dead and you’re in jail? Well, picture it. Her in a foster home, alone, with no one.”
“Stop,” I rasp.
“Imagine how that’s going to feel for her? All because her mother couldn’t think about her. Instead, she thought of herself.”
“Stop it!” I scream, launching my body towards his.
He catches me, jerking me backwards. “Can you live with that?” he roars. “Can you live with ruining your daughter’s life? What about your father’s? You selfish, self-centered little cow. How dare you take her life away from her?”
“Stop.” I thrash. “Stop it.”
“No. Not until you see what a monster you’ve become. Did you think of her once during your little plan?”
My knees buckle, my hands hit the dirt and I scream. “He destroyed me.”
Ford drops down beside me. “I know.”
“He took everything. He took every-fucking-thing.”
“Honey,” he says, gripping my chin. “I know.”
“He needs to pay,” I screech. “He needs to suffer. He needs to bleed.”
“And Penny?”
Tears explode from my eyes. “No,” I croak. “No, not Penny.”
“She’ll suffer. She’ll go down for this, too. You’ll go to jail, Katia. And Penny will be left alone.”
“I’m so numb,” I wail. “So fucking numb. I feel nothing. Why is this happening to me?”
“Sometimes we feel numb, because we’re too scared to feel the pain. We’re too scared because we know it’ll burn.”
No. No. No. No.
I reach up and tangle my fingers in my hair, pulling. Ford dislodges them, pressing my hands beneath his and holding them against his chest.
“This has to stop.”
“It won’t go away until he’s gone!” I cry.
“Yes, it will. It will go when you accept it all, and move on.”
“You know nothing,” I scream, shoving off him and standing up. “Damn it, none of you understand.”
“Maybe not!” he yells. “But we care about you. About your daughter.”
I laugh bitterly. “You don’t care about me.”
“Katia, you’re going to destroy so many lives.”
“I’m done,” I whisper, dropping my head.
I turn and walk off into the trees.
“God damn it!” Ford roars behind me. “Wake up to yourself.”
I hear nothing more because I disappear into the thick shrubs. My head is swimming by the time I reach the road. I’m trying to push Ford’s words aside. Trying to remove the agony from my chest. I don’t want my daughter to be without me. I don’t want that, but I can’t shake the urge to hurt Marcus.