Still, as she listened patiently, I felt the knot in my stomach shrink a little bit more.
NOT EVEN FIFTEEN MINUTES AFTER I hung up with Gayle, my phone rang. It was an LA number and my thumb hovered over the accept button for a few seconds as I fearfully considered who I would get on the end of the line.
Whoever it was, it wouldn’t be easy.
Sucking in a shaky breath, I answered.
“Skylar?” Brandon asked, sounding disbelieving. “God, is that really you?”
“Brandon?” I slumped on the couch, closing my eyes. It felt like years and years since I’d heard his voice. “It’s me.”
“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. When Gayle called, I wasn’t sure she was for real. It still doesn’t feel real. Say something else,” he demanded.
I smiled through renewed tears. “I’m so sorry.”
He went silent.
“Brandon?”
“I am so angry, Sky.” Tears filled his words, sending my own spilling down my cheeks. “I’m so angry with you but I’m so fucking glad to hear your voice. I was so worried you hurt yourself or someone hurt you. Why did you leave? Why couldn’t you stay and let me help you?”
I sobbed uncontrollably, listening to the tears in my best friend’s voice, a guy I only ever saw cry once and that was at my mother’s funeral. I’d hurt Brandon. I’d hurt my family.
He let me cry, patiently waiting for me get a hold of myself.
“I’m sorry for that too.” I wiped at my cheeks. “You don’t need to hear that from me. You deserve an apology.”
“I deserve honesty.”
“You do.” I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “I wish I had a better answer than this but here is the truth: I was a fucked-up, selfish kid and it took me too long to pull my head out of my ass.”
“Gayle said you were living on the streets. God, Sky, when I think what could have happened. And who is this guy? This label guy? Did he blackmail you? Because it sounds like he blackmailed you.”
“How did Gayle manage to tell you so much in less than fifteen minutes?” I said, awed at her ability. I’d been on the phone with her for over an hour.
“So, it’s true? He blackmailed you?”
The thought of him thinking badly of Killian caused a tightness in my chest. “No. It was complicated. Killian has helped me a lot. He gave me somewhere to stay, clothes, food, and I’ve been writing new music . . .”
“You have millions in the bank. Why the hell did you need to rely on this guy?”
I sucked in a breath. “Because I knew once I called Adam, he would call Gayle, and she would call you. I left it so long to come back to you all that the longer I waited, the more terrified I got at the idea of facing you. I was a coward.”
“What did you think we would do?”
“Hate me,” I answered immediately. “You’re the only family I have left, and I treated you like crap. So yeah, I was terrified of you hating me.”
Brandon was silent so long, I thought my worst fear had come true.
“I’m angry with you. But I could never hate you. I love you. You’re my family. But you put me through hell, Sky. You put me through hell. Then I keep reminding myself that you were already there. In hell. That I can’t possibly understand what you’re going through. But I kind of do because I loved Angie too. I know it’s not the same, but I lost her too. You could’ve come to me.”
Fresh tears scored hotly down my cheeks. “But I couldn’t, Brandon. It wasn’t just about losing my mom and losing her the way I did. It was about Bryan and Micah and the band. I was so miserable in that life but I didn’t want to let anyone down. When Mom died, it was easier to walk away from the music but not from the years I’d wasted avoiding her because of how unhappy I was.”
“Gayle told me about Bryan. Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped.”
“I didn’t want to face it. Facing it meant telling my mom, and I didn’t want her to resent me. I did a lot of running away back then. And I kept running. However, I’m not running anymore.”
“Okay.” He let out a heavy exhalation. “There’s so much to say and talk about, but I don’t want to do it over the phone. Can I come to you? The band is on a break so I’m staying with Heather in LA. I could get on a plane today.”
The thought made my stomach flip-flop but I couldn’t say I wasn’t going to run anymore and then do just that. “I’d like that.”
* * *
THAT NIGHT KILLIAN CAME OVER and held me while I let myself get lost in my thoughts and emotions. He didn’t make me try to articulate them. He let me be.
The next morning, I got a text from Brandon to let me know he’d landed at Heathrow and would be in Glasgow by five o’clock. Killian had left early, as always, to fit in his workout and would be on his way into the office. I called him to tell him about Brandon and the line went quiet.
“You’re not okay with this?” I surmised by his silence.
“You’ve been really lucky here, Skylar. This is a pretty laid-back city and if you have been recognized, no one cares enough to plaster it on the internet. But put you and another band member together and you’re definitely going to get attention.”
“He’s coming to the apartment. We’ll stay inside.”
More silence.
“Killian, this is a good thing. If I can make peace with Brandon, with Austin, and yes, even with Micah, then I can really start to move on. And that’s what you want, right?”
“Of course. You’ve just . . . You’ve come a long way. I don’t want anyone derailing you.”
I smiled at his overprotectiveness. “Trust that I’m strong enough to handle this now.”
“I do trust that. I’ve always believed in you more than you’ve ever believed in yourself.”
I love you. I struggled to hold the words back. “I’ll call you when Brandon leaves.”
“Maybe I should come over? Meet him.”
“I think I need to do this alone.”
“You call me if you need me.”
“I will.”
It was hard to concentrate the rest of the day. I wandered around the apartment, almost feeling like I was losing my mind. Finally, needing something to do, I sat down with my guitar and without even really expecting or meaning to, I wrote a song.
Realizing hours later that I’d barely eaten a thing, I’d gotten up to make myself a salad for dinner when my cell rang. Not recognizing the number, but seeing the Glasgow area code, I hesitated answering it. Then I realized it might be someone from Skyscraper.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Sky, I’m sorry,” Brandon burst out breathlessly down the line.
His tone made my heart speed up. “For what?”
“For not telling you that Micah came with me and then took off from the hotel without me. We haven’t even checked in yet. He must’ve stolen the bit of paper I had with your address on it because I can’t find it, and I’m guessing he’s on his way there now. But give me your address and I’ll be right there.”
The thought of seeing Micah made me more than a little nauseated. “Oh . . . Oh, okay. What should I expect here, Brandon? Is he coming here to verbally attack me?”
He sighed. “He’s . . . I don’t think he even knows. I think he just needs to see you. To see for himself that you’re alive and you’re okay. But even so, this is my fault, so give me your—”
“Excuse me, are you Brandon Kline from Tellurian? Was that Micah Murphy who just left? Oh my God, this is so cool!” a female Scottish voice in the background cut him off.
“Uh, yeah, hey,” he said distractedly. “Nice to meet you.”
“Can we get a selfie?”
“I’m kind of in the middle of something, guys. Later, okay. Thanks.” Another heavy sigh. “Shit, Sky, sorry. Give me your address.”
I felt like I had a bunch of bees buzzing around my ears. “Were you and Micah just recognized?”
“Yeah, we’re not exactly easy to miss.”