And Issy was right, Helena had seen it happen a million times. Just because someone wasn’t absolutely perfect for you, you threw them over and expected someone better to come round the corner, but they didn’t always. Life just wasn’t like that. She knew too many friends and colleagues feeling marooned and terrified at forty, forty-one, and wishing with all their hearts they hadn’t thrown over Mr Nice but Not Quite Perfect when they were thirty-one. So he had taken a while to take Issy seriously – that didn’t make him a bad guy, did it?
‘It’s great,’ said Helena. ‘I’d propose a toast if I didn’t think you’d probably had enough booze this week.’
‘Stop nursing me.’
‘We had this woman in, younger than you, turned yellow, liver failure.’
‘Sharing a bottle of wine with Graeme is not liver failure.’
‘I’m just saying.’
But somehow it felt better to be back bickering. They finished their tea, though, in silence. Issy felt slightly embarrassed and a little crestfallen. She’d rather expected Helena to dive in with her usual alacrity, and say don’t be ridiculous, of course she couldn’t live with Graeme, she had to stay here and nothing would change and it would all be fine and there were a million fantastic guys and fantastic things waiting to happen, just around the corner. But Helena hadn’t said that. At all. Which meant that Issy was being a total idiot; of course this was the right thing to do. It was wonderful. And she was excited deep down, of course she was. It was natural to feel a little nervous, that was all.
Helena smiled at her, hopefully. ‘And, you know … well, just say no if this is all too sudden or anything like that, but, well …’
‘Spit it out,’ said Issy. It wasn’t like Helena to be nervous about anything.
‘Well,’ said Helena, ‘I might know someone who might like to rent your room.’
Issy raised her eyebrows.
‘Might he be a … doctor by any chance?’
Helena looked pink. ‘The doctors’ digs are horrendous, really awful. He was looking for a flat but your place is so nice and—’
Issy held up her hands. ‘You’ve been plotting this!!’
‘I haven’t, I swear.’ Helena was biting her lip to stop the grin from bubbling up.
‘And you think I would stand in the way of true love?’ said Issy.
‘Do you mean it?’ said Helena. ‘Oh my God! Oh my God! That’s brilliant! Oh my God! I’ll just phone him quickly! Ooh! Look at us!’ she announced. ‘The cohabitees! Oh my God!’
She kissed her erstwhile flatmate and rushed to the phone.
Issy couldn’t help contrasting how unbelievably thrilled Helena was with her own doubts. Almost imperceptibly, it felt like something was moving between them and their friendship; paper-thin, a crack that was opening up. She knew what this was like. When your friends had boyfriends, it was fine to discuss their plus points and shortcomings. But when the relationship became serious, then it was too late. Then you had to pretend they were totally perfect in every way in case they got married, and while it was nice to see your friends happy and everything, it did mean that the dynamic changed. And Issy was delighted to see Helena so happy, she was. But the dynamic had definitely changed. They were both moving on, that was all, she told herself.
They arranged to meet for drinks that night so Issy could pack up some of her stuff, and they went out and had a few glasses of hair of the dog and pretended it was just like the old days, but as one bottle turned into two, Helena put her cards down on the table.
‘Why?’ she said. ‘Why did you go back to him so fast?’
Issy looked up from where she’d been surreptitiously glancing at her phone – she’d texted to say she’d be a bit late, but hadn’t heard from him. She felt her face stiffen.
‘Well, because he’s great, and he’s available, and I really, really like him. You know that,’ she said.
‘But he picks you up and drops you whenever he feels like it. And coming back into your life like this … I mean, you don’t know what he’s up to.’
‘Why does he have to be up to anything?’ said Issy, feeling her face getting hot.
‘Well, you know, with my Ashok …’
‘Oh, yes, it’s fine with your Ashok, your perfect Ashok, oh, look at my gorgeous handsome doctor whom everybody loves and who adores me and I’m so in love, blah blah blah. But then when it’s Graeme you’re all snooty.’
‘I’m not snooty. I’m just saying, he’s put you through an awful lot of heartache and—’
‘And I’m not good enough to have someone love me the way Ashok loves you, is that what you’re saying? That it’s so unlikely that any man would want me that he has to have some sort of ulterior motive?’
Helena wasn’t used to seeing Issy so riled up.
‘I didn’t mean it like that …’
‘Really? That’s how it sounded. Or maybe you just think old Issy won’t answer back, is that it? That I’m completely spineless?’
‘No!’
‘Well, you got one thing right. I’m not completely spineless.’
And she got up and walked out of the bar.
Across town, Pearl was staring at Ben.
‘This isn’t fair,’ she said.
‘What?’ he said. Louis was happily playing with his trains at his feet. ‘I just came over to get your mother to stitch on a button.’
‘Hmm,’ said Pearl. The fact that Ben was sitting there shirtless, lit only by the newly acquired reading lamp her mother was using to pore over the sewing which Ben’s own mother could easily have done, or in fact Ben himself if he wasn’t so damn lazy … She knew his game.
‘Why don’t you two go out for a drink while I finish this,’ said Pearl’s mother, managing to smoke a cigarette and stitch a shirt at the same time, quite a feat. ‘Louis will be fine.’
‘Louis come have drink,’ said Louis, with one of his emphatic nods.
‘Bedtime,’ said Pearl, who would not have admitted it in a million years, but had been taken aback by Caroline’s shock that Louis normally went to bed at the same time as she did and was trying to improve matters.
‘No no no no,’ said Louis. ‘No no no no. Fanks,’ he added as an afterthought. ‘No bed, fanks, Mummy.’