That was true, they hadn’t. And a night at Tristan’s house actually sounded amazing.
“That sounds great,” I agreed quickly.
“You don’t have training or anything?” his voice dropped to a whisper.
Matching his tone I explained, “No, the missions I’ve been going on with Nate and Serena have taken the place of training. And besides, I can always meet up with them after, if they need me.”
Tristan’s jaw tightened and his neck muscles were suddenly bulging, but he nodded. “Well, I’ll let my mom now you’re coming then.”
“K.”
And then we parted ways…. awkwardly. I decided I wanted to talk to him about that tonight. There was a time in my life, not that long ago, where Tristan was my epicenter, where my entire world revolved around him and our relationship.
It just wasn’t like that anymore. And I didn’t know why. Maybe it was as simple as we were growing apart. Maybe it was more complex and I’d somehow jilted him by falling accidentally in love with Seth- the boy I couldn’t have anymore.
Maybe it was all him.
I wasn’t sure, but I needed to find out.
----
“Stella!” Tristan’s mom, Allison, greeted me as soon as I walked in the door. “It has been too long! Where have you been?”
I smiled under her over the top affection and greeted her with a hug. She squeezed me tightly to her and then kept her arm around me as she walked me inside her house.
Tristan’s house was a huge farmhouse that was done completely in comfort and easiness. I loved it over here. It was basically my second home. It always smelled like baking or delicious homemade somethings. It was crazy loud- all the time. And it was consistently messy.
Allison was a stay at home mom. But even with two boys already off to college she had a hard time keeping up with everyone. Tristan was the third child with two older brothers and three siblings younger, two brothers, one sister. And their names all start with a t and an r: Trader, Trenton, Tristan, Trevor, Troy and Truman.
The crazy thing was that Allison kept talking about wanting another baby.
Being an only child, and coming from a culture that rarely had more than one child per family, that was insanity to me. But it somehow worked for the Shields. And even in the chaos of their rowdy household, there was such a feeling of peace and acceptance that it was hard not to fall in love with all of them.
Tristan’s dad stepped out of his office and offered me a huge, welcoming smile. He was exactly what Tristan would look like one day- tall, athletic, dark, almost black hair kept short and manageable, with piercing green eyes that seemed to see deeper than surface level.
Allison didn’t let me get waylaid with his greeting though, she kept pulling me toward the kitchen where she was determined she would teach me how to cook. I promised her there was a defect in my genetic code, but she kept dismissing that as an excuse.
Allison and Brian were high school sweethearts that actually graduated from Mead. They both went off to college at the University of Lincoln, got married right out of college, and then moved back home to farm and raise their family. They were the poster children for small town living and they had quiet expectations that their children would all follow a similar path. They weren’t pushy about it, but anyone who knew the Shields could tell.
Trader and Trent had gone off to UNL on football scholarships without even questioning the family manifesto. But Tristan was having doubts, and I didn’t blame him there. It was easy to blame his parents for putting too much pressure on him to be like them, but as soon as I would walk into their house, I always questioned my disappointment with their confined expectations for their kids. This seemed so perfect to me, living like this, with homemade delicious dinners and all of my children crowding around a happy table. It was so idyllic. I had a hard time taking Tristan’s side when I compared it to my own, very empty future.
Even if Seth and I survived this current predicament, I would most likely live out my days childless. I was the Protector of Earth. Where other Stars could take a sabbatical off the battlefield for a few years to raise a child, I didn’t have that luxury. Serena was filling in now, but when I had all my powers, I was expected to do this job full time.
And there would be no warm house or full table to sit down to. I would be spending the rest of my life in hiding. With or without Seth, it was going to be a lonely life.
I hadn’t really thought how lonely until now.
One day I would have to give up Tristan and his crazy family. One day I’d have to walk away from these beautiful people to keep them safe. And away from Piper. And my parents.
I’d already lost Seth- for now.
But seriously, how much more would I have to give up in order to do my job properly?
And in the end would I feel like I’d lost my soul too?
I shook my head and tuned back into Allison who was asking me to whisk her gravy. She must have had a very long day. While there were things where she demanded my help, her famous gravy was not typically one of them.
But then she disappeared.
I watched her retreating back sprint up the staircase; my mouth dropped open. I looked from the stairs to the gravy, back to the stairs and back to the gravy.
“How did this happen to me?” I demanded to the empty kitchen.
“You have got to learn to put your foot down, Stel,” Tristan chided me from the doorway. He had already showered and changed clothes. “She is going to continue to walk all over you until you stand up for yourself.”
“Easy for you to say; she’s your mom. I can’t stand up to her. I’m not physically capable.” I inhaled his freshly showered smell and tingles erupted in the lower part of my belly.