My eyes widened and smile grew into an excited grin when I stepped into the enormous living room. Torn pieces of wrapping paper, in every imaginable color, completely littered the plush beige carpet. Toys of every shape and size were surrounded by the scattered about ribbons and bows. And in the corner, stood the most magnificent tree I had ever laid eyes upon. My gaze traveled to the top of the tree where the mercury glass star rested only a mere inch below the ceiling.
My feet led me closer to the glorious sight as if in a trance. It was decorated with a remarkable eye for great taste with a mix of fragile antique ornaments, glittery glass balls, and simpler items made by a child. It was in every way, my dream Christmas tree.
I stood in front of it and reached out, running my fingers over a small glass frame that held a picture of Logan. He was holding his newborn baby, Oliver. The soft look in his eyes, and relaxed blissful smile on his lips was something I’d only seen once or twice before. He looked years younger, still baby-faced himself, with his gaze focused intently on his young son. The joy in the photo was undeniable.
“Daddy chopped it down himself!”
Startled, I jumped. The ornament fell from my hands. I inhaled a sharp breath and watched as it swung back and forth on the wide branch.
“It’s perfect.” I blinked a few times and stepped back away from the tree to take it all in, smiling at the thought of Logan chopping down such a massive tree. The image of him out in the woods with his son, searching for the right one made my heart swell.
Against my own control, my brain somehow turned the sweet image into something much more lustful. My tongue darted out, moistening my dry lips as I pictured Logan’s firm, toned muscles bulging deliciously through his snug shirt as he swung the ax down to the trunk of the tree.
I shook the thought from my head when Oliver started laughing at Scout rolling around with a long piece of velvety ribbon. I crossed the room, feeling light and happy, and sat on the long sofa.
A few days earlier, Logan had invited me to go with them to help pick out the tree. It seemed lately he was inviting me to hang out more times than not, but I had been busy with Hilary finishing up our Christmas shopping. It worked out for the best. I wasn’t positive I would have had the restraint to keep my hands to myself if I had to watch him perform such a masculine undertaking.
Instead, Hilary and I endured a long day of pushy shoppers and rude clerks that ended with dinner at Haven. A dinner that I presumed would be her and I, alone, but to my surprise, Caleb and Luke joined us.
It was a setup. That much was clear the moment they approached our table and Luke slid in the booth beside me. Caleb shot me a small smile and impish wink, his hand quick to wrap around behind Hilary.
Luke was a great guy. Cute and sweet, with a reliable career. Yet there was something missing when I was with him. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but that mind-blowing, all-consuming hunger devouring me from the inside out when Logan was around, left any other man, unexciting. It was the feeling I experienced each and every time I was around Logan and as much as I denied it, I secretly yearned for more.
No matter how much I fought against it, there was something primal in the way I craved him. It was the most exhilarating, yet scariest thing I’d ever felt.
I decided at the time not to tell Logan about Luke. Since the day I watched Oliver, we had only communicated via text. The Luke conversation was one I would wait to do in person, not that there was anything really to talk about. I just didn’t want him to think I was dating someone when I wasn’t. It was irrational thinking. Logan was only a friend, but I still worried about his reaction. It had nothing to do with the sick feeling in my gut when I thought about Logan dating lately. No. Nothing at all.
“Will you come with us next year to help pick out a tree?” Oliver lifted Scout in his arms and plopped down in front of his new train set. “It was so much fun. You should have seen all the trees in the forest to choose from.” He clicked a switch on the large black train and watched it speed around the giant circle track in the center of the room. Scout leaped from his lap and began chasing after it.
“Sounds like a lot of fun. We’ll have to see.” Would I still be a part of their life a year from now? The thought filled me with soothing warmth.
My body relaxed back into the sofa as I watched Oliver giggling while he tried to yell at Scout to get off the track. I laughed. I couldn’t imagine not being around Oliver or Logan. We spent so much time together whether it was hanging out in my backyard or cuddled up watching a movie. They had somehow become more than just simple friends to me. We had developed a connection that pained me to think it could be gone one day.
“Hello, sweetheart.”
My body remained pressed into the sofa, relaxed. I craned my head back to greet him. My breath instantly caught at the sight of Logan’s bare chest. A pair of black cotton pajama pants hung delectably low on his hips.
My eyes blinked involuntarily, blood rushing to my cheeks and I quickly turned back to face the rumbling train on the floor. I tried to clear the inappropriate thoughts racing through my head. Logan always knew exactly the right thing to do, to catch me off guard, and get me flustered.
Damn him.
Finding my bearings, I shifted in my seat and gave him an unimpressed eye roll.
“Too late, sweetheart, we both know you like what you see,” he teased, eyebrow cocked. He threw on a white cotton shirt and I swallowed at how it clung to his sculptured chest and chiseled abs in all the right way. Or more like wrong way. It was so wrong to feel this attracted to someone you knew could never give you what you wanted.
“You wish.” I chuckled, narrowing my eyes at him. “Since when do you greet your guests shirtless, anyway?”
“Oliver woke me up at five this morning wanting to open gifts. I was just about to go take a quick shower when you arrived.”
“Well, don’t let me stop you. I’ll play with Oliver while you’re in there.” I turned back to face Oliver. His face was twisted in frustration as he tried to change the track shape.
Logan chuckled lightly, no doubt at his son’s determination, and watched me as I stood from the couch and walked over to help.
A half hour passed and I was still sitting on the floor, playing with the train set Oliver had received from Santa as Scout chased behind it.
Oliver let out a deep hearty laugh when Scout jumped in front of the train, blocking its path. I began laughing as well, when Scout let out a small yelp and leaped out of the way after getting run into by the large caboose.
A sudden prickle tingled over my skin, pulling my attention away. I lifted my head and found Logan leaning against the entryway, a faint smile on his lips, watching us. His hair was still damp and he was wearing a pair of dark wash jeans and fitted V-neck black shirt. He looked perfect and I had a feeling he knew it.
I smiled, feeling what I could see he was, peaceful.
Logan stepped into the room, his lips pressed in a relaxed line, and sat a few feet behind me and Oliver on the sofa.
“You’re gonna stay to watch a movie with us tonight, right?” Oliver asked, not looking up from the package of cars in his hand. Scout sat in his lap, exhaustion settling in.
“Of course.”
Not only did I have nothing better to do since I was alone for Christmas, but truth was, I loved spending time with Logan and Oliver. It was slowly becoming one of my favorite things to do.