I nodded but didn’t say anything. Her words might as well have been in another language. It had been a long session, and I was completely and utterly drained. At least I wasn’t crying anymore.
“And for what it’s worth, I don’t think this is the last you’ve seen of Hunter.”
I sighed, staring at her blankly. I didn’t want to think about Hunter. I didn’t want to think about anything.
Taking the cue that the session was over, I rose shakily onto my feet. After a half-mumbled goodbye, I walked out of her office. I was beyond glad that we were done for the day.
I looked up at the clock in the waiting area and saw there were still ten minutes left before my uncle was due to pick me up. Taking a deep breath, I sat down before realizing this gave me time to clean myself up. I hopped back up and went to the bathroom to clean off my makeup. As I stared at my sunken eyes in the bathroom mirror, I couldn’t help but play Dr. Schwartz’s words over and over in my head. Was she right? More importantly, did I want her to be right?
Chapter Two
A NEW HOME
Uncle Stewart’s charcoal gray Buick sedan had pulled up to the curb when I came out. The sky was gray and sprinkling early April rain, so I was relieved he pulled up rather than parking in the lot and making me walk.
“How was it?” he asked, as soon as I was safely inside. He was wearing a black fleece with his company’s logo over a white oxford shirt and pleated chinos. It was his work outfit. He had just gotten off.
“Pretty good,” I answered, deciding to simplify things. In reality, my mind was in a million places and I felt like my body had been emptied of tears.
He nodded, pursed his lips, and began driving me the twenty minutes home. My uncle was typically a quiet man, so for him to even ask me about my appointment was a little unusual. He and my aunt were very worried about the way I’d been acting since I got back to their house. I could almost hear my aunt asking me delicately if I might be sleeping too much.
I looked over to see if he was going to say anything more, but his eyes were focused on the road. Uncle Stewart was a salesman who had to do a lot of driving for meetings. Normally he appeared very comfortable behind the wheel, but today he was a little more on edge. His forehead had wrinkled and his grip on the steering wheel was viselike.
I decided to tell him a little more to see if he would relax. “I think Dr. Schwartz actually gave me a lot to think about,” I said, trying to sound cheerful.
“Good!” he said, glancing over at me before returning his eyes to the road. I couldn’t tell for sure, but it did seem like he relaxed a little bit.
I turned to look out the window. Living with my aunt and uncle had its smothering moments, but I was glad to have somewhere to go. They loved me as one of their own, and I was very thankful for that.
I got back to thinking about what Dr. Schwartz had said. Was I thinking about Hunter the wrong way? I wished I knew what he was dealing with, but he’d refused to tell me. Whatever it was, it was in the past now.
I let out a deep breath. “What’s for dinner?” I asked my uncle.
“Not sure what your aunt is cooking,” he said. “Probably won’t be ready for a while though. She just got home. Joel and Billy had something after school and she was helping out.”
He seemed to think for a moment. “If you’re hungry we can stop for something on the way home.”
I shook my head. “No, that’s okay. I don’t want to fill up before dinner.”
“Are you sure? You haven’t been eating much lately.”
His words made my stomach sink and I grimaced. My poor aunt and uncle were obsessively worried about me. “Yes, I’m sure,” I said. “Eating Aunt Caroline’s home cooking will make me feel better than stuffing my face with fast food.”
He shrugged. “You’re right. Just trying to make sure you don’t feel like we’re starving you, that’s all.”
I laughed. My aunt was constantly pushing food on me. Anything so long as it was rich and smelled good. I just hadn’t been hungry since I’d gotten back from Studsen. “Not sure how I could ever think that.”
My uncle smiled. “Looks like talking to Dr. Schwartz really did help. This is the most lively I’ve seen you since you came back.”
I pursed my lips. “Yeah, maybe. I still have a lot to figure out.”
He seemed to consider this. “Okay. Well, your aunt and I just want the best for you. If there’s anything we can do to help, we will.”
It was my turn to nod. This wasn’t the first time we’d had this talk. “Okay. Thank you. I’ll let you guys know if there’s anything you can do. Right now I think I just need a little space to think.”
“Okay. If there’s anything else, don’t hesitate.”
I turned and looked out the window at the passing houses, each one mostly like the last. The roads were still wet, but it looked like the rain had at least stopped. In fact, the sun was even beginning to peek out. I was pretty sure we were getting close to the Perkins house. Or home, I still couldn’t decide. I didn’t really have a place that felt like home at that moment.
How long was I going to be living in Eltingville with my aunt and uncle? It was wonderful to be able to come back here when I was having a hard time, but I couldn’t stay forever. At some point I had to become a self-sustaining adult with a life of my own, even if I never totally got over what happened to my parents.
This was a rut I needed to get out of, and part of getting out was going to be cutting myself free of everything unresolved that had happened in the last few months. There was no point in having yet more baggage dragging me down. Maybe talking to Hunter one more time would be for the best.
I took a deep breath, my heart racing already at the prospect. “Actually there is one thing. I should probably get a new phone soon, so I don’t completely lose touch with the friends I made at school.”
“Good idea,” my uncle said quickly. “Maybe we can go to the store after dinner tonight. If not tonight, tomorrow. Don’t want to keep you from your friends.”
“Sounds great,” I said, leaning back in my chair. “Thanks so much.”
A chill ran through my body. Was it too late to work stuff out with Hunter? Probably, but I could at least make sure he was okay. There might even be a chance to find out what had happened the last couple weeks. Maybe I could call him the next day. Or that weekend. Soon, anyway.
We turned onto the street the Perkins lived on. I was feeling pretty hungry, actually. Maybe I would have a tiny snack before dinner. Just some chips or something. Nothing big. I didn’t know what the Perkins family usually had for snacks.
“Wonder whose car that is,” my uncle said.
I snapped out of my dreams of salty goodness and looked out the window. There was a beat-up old car the size of a small boat parked in front of the Perkins house.
My stomach churned with dread. I knew who it was before we even pulled up.
He was standing at the front door talking with Aunt Caroline, his head down. From the expression on my aunt’s face, the conversation looked serious.
It could only be one person.
Chapter Three
HEALTHY
I opened the door and got out of the car shakily. Hunter turned around.
My insides dropped in freefall. I blinked, and an image of the last time I saw him flashed through my mind. He looked better now, but a bandage stretched across the bridge of his nose and there were multiple cuts in various stages of healing on his face. The skin around his left eye was a deep shade of purple.