Twenty minutes ago, I’d retreated into the dark, accompanied only by aching thoughts about today’s visit to the cemetery and my potential lifetime of loneliness. I’d been licking my wounds when William had entered and immediately honed in on my emotional state. It was humbling to have him here, but impulse alone had driven me to ask for his comfort.
And he’d offered it with no aim to take it any further. He’d stroked my hair and held me in his arms, where I felt so safe. Like I could sleep for a decade wrapped in his iron embrace. Like I was Hera asking Hypnos, the god of sleep, for the blessings of peaceful, uninterrupted rest.
What did this mean? And why was it making me ache with even more longing than before? For the love of the goddess…
My heart raced, but it wasn’t just from the pangs of desire. It was fear. Pure, screaming fear put me in fight-or-flight mode while playing tug-of-war with hungry, burning lust that wanted more, more, more.
When William’s callused hand clasped the tender skin of my neck, desire won out. The rough feel of his fingers was maddening, ratcheting up the lust a few more notches from the already blazing level of our kisses.
I placed my hands on his firm chest, sliding over every plane. I itched to get under his shirt and vowed to have his clothes off in the next half hour. This hot hunk of man-virgin was not going to stay that way much longer if I had anything to say about it.
Needing to be even closer to him, I pushed my breasts hard against his chest.
He let out a long, hot breath against my mouth, which was cut short by a noise at the door. Another person in the room. “Hey Jenna, have you seen my—?”
I froze, only now realizing that William was lying completely on top of me at this point. In the dim light spilling in from the hallway, I could just make out Mia standing frozen in her spot.
Slowly, sluggishly, I straightened while my entire body protested being pulled away from William. He rolled back, freeing me from under him, and then he immediately sat up without looking directly at his cousin’s fiancé. His eyes were on the floor like a chastened schoolboy, and that kind of annoyed me.
What on earth did either of us have to be ashamed of? We were both consenting adults who weren’t in any sort of committed relationship with other people, for heaven’s sake.
We sat next to each other on the bed and I adjusted my shirt, thinking that if he were any other guy, he would have had his hands up my shirt during the first minute of that kiss.
But instead, he’d gently cradled my head in his big hands. How incredibly sweet. I glanced at him and then at the doorway, where Mia was still standing with her mouth hanging open.
I met her gaze, raising my brows.
“Uh…oh, sorry. Adam’s finally decided he’s not going to be sober enough to drive home anytime soon, so he called for a car to come get us. Heath passed out, and we’ve been drawing all over him with a Sharpie to pass the time. He’s probably spending the night on your living room floor. I came in here looking for my phone.”
“It’s on my desk. You plugged it into my charger, remember?”
Mia was staring fixedly at her stepbrother’s bowed head and didn’t respond right away. Finally, she roused herself. “Oh, yeah…um. That’s right. Duh…losing my memory at the old age of twenty-four.”
I looked away and William fidgeted beside me, folding his hands over the sizeable bulge in his jeans. So awkward.
Mia walked over to my desk and pulled her phone off the charger, then stuffed it into her back pocket. Turning back at me, she said, “Jenna, can I…talk to you for a sec?”
William stood from the bed, still conspicuously covering his crotch area. “Excuse me. I need to use the bathroom.”
Mia watched him go with concerned eyes and then closed the door after him. I reached over and flipped on the desk lamp, blinking at the unwelcome light. My friend was staring at me like a reproachful mother who had found birth control pills in her teenage daughter’s purse or something.
“Can I ask what’s going on between you and William?”
I clenched my teeth. How was this any of her business, stepsister or not? “You can ask.”
She tilted her head and grimaced at me.
I sighed. “Well, the only thing you saw was kissing, right? So that’s what was going on between us. Kissing.”
Mia blew out a breath, also expelling a self-conscious laugh. “I don’t mean to sound like an asshole. I’m just…be careful, okay?”
“We’re all adults here, Mia. We know what we’re doing.”
Her uncomfortable smile grew and she shifted from one leg to the other. “I know that—I know. It’s just that you’re leaving soon. And given your dating history…”
I blinked. Now Mia was singing the same song as Alex—and Helena! “The number of guys I’ve dated is irrelevant. Just because you never dated anyone before Adam—”
“That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry. Of course you can date whoever you want and for however long you want, and you know that you’d get no judgment from me. At. All. I’m just worried about the whole dynamic going on here. What happens when you date and then break up? We’re all a part of the same group of friends—”
“Oh, you’re worried about that? Ross and Rachel did just fine.” I shrugged.
Mia’s jaw dropped. “Ross and Rachel aren’t reality. They dated and broke up over and over again and hung out with their mutual friends with no consequences. Life isn’t an episode of Friends, Jenna. If something like that happens…it could change everything.”
And if anyone had learned lessons about the hard realities of life, it was Mia. She’d had a pretty horrible year last year, having been sick with a life-threatening disease. I looked into her dark eyes and saw the tiniest hint of something I hadn’t seen before—an almost haunted look from unspoken traumas that I wasn’t privy to.
“But I’m going away anyway.” For some reason that I didn’t examine too closely, my voice trembled.
Mia took a step toward me. “I’m sorry I’m being a pain. But…William means a lot to me, and I’m going to be the one picking up the pieces when you leave. Don’t hurt him, okay?”
“I don’t want to hurt him, Mia.” And it was true. I had no desire to hurt him.
But I did want to be the one to pop William’s very delicious cherry. Why not? He had to lose it sometime, and if the kisses we’d shared had been any indication, it could be very, very fun.