As much as I didn’t relish the idea of being alone in a car with her for hours, I needed to make sure she wasn’t here at the complex and not under my watchful eye, that she wouldn’t go running to Adam with her confession the first chance she got.
I had to hedge my bets. And besides, I was safe with her in the car as long as I was driving. What could possibly happen?
Chapter 13
April
I thought about those things he told me all the way home. I thought about them as I logged onto Dragon Epoch, and I thought about them the entire time I played. I thought about them as I lay in bed at two in the morning, unable to sleep, in spite of the fact that I had to be up at 4:30.
I couldn’t stop thinking about them. Somewhere along the line you learned that you aren’t worth standing up for. I struggled against those words, resisted them. Told myself, what the hell does he know? He hardly knew anything about me. But the more I thought about them, the more I decided they were true.
About me. About how I dealt with my friends, my parents. Especially my parents. When I was upset with them, I avoided them until it was impossible to no longer do that. But I never told them what I was thinking. Other people’s feelings and opinions are more valuable than your own. Because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings or make them feel bad, I allowed myself to continue feeling bad instead.
But how…how had he done that? How on earth had he seen what I couldn’t see myself? You keep those feelings inside and show the world a brave face.
I tossed and turned all night, haunted by his words. And because of my freakin’ insane notion that I needed to be at work earlier than expected, I was actually wandering the halls of Draco Multimedia before six in the morning on less than two hours’ sleep.
The light filtering in from outside was watery and dim—as dim as I felt, actually. I went to the cafeteria for some much-needed coffee, which was about all they served at this hour. I was surprised to see other early risers there, too, sitting at some of the dozen or so round tables in the breakroom.
As I grabbed my coffee and fixed it up with some cream and sweetener, I noticed a couple of people seated nearby, laughing and talking and sounding far too perky for this early in the morning. On a second glance, I noticed it was Mia and Adam’s cousin, William, whom I’d met in the alley behind Le Chat Noir a few nights before. He looked over my way and Mia followed his gaze. When she saw me, the smile melted off her face and she turned her gaze away, stirring her coffee. I waved at William and smiled. He smiled back briefly.
Seeing Mia again reminded me of the blown chance at an apology. I’d perfected that thing in my mind since then, running it through different variations. I’d been waiting for another chance, but too afraid to force the issue.
But Jordan’s words yesterday…I hadn’t stopped thinking about them. The more they’d sunk in, the more they’d marinated my thoughts.
I’d let Cari railroad my one chance at talking to Mia and apologizing for my past rude behavior. I could make up for that now—if I didn’t chicken out. I could at least make this right even if I could never right the wrong I had done to Falco.
So with a deep breath, I screwed up my courage and walked over to the table.
“Morning, Mia, William…”
They both looked up at me, surprised. “Good morning,” William said.
“Why is anyone in their right mind here this early?” I asked.
“This is our morning to have breakfast together,” William explained. He didn’t look at me. He didn’t look at Mia, either.
Mia cleared her throat and spoke up. “It was a little bit of a tradition for us to have lunch together when I worked here. But I’m starting school soon, so I won’t be able to do it much longer unless we meet really early before class. We’re trying it out to get used to it.”
“Good to know somebody’s here voluntarily. I’m just being dragged along on a meeting with the Beast.”
Mia almost spit out her coffee and William glanced at me out of the corner of his eyes, smiling. I sank down in the seat across from him. “Mind if I sit for a minute before he gets here?”
“Sure. William was telling me about the incident at the bar.”
My face flushed hot. “Uh, what incident?”
“About how Jordan thought it would be a great idea to ‘educate’ William in how to meet women at a bar.”
I cracked a smile. “Oh, is that what he was doing?” I turned to William. “Did he give you any good pointers?”
William scowled. “I should have known better than to ask Jordan to take anything seriously.”