“That’s it, Son,” my dad spoke up. “Your mom is right. We have nothing bad to say about each other and we’ll always be friends.”
“You’re just starting this process, honey, this mourning process,” my mom followed.
“Mourning?” I asked.
“Yeah. You’re mourning the loss of what you thought things would be like, the life you thought you would have. You grew up with this idea of how your life would be when you were older, and I’m sure it didn’t include having your parents separate.” Her wise words and soothing tone made me relax for the first time in a week. “This is going to take some getting used to, but eventually you’ll realize you’re not losing either of us. Just the idea of us.”
She was right. I’d always figured one day I’d bring my kids to this house to have picnics and sleepovers with their grandparents, together. This was just going to take some getting used to.
I felt defeated.
Deflated.
Exhausted.
“But if you guys can’t make it work, how is there any hope for anyone else?” I resigned, waving my imaginary white flag.
“Honey, just like I said the relationship between your dad and I isn’t for you to understand, your relationship with Kacie isn’t for me to understand. Hell, I shouldn’t even be offering advice, but I can tell you what I’ve learned along the way. If you guys want to be together, you’re going to have to roll up your sleeves and put in the work. Forever. People stand in front of an officiant and say ‘I do’ but that shouldn’t mean ‘I’m done’ when it comes to putting time and effort to grow their relationship.” She looked at my dad and a sad smile appeared on her lips. “I wish I could go back in time and take my own advice.”
An hour later, Kacie and I were in the car on the way home and she was quiet. Really quiet.
“What are you thinking?”
She sighed. “Just kinda going over in my head what your mom was talking about.
“What part?”
“All of it, but mostly the part when she said that no two families are the same and they come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. It really hit home for me.” Nervously, she looked down and started playing with her hands. “Especially the part when she said that sometimes what people want at twenty-five years old isn’t the same thing they want at fifty.”
I looked back and forth from her to the road. “What are you trying to say?”
She shook her head at me. “No. No. Nothing about us, nothing about us at all. I’m just thinking. Do you think that people can sometimes want something different at twenty-five than what they thought they wanted at twenty? Like Zach?”
I clenched my jaw and dug my fingers into the steering wheel.
“Think about it, Brody. The fact of the matter is he’s here and he seems different. I feel like I owe it to the girls to at least give them a shot at having a meaningful relationship with him.”
“You owe him nothing,” I said sternly.
“Okay, you’re right. I don’t owe him anything, but I’m thinking about it from Lucy and Piper’s perspective. I don’t want them to grow up and ask where their dad is some day and I have to tell them that he came back but I wouldn’t let him see them.”
“What if he wants you back?”
“Not possible,” she insisted. “I have the sexiest, sweetest, most amazing boyfriend on the planet who’s not afraid to kick his ass if he gets out of line.”
“You can say that again—about the ass-kicking part.”
“We want to move forward as a couple, right?”
“Right,” I agreed.
“Then I need your blessing on this.”
“Why?”
“Brody! Because! I love the way you protect the girls and me with the fierceness of a lion protecting his cubs, but you can’t kick his ass every time he comes to the house to see them.”
I took a deep breath and exhaled like a dragon again. “When were you at the park with him? We never talked about that.”
Her eyes dropped to her lap again. “He wanted to see the girls, but I wasn’t comfortable with introducing them to him, especially since you didn’t know yet, so I told him I would bring them to the park to play and he could watch from a distance. We were only together about fifteen minutes or so.”
“Hm.”
“What does that mean?”
“That’s actually not as bad as I was picturing,” I admitted.
“What were you picturing?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “The two of you having a picnic and pushing them on the swings together.”
“Oh, God,” she scoffed. “Not even close. You’re the one I want to do those things with. Not him.”
“But—”
“Stop but-ing me and stop assuming that just because he’s back, I’m going to run off with him. You’re what I want, Brody. I want you now. I want you in ten years. I want you in fifty years. Now, let’s roll up our sleeves and work on this shit.” She winked at me.
We pulled up to a stoplight and I used the driving break to my advantage, leaning over and kissing my girl. She grinned at me with that crinkly nose that brings me to my knees. I couldn’t imagine spending thirty years with her, and then just giving up. If I was lucky enough to one day persuade her to marry me, I was holding on tight and never letting go.
“Why am I so nervous?” Brody asked, pacing the kitchen like an expectant father.
I laughed. “Because they’re six and Lord knows what’s going to come out of their mouths.”
Today was the day.
Today was THE day.
We were sitting the girls down and telling them about Zach. I was nervous, but excited to get the weight off my shoulders and move on. I had no idea what to expect from them when I told them. They were only six years old, after all.
“So what are you going to say?” He sat down at the kitchen island, nervously tapping his thumb on the counter.
“I’m going to keep it simple. They’re still pretty little, so just the basics.” I sat down across from him and held his hand, steadying it. “As they get older, they’re going to have more questions and we can get into detail then. For now, less is more.”
“Yeah. Okay.” He sighed.
“Are you sure you want to do this tonight?”
It was Halloween and Brody had suggested that it would be a good night for us all to put the past behind us and take the girls trick-or-treating. I called Zach and suggested it. He was overwhelmed with my offer and thanked me profusely.
“Yes. Let’s just rip that Band-Aid off.” He nodded.
“By the way, I’m dying to see these costumes you have for them,” I said excitedly.
A devilish grin slowly rolled across Brody’s lips as he cocked an eyebrow at me.
“Okay. That face makes me even more curious than I already was.”
A couple weeks ago, Brody asked if he could be in charge of the girls’ Halloween costumes. He said he had a plan and the girls were in on it too, but they didn’t want me to know. As a mom, Halloween costume selection was a very big deal, but I threw caution to the wind and let him have this one.