I gulped and swallowed my sadness. “I’m not so sure,” I muttered, shaking my head and pushing myself from his arms. I had never been a person to wallow, so I needed to shake myself, dust myself off and carry on. Hopefully, in time, everything would get easier and this overwhelming sadness would stop creeping up on me unexpectedly.
TO SAY THE CAR RIDE with Rory and Carson had been awkward would be the understatement of my life. The air was practically crackling with waves of hatred coming from my little brother. Before we’d left Lucie’s flat, I’d taken him aside and we’d had a long chat about how he needed to act, how he needed to go along with it for me so I could continue to work on Carson in my own terms and make him see this was not a good idea. I had every faith that my constant whining, Gloria’s input, and the media attention would eventually wear him down and he would stop this ridiculous façade.
The media had again been waiting outside Lucie’s flat for us to come out. As I’d carried my daughter from the building, Carson’s arm was securely around my waist as he repeated his earlier words about them not being able to print a picture of Sasha or Rory because of the blanket order. Thankfully, as they were shouting their questions at us, Rory had kept his promise and kept his lips sealed.
Carson had been quiet the whole trip and kept sneaking glances at Sasha using his mirror. A little smile had twitched at the corner of his mouth the entire time. By the time we turned onto Carson’s road, my head was aching from stress. The drive to his place had seemed to take forever as Rory sat there in the back, grumbling about not being able to walk to school or pop around to his friend’s now that we lived in a different part of London.
“Jesus, how much money do you actually have?” Rory muttered as we pulled into the driveway of Carson’s impressive house.
I rolled my eyes and, once in the garage, pushed myself out of the monster-like truck, jumping down because the seats were so high. As I pulled Sasha’s door open, Carson had already run around the car and was standing close behind me, watching our every move as I plucked her from her car seat.
“Need a hand?” he offered.
I shook my head. “I’ve been managing perfectly fine for the last two years, thank you.” I didn’t mean it to sound as nasty as it came out; after all, it wasn’t his fault he wasn’t around and I’d been on my own.
Rory tossed a holdall bag full of clothes in Carson’s direction. “Here, you can help me instead.”
Carson’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t say anything in return as he waved his hand toward the interior door of the garage. I headed in that direction, watching as he typed in a passcode to get the door to open.
“You looking forward to seeing your new bedroom, Sasha?” Carson asked, smiling down at her.
She didn’t answer, just turned her face into my neck. Sasha had been quiet for the last hour. She always could be a little shy around strangers. Like me, it took her a little time to fully trust someone, but once she did trust, she let them see every part of her. Carson just needed to keep working on her and she’d let him be part of her inner circle. He looked extremely disheartened by her not answering him, but he covered it with a sad smile.
“All right, Sash?” I whispered, kissing the side of her head. She nodded, gripping her hands into my hair and twisting it around her fist absentmindedly as she kept one eye on Carson. “Daddy bought you a beautiful new chair made out of teddy bears, want to go see?” I asked, trying to help him out a little because the sad look on Carson’s face actually hurt me, too. She nodded against my neck, so I smiled over at Carson. “Maybe Daddy will show us the way?” I offered.
Carson’s tense shoulders seemed to loosen as I included him. He smiled gratefully at me and placed his hand on the small of my back as we walked up the stairs to the house. “I can definitely do that,” he said quietly.
Rory made a strangled choking sound as he stepped into the hallway behind us. “Damn. Big,” he muttered, looking around with wide eyes.
Carson smiled over at him. “Go look around. My house is your house,” he stated, waving his hand in invitation. “TV room is in there. Your bedroom is on the first floor, first door on the right.”
Rory nodded, dropping his bag carelessly as he walked in the direction of the TV room. “You know, Emma, maybe this might work out after all. Live with him for a couple of years, then divorce his arse and take half of everything,” he suggested, his voice serious, as if I should actually consider it.
I frowned at my brother for the mere suggestion. “I’m sure there will be a strict pre-nup agreement. Celebrities usually insist on those, especially if they’re marrying someone like me,” I muttered.
“I don’t want a pre-nup,” Carson chimed in, sliding his hand from the small of my back to my hip instead as he stepped closer to my side. “If you two girls want it, then take it. I don’t care.” He shrugged, looking down at Sasha.
I rolled my eyes and gritted my teeth. “How many times have I told you I’m not interested in your money?” I snapped.
He smiled warmly. “Plenty. And that’s one reason why I don’t need one.”
I opened my mouth to answer, but Sasha tugged on my hair to get my attention. “Teddy chair,” she whined in my ear, obviously impatient to get to her room.
Nodding, I looked at Carson. “Your little girl wants to see her room. Let’s save this conversation for another time, huh?”