He lied so smoothly, without a trace of hesitation. If I didn’t know any better, I would have almost been convinced by it.
“I wonder, Mr Borden,” she responded thoughtfully, “did you make that promise to Kate too before she was violently murdered?”
Borden went still, and just like that, my stomach dropped. Time froze, and in that fleeting second, I saw a pain in Borden that went layers deep. His cover cracked, and he bled right there in front of me; all that raw pain he still harboured coming out of him. He took a deep breath in and held it in his lungs, slowly letting it back out again. The impassive face came back on, and he opened his mouth to respond.
“Don’t answer that, Marcus,” I quickly said.
His blue eyes shot to mine. I shook my head at him, mouthing “don’t” again. Then I turned to her. “That’s enough, Granny.”
She didn’t acknowledge me. Her reproachful stare burned into him as she carried on. “He goes on that he can protect you, that he is legitimate, and yet there are cars out front of our house and men around my home on the few occasions you see me. Tell me how she can be safe when you’re making an effort to protect her in the first place, Mr Borden? What is it that you’re protecting her from?”
“Granny,” I hissed, “stop it.”
“I need to know –”
“You need to stop –”
“I’m not going to stop until he answers –”
“That is enough!” Frustrated, I slammed my fist on the table, startling her. Bug eyed, she looked at me, a hand over her heart. Meanwhile my chest was rising and falling rapidly, my heart beating at an alarmingly fast pace.
This was a mistake. A big fucking mistake. I knew it would be. God, what had possessed me to do this in the first place? This never would have worked out. She would never accept us. I kept my eyes on my plate for a while, trying to calm my breathing down. I felt my vision blur with unshed tears, and I kept on breathing to block out the mess of thoughts firing through me. When I finally regained my composure, I looked at her again and said calmly, “No more questions.”
She just stared at me, like I was a stranger to her. Like she didn’t know me at all, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t break my heart. Swallowing hard, she slowly nodded.
We resumed eating, or at least we pretended to, and not another word was spoken the entire time. When we finished, I stood up and cleaned the table and put away the dishes. Meanwhile, Granny sat there, her body deflated, the look of hate still fierce as she glared at Borden.
“Time to go,” I stated to him.
He didn’t waste time. He stood up, looking between my grandmother and me with an unreadable look. Frowning, Granny watched his movements every step of the way. “I didn’t want to cause trouble,” Borden whispered into my hair as he passed me.
“You didn’t.”
“I’ll be in the car.”
I nodded. His lips twisted, and he turned his head to Granny on his way out, stopping by the threshold of the kitchen. Granny stared at him from the corner of her eye, her body unbearably still.
He sighed, and it felt like eons had passed before he finally spoke with conviction. “I did make Kate that promise, Mrs Warne. I told her everything would be okay, and I failed her. But I’m not going to fail your granddaughter. She wants me, and I make no apologies for wanting her too. She’s mine as long as she wants to be, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can resume your relationship with her.”
He disappeared out of the kitchen, and a moment later the front door closed. Now that we were alone, the wall she’d put up dropped. She looked at me, her devastation clear in her eyes. We both stared at one another, tears suddenly spilling over our faces.
“Granny,” I said hesitantly.
“I’m disappointed in you,” she whispered back, her voice broken. “And I’ve never felt that way toward you before. I’m having trouble coping, and if I have hurt you for the way I have reacted, I am sorry.”
I wiped my tears, pleading for her to understand. “I love him, Granny.”
She shut her eyes briefly. “Yes, I see that you love him. But when it comes down to it this man can’t promise that you won’t wind up dead the same way his former lover was. When you have too many enemies that want to watch you fall, one of them will always find a way. And that’s all it takes, Emma. Just one.”
Linda’s words ran through my mind. It only takes one.
“That’s not going to happen. I know what I’m doing, and you need to take a step back and trust me.”
“I trust you. I just don’t trust the man you’re with.”
There was a finality in her words. The conversation was over, and there was no point trying to make her understand differently. I hated that I was leaving her like this. I hated that I was going to walk out that door and today was going to burn in my memories forever. I’d spent so much of my time after my teenage years trying to impress her and show her I was a strong and independent woman, but I was pretty sure that was bullshit. Because the problem with love is you start doing things that your normal self wouldn’t be proud of. I had relinquished my independency to be with a man who had enemies bad enough to want to hurt me. It would sound dumb on paper that I would do something like that. But the heart is fucking dumb, and I was content to disappoint myself to make that muscle happy. Even if it meant disappointing my grandmother in the process.
Maybe time would change her mind.
I slowly walked over to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She wrapped hers around me too and despite our disappointments, we hugged each other. We loved each other.
“Come back on your own next time,” she whispered to me before I pulled away.
I nodded, wiping away a fresh tear that had fallen from her eye. I stared at her hard, looking into her warm dark eyes. “I love you, Granny, and I promise everything will be okay.”
She swallowed, her eyes watering further. “Don’t be concerned with me. Just take care of yourself.”
After another nod, I kissed her on the cheek and left.
*
Borden was quiet on the ride back. He held my hand, which was reassuring, but he looked out the window, staring off into the distance. Granny had hit a nerve, and I didn’t blame him for shutting right off. By the time we reached the apartment, he didn’t step out of the car with me.