Mom looked back at him, her eyes glistening as they lost themselves in each other. It was moments like these I realized they loved each other. That all the ugly fights meant nothing if we could have days like today.
She sat with me the entire day and we sang together. I never bonded with Mom before, but we’d found something to do together. The first song she ever sang to me was “Thank You” by Led Zeppelin, and I’d never forget the chills I felt as the words came pouring out of her mouth, like they were made to be sung by her. By the evening, she grew a little unsettled and sudden tears fell from her eyes. She excused herself and disappeared inside her room.
“It’s nothing you did,” Dad reassured me when he later came by to see how we were. “Mom’s just a little sick, okay?”
I frowned. “Will she ever get better?”
He nodded, a hopeful look on his face as he answered, “If she keeps taking her meds, she’ll be on the right track.”
There was a strict regime when it came to taking her meds. He had the key to the cabinet in the bathroom filled with all of her prescribed medications. On occasion, when he knew he was staying back at work, he’d give me the spare key and tell me to use it only emergencies. That if she lost a pill, I could be the one to replace it for her.
“Never give her the key,” he told me every time he did this. “You hide it somewhere she’ll never find it.”
“Okay,” I told him.
I’d usually hide the key in my sneakers, or under a rug somewhere in the house. Other times, I’d have it in my pocket, just to be sure it was with me. She never, ever found it, but then again, she never, ever asked for it anyway.
I grew close to her when she was on her meds. She was vibrant and funny. She was affectionate and warm. She was everything a mother should have been to her little boy, and I loved her. Vastly. She meant so much to me.
But there were still dark days.
There would always be dark days, my father said.
Ten
Leah
He wasn’t in bed when I woke up the next morning. The world had come back on, and reality settled in swiftly, but my heart was beating differently now. It wanted him all over again, and I groaned in exasperation at myself for falling so quickly into him.
I needed to get away.
I was weak. So, so weak. In an ideal world, I would have been that strong woman, turning the other cheek at the man responsible for so much emotional turmoil. In that world, I would be looked up to for such strength and determination. But in the real world, in all its ugly truths, I wasn’t that kind of woman. I was just a vessel of emotions. You couldn’t turn that off.
I got out of bed and dressed in a loose shirt and shorts. When I joined them on the deck outside for breakfast, I was happy that Molly was indeed gone. I could feel Carter’s eyes on me as I packed my plate with strips of bacon and eggs. My gaze found his on my way to the chair next to Marlena. He gave me a wistful smile, and I was too shaken up from last night’s events to return it.
We’d talked for hours.
We’d drank.
We’d kissed.
And we’d cuddled.
It was an epic fail on my part.
“This weather is perfect,” Marlena remarked. “Hot, but not humid.”
“It’s nothing like LA,” Alyssa returned with a snobby look.
“Sorry Abbotsford isn’t rocking your boat,” I sarcastically replied, unable to hide the bite in my tone. I felt like shit. My head was pounding, and I knew it was a goddamn hangover. When had I become such a lightweight?
Rome shot me a warning look and I ignored it as I took a small bite out of my food.
“Weather is weather,” grunted out Harold.
“And people are people,” Carter then inserted. “Hard to please.”
Rome exhaled in irritation and Alyssa rolled her eyes. The rest of us smiled as we ate.
Marlena turned to me, nudging me with her elbow. “I’m having dinner tonight. You should come around again. I love seeing you. It’s been so long, hasn’t it? You can invite Melanie, too.”
Rome noticeably stiffened. “No, Mom, not Melanie.”
“Why not? I like Melanie. She’s an incredible asset at the bar, and she doesn’t complain about unimportant things.” Marlena’s eyes flashed on Alyssa briefly, and I caught the gist of what she was getting at.
“She’s got work anyway,” I said, and it was luckily the truth.
“So then just you then,” Marlena urged with a smile.
I deliberated for a moment, feeling once more Carter’s stare. “I might,” I replied on a shrug. “I’ve got a long shift at work. I might not make it.”
“When do you get off?” Carter suddenly asked me.
“Um, mid-afternoon,” I answered ambiguously. I didn’t want to make promises I wasn’t sure I could keep, and that involved coming back here to have my senses wiped clean by the blue-eyed gorgeous man who effortlessly dazzled me with just one look.
“So come after that,” Carter replied. “We’ll be here.”
“Not like we can go anywhere,” whined Alyssa. “You didn’t bring the guys.”
“What guys?” I asked.
“Bodyguards,” Rome answered on a sigh. “I figured we’re only here two nights.”
“But I wanted to go out,” Alyssa complained, fussing like a three year old child. “I haven’t been stuck in a house for hours like this before.”
I caught Marlena’s irritated glance at Harold. Harold, as ever, pretended to be oblivious. I felt bad for them, especially when Rome started to argue with his girlfriend about staying.
“You should try to be a little more understanding,” I suddenly said, looking at Alyssa evenly. “Maybe out there in your world you get to go out and do whatever it is you do, but this visit isn’t about you. It’s about Rome seeing his parents for the first time in ten months.”
Alyssa immediately shut up, looking away from me, pouting. I knew it wasn’t my place to say that, but it was fucking true nonetheless. Marlena was too nice to put her in her place about it and Rome was just being a pussy.
What other choice did I have?
Checking the time, I quickly finished up my food and gulped all my juice down. Then I stood up and started to gather my things.
“I have to go,” I let everyone know. “My shift starts in an hour, and I’m cutting it close. Thanks for having me, guys.”