Kayden pointed at Heath’s chest. “Yours?”
“Yes, champ, mine.”
Heath and Kayden had a connection I couldn’t rival. Kayden loved me, but his attachment to Heath was deeper than it was with me. I wasn’t jealous by it. I thought it was beautiful, and I knew it had given Heath a great purpose in life. A part of him was reserved specifically for Kayden. I understood their love well. I’d been the same when I was young. I was attached to the hip with my father.
My father who hadn’t taken his life like I thought he did.
I couldn’t think about it anymore in fear of breaking down again.
I left Heath and Kayden like that, chatting to each other as more animal sounds erupted. I entered the bathroom in the master bedroom and stripped. Standing in front of the mirror, I spun around, taking in every single inch of my body. I didn’t do this often like I did after I’d had Kayden. God, I’d been plastered to every imperfection back then, but now… Well, now they suited me and I’d learned to accept change. Change not just in myself, but in everything around me.
I stepped into the shower and drenched myself in hot water. I quickly shaved and brushed my teeth, getting all the essential parts of cleanliness out of the way. The door opened as I rinsed my mouth and Heath stepped in. He gave me one look before he threw his own clothes off and joined me.
“Little man’s fallen back asleep,” he told me, grabbing the body scrub and squirting it on the loofah.
“I think he purposely gets up so you can read him that book,” I remarked, smiling at him.
He nodded and turned my back against him. Slowly, he ran the loofah up and down my spine.
“I don’t mind it. I love every minute I get with him.”
He lathered all of my back and ass before pulling me flush against his front. I shut my eyes when he started to kiss along my shoulder. His hand palmed my breast and he lightly stroked at my nipple. I arched my back to him and pressed my ass into his cock. He tensed at the feeling and sucked a little harder.
“Heath,” I moaned.
Slowly his lips climbed up my neck before wrapping around my earlobe. Tremors wracked my body and I gasped when his other hand travelled between my thighs. He only lightly brushed along my clit, stirring small bursts of pleasure. It was so nice to finally be touched! To finally be wanted after he’d avoided me like a plague over something meaningless like his brother.
“You want me, don’t you?” he asked breathlessly, hardening from behind the more he touched me.
I opened my glazed eyes. “Just you. I promise.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you.”
“Even after everything?”
I grabbed at his hand to stop him, and he stilled. I turned to him and wrapped a hand behind his neck. With the other one, I lightly ran my finger along his passive face, tracing the lines along his forehead before sliding my fingertip down his straight nose. Then I went over the curve of his lips, wishing for them to pull up into a smile. I missed that smile more than anything. I missed his stark humour. His ego and his confidence. Aside from his immense love for us, he was a shell.
My fingers then moved away from his face and slid slowly down to his throat. His entire being froze when I went over the thick line. I traced it from ear to ear before glancing into his pained eyes. I frowned at the sadness that lurked there.
“Even after everything,” I whispered to him as the water beat down on us. “I’m never leaving your side. Even after everything, I’ve stuck by you because we belong together.”
He swallowed hard and leaned down to kiss me. I stopped him again. His brows came together in confusion.
“As much as I love you, though,” I added, fighting back my emotions, “I still miss the old Heath. The one that smiled and stole my heart away.”
He considered my words, those eyes leaping from side to side. Then he managed a stiff nod, and I let him kiss me after that. I let him pick me up and lead me to the bedroom where he placed me on the edge of the bed and slid into me hard. He took me with desperate need, biting and nipping at my flesh while I dug my fingers into his back and encouraged him not to stop. Harder and harder, he pounded within me, like he wanted to leave a part of himself long after he’d finished. He dug his strong fingers deep into my flesh, thrusting into me with his heart out in the open.
And regardless of his search for pleasure and something more, he still made me come first. He took into consideration my own needs, showing me there was still a huge part of his old self buried within him. He stared into my eyes, and they were bright and filled with love. He put his guard down when he took me, and he muttered his love in my ear, saying it more to himself than to me.
Heath was still there, lurking in the corners of his being, begging to show on the surface. But he was concealed with a roughness I knew was impenetrable to anyone he didn’t care for.
Afterwards, when we were sprawled on top of one another, stroking each other’s hair, I opened my mouth and told him everything Ryker said to me in the motel. I ran it through to him several times, and vented my frustrations and cried against his chest as he held me tighter, giving me the affection I craved.
Heath didn’t look surprised by any of the news, and I went to bed wondering why it seemed like he already knew.
Fifteen
Heath
“They’re back again,” Marko told me, nudging my side.
Juggling my toothpick from one corner of my mouth to the other, I turned away from the two men sparring in the boxing ring and looked toward the entrance. Walking into our gym was another group of men from the Syndicate. I watched them wearily, wondering where in the fuck they had the balls to come in here and demand more answers like they fucking owned the place.
I knew this was going to happen. Nobody like Marko or me would have been able to leave their jobs and buy in cash a warehouse and revamp the entire interior into the largest, most modern gym around. We weren’t depending on New Year’s customers with failing resolutions to pay our bills. No, we were making our money using the boxing ring. After striking an expensive deal with the local police to keep it running for underground fights, we drew a crowd in every week. More people showed up now that it was in a more professional looking environment. Furthermore, Marko hired a whole line up of scantily clad ladies to serve drinks and food on those days, creating a bit of eye candy – and eye candy was good for business, I learned.