She toyed with the belt to her bathrobe for a moment, until he took her hand in his. She looked at him. “Was last night everything you’d hoped for?”
Gabriel exhaled sharply, for her question had taken him by surprise. “That’s a strange question.”
“I know it had to be different for you. I wasn’t very…active.”
“Active? What are you talking about?”
“I didn’t do much to please you.” She blushed.
He stroked the flushing skin lightly with the tip of his finger. “You pleased me a great deal. I know you were nervous, but I enjoyed myself tremendously. We belong to one another now—in every way. What else is troubling you?”
“I demanded that we switch positions when you would have preferred me on top.”
“You didn’t demand, you asked. Frankly, Julianne, I’d like to hear you demand things of me. I want to know that you want me as desperately as I want you.” His expression relaxed, and he drew a circle or two around her breast. “You dreamed about your first time being a certain way. I wanted to give that to you, but I was worried. What if you were uncomfortable? What if I wasn’t careful enough? Last night was a first for me too.”
He released her, pouring coffee and steamed milk from two separate carafes into a latté bowl and spreading the tray of food between them on the banquette. There were pastries and fruit, toast and Nutella, boiled eggs and cheese, and several Baci Perugina Gabriel had bribed a hotel employee to run out and purchase along with the extravagant bouquet of irises from the Giardino dell’Iris.
Julia unwrapped one of the Baci and ate it, eyes closed with pure pleasure. “You ordered a feast.”
“I awoke ravenous this morning. I would have waited for you but…” He shook his head as he picked up a grape and fixed her with a sparkling eye. “Open.”
She opened her mouth, and he popped the grape inside, tracing his finger temptingly across her lower lip.
“And you must drink this, please.” He handed her a wine glass filled with cranberry juice and soda.
She rolled her eyes. “You’re overprotective.”
He shook his head. “This is how a man behaves when he’s in love and he wants his sweetheart healthy for all the sex he plans on having with her.” He winked smugly.
“I’m not going to ask how you know about such things. Give me that.” She grabbed the glass from his hand and downed it, her eyes focused on his, as he chuckled.
“You’re adorable.”
She stuck her tongue out at him before fixing herself a breakfast plate.
“How do you feel this morning?” Gabriel’s face grew concerned.
She swallowed a piece of Fontina cheese. “Okay.”
He pressed his lips together firmly, as if her answer displeased him.
“Making love changes things between a man and a woman,” he prompted.
“Um, aren’t you happy with, uh, what we did?” The pink of her cheeks faded immediately, leaving her pale.
“Of course I’m happy. I’m trying to find out if you’re happy. And based upon what you’ve said so far, I’m worried that you aren’t.”
Julia picked at the fabric of her robe, avoiding Gabriel’s probing gaze. “When I was at college the girls on my floor would sit around and talk about their boyfriends. One night they told stories about their first times.” She nibbled at the tip of one of her fingers.
“Only a few of the girls had good things to say. The other stories were awful. One girl had been molested as a child. Some of the girls had been forced by a boyfriend or a date. Several of them said that their first times were completely awkward and unfulfilling—a boyfriend grunting and finishing quickly. I thought, if that’s all I can hope for, I’d rather stay a virgin.”
“That’s horrible.”
She fixed her eyes on the breakfast tray.
“I wanted to be loved. I decided it would be better to have a chaste affair of the heart and mind through letters than a sexual relationship. I had my doubts that I would ever find anyone who could give me both. Certainly, Simon didn’t love me. Now I’m in a relationship with a sex god, and I can’t give him anything like the pleasure he gives me.”
Gabriel’s eyebrows shot up. “Sex god? You’ve said that before, but believe me, I’m not—”
She interrupted him, looking him straight in the eye. “Teach me. I’m sure last night was not as, um…fulfilling as it usually is for you, but I promise that if you are patient with me, I will improve.”
He cursed obliquely. “Come here.” He pulled her around the breakfast tray and into his lap again, wrapping his arms around her. He was quiet for a moment, before sighing deeply.
“You assume that my previous sexual encounters were completely fulfilling, but you’re wrong. You gave me what I’ve never had—love and sex together. You’re the only one who has ever been my lover in the true sense.”
He kissed her gently in solemn confirmation of his words. “The anticipation and the allure of a woman are crucial to the experience. I can safely say that your allurements and my anticipation were like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. Add to that the experience of making love for the first time…Words fail me.”
She nodded but something about her movement disquieted him.
“I promise I’m not flattering you.” He paused as if he were pondering his next words carefully. “At the risk of being Neanderthal, I should probably tell you that your innocence is tremendously erotic. The thought that I can be the one to teach you about sex…that someone so modest is also so passionate…” His voice trailed off as he looked at her intently. “You could become more skilled in the art of love by learning new tricks and new positions, but you can’t become more attractive or more sexually fulfilling. Not to me.”
Julia leaned over and kissed him. “Thank you for taking such good care of me last night,” she whispered, her cheeks turning pink.
“As for Paulina, I’ll deal with her. Please put her out of your mind.”
Julia turned her attention back to her uneaten breakfast, resisting the urge to argue with him. “Will you tell me about your first time?”
“I’d rather not.”
She busied herself with a pastry as she tried to think of a safer subject. The financial woes of Europe came readily to mind.
He rubbed at his eyes with both hands, covering them briefly. It would be far too easy to lie, he knew, but after all she’d given him, she deserved to know his secrets. “You remember Jamie Roberts.”
“Of course.”
Gabriel lowered his hands. “I lost my virginity to her.”
Julia’s eyebrows shot up. Jamie and her domineering mother had never been very pleasant to Julia, and she had always disliked them. She had no idea that Officer Roberts, who had investigated Simon’s attack on her a month previous, had been Gabriel’s first.
“It was not the greatest of experiences,” he said quietly. “In fact, I would say it was scarring. I didn’t love her. There was some attraction, of course, but no true affection. We went to Selinsgrove High School together. She sat next to me in History one year.” He shrugged. “We flirted and messed around after school and eventually…
“Jamie was a virgin but lied and said she wasn’t. I wasn’t attentive to her at all. I was selfish and stupid.” He cursed. “She said it didn’t hurt much, but there was blood afterward. I felt like an animal and I’ve always regretted it.” Gabriel cringed, and Julia felt the guilt radiating from him. His description made her almost ill, but it also explained a great deal.
“That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.” She squeezed his hand. “Is that why you were so worried last night?”
He nodded.
“She misled you.”
“That’s no excuse for my behavior, before or afterward.” He cleared his throat. “She assumed we were in a relationship, but I wasn’t interested. That made it worse, of course. I graduated from being merely an animal to being an animal and an asshole. When I saw her at Thanksgiving, I hadn’t spoken to her in years. I asked her to forgive me. She was remarkably gracious.
“I’ve always felt guilty for treating her badly. I’ve stayed away from virgins ever since.” He swallowed noisily. “Until last night.
“First times are supposed to be sweet, but seldom are. While you were worrying about pleasing me, I was worrying about pleasing you. Perhaps I was too careful, too protective, but I couldn’t have borne it if I’d hurt you.”
Julia put her breakfast aside and stroked his face. “You were very gentle and very generous. I’ve never known such joy, and that’s because you loved me with more than just your body. Thank you.”
As if to prove her point, he kissed her deeply. Julia hummed as his hands tangled through her hair, and she wrapped her arms about his neck. He slid his hands between them to the front of her robe, parting it hesitantly. He lifted his head, his eyes questioning.
She nodded.
He began whispering kisses against her neck and drew his mouth up to tug at her earlobe. “How do you feel?”
“Great,” she whispered as his lips skimmed down to her throat.
He moved so he could see her face while one of his hands traveled to rest atop her lower abdomen. “Are you sore?”
“A little.”
“Then we should wait.”
“No!”
He laughed, his lips curling up into his signature seductive smile. “Did you mean what you said last night about making love out here?”
She shivered at the way his voice inflamed her but returned his smile, winding her fingers in his hair, tugging him closer. He opened her robe and began to explore her curves with both hands before dropping his mouth to kiss her breasts.
“You were shy with me this morning.” He pressed a reverent kiss over her heart “What changed?”
Julia brushed against the hint of a dimple in his chin. “I will probably always be a little shy about being naked. But I want you. I want you to look into my eyes and tell me you love me as you move inside me. I will remember that as long as I live.”
“I’ll keep reminding you,” he breathed.
He divested her of her robe and positioned her on her back. “Are you cold?”
“Not when you’re holding me,” she whispered, smiling. “Wouldn’t you rather have me on top? I’d like to try it.”
He threw off his robe and boxer shorts quickly and covered her body with his own, placing a hand on either side of her face. “Someone might see you out here, darling. And I can’t have that. No one gets to see this beautiful body except me.
“Although the neighbors and passersby might be able to hear you…for the next hour or so…” He chuckled as she inhaled sharply, a tremor of pleasure coursing all the way down to her toes.
He kissed her, pushing her hair away from her face. “My goal is to see how many times I can please you before I can’t hold back anymore.”
