“You’ve completely destroyed Ryker’s room, Heath!”
“No shit.”
“Why? Because of what happened between us?” When he didn’t respond, I demanded loudly, “Tell me why!”
“Because I fucked you on his bed!” he shouted, pointing the bat in the direction of the bed. “And that’s where he took you time and time again. Do you know how fucked up that is, Allie?”
“Do you know how fucked up it is that you’re breaking everything as a result?!”
“Because that selfish bastard doesn’t deserve this shit!” He threw the bat at the lamp on the night table, shattering it instantly.
My heart rate skyrocketed. “What has gotten into you?”
Taking a step forward, he stared at me wildly and screamed, “You! You’ve gotten into me! Into every part of me! I can’t fucking think of anything but you! You’ve fucking wrecked me, Allie! And I hate you for it. I hate you for loving him instead! I hate you for doing what you did because of how angry you are at him, because of how much you’re trying to deny your love for him–”
“I didn’t kiss you, or ask you to touch me because I wanted to deny my love for Ryker,” I cut in, shocked that he’d think this way. “That’s stupid, Heath. I wanted to touch you for the same reasons you wanted to touch me.”
“But you’re his.”
“I’m not anybody’s!”
He shook his head and turned away from me, kicking at a random pile of junk on the floor. He ran both hands through his hair as he looked on with an empty expression.
“He doesn’t deserve you,” he said quietly, “but he loves you so fucking much. He’s desperate. And I just ruined everything. Fell for his girl. Pregnant with his baby, and still I fell for her hard. And then I fucked her.”
My throat closed and fresh tears fell from my eyes.
“I betrayed him. He trusted me and I… fucking laughed at him behind his back.”
“You forget how much he laughed behind ours.”
He turned his head at me and glared. “So what then? Are we meant to sink to his level? Look what we just did to him, Allie!”
“What about what he did to me?” I retorted, raising my voice as I went on. “Or you? He decided to mess everything up by selling crack on the side! Why should we be considerate of his feelings when he didn’t give a FUCK about ours?!”
“Because that’s what separates us from people like him!”
I didn’t reply for a moment. I stared at him hard and shook my head. “No, Heath. When someone throws people like us away over their own selfish wants, that doesn’t mean we should keep treating them as if they hadn’t. Ryker doesn’t deserve to be put on a pedestal. No amount of him missing me or loving me will change that. I decided a long time ago I was through with him –”
“Then why didn’t you say anything?” he cut in. “I asked you how many times if you were waiting for him and you said nothing. You had every day to go down there and tell him you were done.”
“I broke up with him a long time ago –”
“You reacted emotionally. He doesn’t think you meant it.”
“I haven’t changed my mind.”
“Then tell him that!”
I cringed. “You want me to go and tell a desperate man in a shithole that what he’s holding onto isn’t waiting for him on the other side?” More tears fell as I felt the anger in my voice rise. “You and I know it’s easier said than done!”
“And it’ll only get harder the more time passes. On him and you.”
I turned away from him. I wasn’t ready to confront Ryker. There was still too much anger and raw hate there. There was no point in arguing like this. I knew it was going to get nowhere.
I picked up my backpack off the floor and quietly said, “What happened between us was something I wanted. It had nothing to do with your brother. You weren’t a distraction, Heath.”
“He needs to know.”
I said nothing.
“Allie,” he pressed, “do it. Tell him you’re done. He doesn’t deserve you. He’s a fuck-up. He… He’s done a lot.”
“I know that.”
“No, you don’t. I haven’t told you everything.”
Frowning, I looked at him. “What do you mean?”
He swallowed hard and took a seat on the edge of the bed amidst the pile of junk scattered around him. He set his elbows on each knee and kept his gaze fixed on a spot on the wall. My unease crept up at his troubled demeanour.
“He owed the gang he worked for a lot of money,” he explained in a vacant voice. “The money he got caught with by the police was meant to be paid to them. I’ve been handed that debt to pay off.”
My backpack fell from my hands in shock. I took a hesitant step forward. “Why were you told to pay it off?”
“Because I’m his brother. This is the kind of shit these people will do, Allie. It’s not new.”
“How long have you known this?”
“I knew about the dollar amount two nights ago. The actual guy showed up a while back and told me he’d let me know about it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me right away?”
Those deep brown eyes went up to meet mine. He licked his lip slowly, uttering, “Because you didn’t deserve to be weighed down by him. I didn’t want you to worry. I wanted you to focus on your pregnancy and classes. You don’t need his shit on top of it all.”
Slowly I went to him and took a seat on the edge of the bed beside him. Horror and fear settled in. These were bad people.
“Heath, we have to go to the police.”
“We go to the police, they’ll know about it. They’ll go after Ryker in jail. They’re that connected.”
“How much money are we talking about here?”
“Fifty grand.”
My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. “What?”
He nodded slowly, pursing his lips. “Yeah. Thug is demanding fifteen by next Sunday.”
I felt nothing short of horror. “Where are we going to get that kind of money from? I knew I should have been working. I should have –”
“Don’t you dare blame yourself for anything,” he cut in sternly. “It’s not the time for ‘shoulda, coulda’. It’s the time for figuring it out, okay?”