“But you did?”
“Did being the operative word.”
“Huh.” That smirk vanished as his eyes wandered my face. It suddenly occurred to me that he could see my scars, and the horror of that realization felt like a rocket exploding inside of me. There was no part of me that wasn’t feeling vulnerable and judged. I turned away from his stare and looked behind me in search of Emily. Maybe I could use her as an excuse to get away. I’d thank my stranger for my wallet and be gone and save him the awkwardness of having to ditch me somehow.
“Do you want to go someplace quiet?” I heard him ask.
My brows came together in confusion as I continued to look away. “Why?”
“Too loud in here.”
“I can’t just go. I didn’t come here alone.”
When he went quiet, I glanced at him. His face lost all charm, and he suddenly looked cold. “Did you come here with a man?” he demanded tightly.
My eyes widened. “It’s my friend. The one on the train you saw all that time ago, if you remember. A girl.”
He visibly relaxed, but his mouth still formed a hard line. “Didn’t want to come alone?”
“You thought I was stupid enough?”
That hard line broke and he smiled with amusement. “Don’t I have the right to?”
“Why do you have the right to?”
“Slipping your wallet into my pocket wasn’t the brightest thing, was it?”
I flushed. He was right. It was the dumbest thing you could think of at the time, but I was strangely thrilled it’d sort of paid off. Even though it took a bloody year. Man, how screwed up was I?
“How about we get out of here?” he then said, taking a step closer. He was at least a foot taller than me, even in my heels.
“You told me to come here and now you want to go?”
“Wanted you to see me in a social environment so you didn’t feel uneasy.”
“Should I feel uneasy?”
He shrugged. “You don’t know me. You spoke to me once. I thought it was a good idea.”
“Could have asked me to lunch at a restaurant or something.”
That smile formed again, and my breath thinned at the raw beauty he was exuding. Was he even aware of it? “I couldn’t get away until now. My days are usually full. Whereas my nights…” His words trailed away as he looked expectantly at me.
Even though he could see all my face, I couldn’t look away from his eyes if I tried. I was in a way glad I didn’t have to hide something so obvious. I just guessed he’d have wanted nothing to do with me when he realized I wasn’t what he once remembered.
So this was all confusing to me.
“I told you I have a friend–”
“Tell her you’re coming with me,” he interrupted, not backing down.
When I didn’t respond, he added, “If you really wanted to get away with me, you would. If you don’t, then I’m wasting my time here and I’ll leave. So decide quickly because I’m not a very patient man when I want something, and I’m not desperate enough to beg.”
Well then.
Shivers ran through me. I looked behind me, searching once again for Emily. Could I really just ditch her? But then again, she’d understand, wouldn’t she? Besides, this was a man I’d been fantasizing about since the dawn of time.
Friends matter the most, Claire. She’s been with you through thick and thin. She took you out to have fun. With her. Ditching her would be low!
I looked back at my stranger. The one I still didn’t even know the name of. The one whose eyes and demeanour spoke of a hardness I wasn’t sure could be softened.
“Thank you for returning my wallet to me,” I found myself saying, despite the way my body was pleading for me to go with him. “I’m sorry for wasting your night coming here.”
“Is this all your way of saying no to me?”
“I don’t know you. I don’t trust you either. So yeah, that’s a no.”
I could tell that was not the response Stranger was expecting, and frankly neither did I. Never before had I listened to my brain more than my body, and it wasn’t very satisfying.
Fuck you, common sense. You’re a bitch, and I hate you.
Shooting him a fake smile, I said, “Good night,” and turned away from him before those eyes entrenched me in my spot.
I couldn’t believe I just blew off the man I’d been fantasizing about for endless nights. But he gave me an ultimatum, and that shit didn’t sit well with me, no matter how hot he was.
Halfway back to where I had been before seeing him, I glanced back. Disappointment crushed me immediately.
He was already gone.
Chapter Five
Maybe I am desperate
Because it was 11pm when I decided to leave, the bus service was still running. I managed to catch two buses back to my house, and it was weird being the only dolled up person in a mini-dress among leering people. I heard the word “skank” and “freak” muttered under the breaths of many rugged-up women. Bitches.
The freak bit always soured me and reminded me why I didn’t venture out. It wasn’t easy to be laughed at. Call me a slut all you want, but to attack my appearance was fucking low.
I was in an irritable mood. Totally unimpressed with Emily who ended up ditching me for some blonde haired, steroid injector with the bubbliest muscles I’d ever seen. She tried playing it off by introducing me to one of his friends – a drunk man who kept going on about what a soulful musician he was. Did she really think I was going to go home with him? When did I give her the impression I was desperate to get laid?
On that note, my vagina had collected enough dust to put newly recovered mummies from Ancient Egypt to shame. That was depressing.
Now I was bitter and regretful of cutting things short with my stranger – a man I was positive I would never see again. Why did the world consistently want to take a dump on my life? I could hear the violins of despair playing in the background, mocking me wherever I went. I was so bloody dramatic, even I was sick of myself!
I kicked a stone along the sidewalk on my way to my house. As I passed my neighbour who was throwing a party, I kept having to stop and pull the bottom of my dress down. The last thing I wanted was to flash my ass to a bunch of drunk men.
I opened my clutch and withdrew my key on my walk up the driveway. I stopped by Mom’s hatchback to make sure it was locked up tight before walking up the few steps to my porch. The second I made it to the top, a voice broke through the chilly air.