I took this as my cue to go. Whatever was going on, Jamie was well aware of it. So I took a last bite out of my bagel and said, “I’m going to have a shower.”
They didn’t acknowledge me as I stepped out, but as I climbed the stairs I could hear them having a heated conversation.
Chapter Seventeen
Unimaginably
Sitting on the edge of the bed later that night, I watched him pack a small suitcase of clothes. He was going away for a week. We’d never been away from each other for that long, and I was bummed out to say the least.
“I’m leaving you my apartment key,” he told me as he zipped up his suitcase.
“Why?”
He shrugged. “Because in case anything ever happens, I want you to know you have another roof you can sleep under.”
“What could possibly happen?”
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, avoiding eye contact as he said, “Claire, the truth is I’m giving you the key because I want our relationship to take that extra step.”
I stilled. “Oh.” Sometimes I could be so dense. “I didn’t even consider you were thinking along those lines.”
His jaw clenched as he turned away from me and sorted through his closet endlessly. Having not pulled a single thing out, he seemed to be doing this as a distraction.
“We’ve been inseparable,” he muttered thoughtfully. “You’re imprinted in my mind. How could I not be thinking along those lines? Have I not been doing this right?”
I frowned. “Doing what right?”
Exhaling, he finally turned, casting me a lost look. “I don’t know the first thing when it comes to relationships. I’m just as lost as you.”
“Why is that?”
“Because of my life,” he said, hesitating. “The travel and the…”
“But you haven’t been traveling much at all.”
He chuckled disdainfully. “That’s because I didn’t want to be away from you, and it’s caused some problems lately. I’m overdue on taking care of issues I should have dealt with ages ago.”
He looked at me again. “If I’m not doing right in vocalising how I feel then…”
“Then what?” I eagerly asked.
“Then let me know and I’ll try to do a better job.”
I smiled. “So try better and tell me how you feel.”
God, sometimes he could look at me so intensely it gave me the same reaction to him touching me. This was one of those moments, and it made my heart thump faster.
He said softly, “I feel like I’m dreaming. I feel like you’re too good to be true. Like any second someone’s going to shake me awake and I’ll have been in a coma these last few months.”
I swallowed a lump, and I was sure my eyes glistened with unshed tears.
“I feel like that too,” I replied.
He smiled softly and approached me. He knelt down in front of me and rubbed his thumb along my cheek sweetly.
“You’re special to me,” he said.
“What makes me special to you?”
“You’re different.”
“And what’s so great about that?”
As he roamed his finger over my scars, he answered, “I love different.”
He kissed me softly then and his hand slowly descended, gripping me possessively, hunger in his touch.
“We have time, you know,” he whispered against my lips.
“For more yogurt tasting, you mean?”
He chuckled. “Especially yogurt tasting.”
“You’re sick.”
“And you love it.”
Oh yes, I admitted to myself as he pushed my back against the mattress.
I fucking loved it.
“And do you know what else you love even more?” he huskily asked as he stripped me of my shorts and pressed his body against mine.
“What?” I let out, closing my eyes to the feel of his hands roaming me.
“Me.”
I stilled and opened my eyes. We both paused for a long moment.
“Yeah,” I finally admitted, swallowing hard again. “I do.”
“Say it,” he demanded. “Tell me you love me.”
“I love you.”
“Unequivocally?”
“Unimaginably.”
He stroked my hair away from my face and nodded. “I love you too, Claire Landon,” he declared with conviction. “Beyond the depths of my soul, I truly do.”
“Really?”
“Have I ever lied?”
“No.”
“Then there you go.”
I felt warm everywhere. This was by far the best moment of my life.
He captured my lips with his and kissed me softly and slowly. No tongue action, no hastiness for more. Just light brushing of the lips, feeling them move and press against my own. I sighed contentedly against him, before he moved away and dropped down next to me. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me over top of him.
Those long hands roved up and down my back, his finger in particular inching over my spine. It tingled under his touch. Oh, I liked this intimacy. This slow, no worded dance of the lips and hands. I rested my breasts against his chest and they ached at the contact.
He flicked his tongue against my mouth, and my body heated immediately. Something about his tongue drove me wild. It made our kiss transition immediately into something more. His eagerness bellowed out of him, until it was teeth and tongue and licks.
“Put my cock inside you,” he demanded.
I sat up and gripped his length in my hand. I pumped him twice before I situated myself over him. I slowly took his tip to me and sank down. We both moaned at the same time as I took him all the way inside. I was all feeling now, my eyes glazed over, my body moving slowly with no particular rhythm. He gripped my hip tightly with one hand and helped me along. Thrusting in, thrusting out. He breathed hard, trying not to take over as his other hand drifted up my body, traveling to my breast, my collarbone, my neck and back down again.
Just like always, he looked at me. Not my body. But into my eyes. Panting heavily in his pool of pleasure, his eyes remained solidly locked to mine.
And it didn’t ever feel like an invasion. It felt good and right. I stared back into the warmth of his beautiful grey irises and moved at my own pace, quietly breathing and quietly groaning.
“Perfect,” he whispered as he drove himself into me, losing every ounce of control as we neared the end. “Take me all the way in.”