I nodded. “I guess.”
She skimmed her eyes up and down my body, looking more thoughtful as the moments passed. “So, is there a boy I should know about?”
I rolled my eyes. “Mom.”
She shrugged, running a hand through her long hair. “I’m just asking! I’m curious to know why you’re suddenly wanting to go out and get dressy.”
“It’s Emily’s fault,” I half-lied. “She made me pick a dare card.”
Mom groaned in dismay. “Please tell me you’re not going to run around naked again! I had enough complaints the last time.”
I let out a soft laugh at the memory of one of our neighbours Miss Tetley (withered with age and carrying rosary beads wherever she went) knocking on our door to complain about my ungodly mannerism. “Your child’s strayed from the lord, Mrs Landon,” she’d droned in a hushed tone, unaware I was nearby. “I would do something quick about it before she’s lost to sin forever!”
I shook off that memory with a silly grin and said, “No, Mom. It said to go out and party, hence the dress.”
Mom nodded, but I spotted the shadow of concern in her eyes. “Do you know where you’ll be going?”
“No bars,” I assured her. “I won’t be drinking. Believe me.”
She looked relieved. “Okay, that’s very good. I just want you to make smart decisions. I know I wasn’t… you know… around to be a better parent to you when you needed me the most, and I sound silly to be telling you to watch out now because of it –”
“Mom, none of it was your fault,” I interrupted her, solemnly. I stared at our reflection, keeping my eyes pinned to hers earnestly. “I was out of control. It wasn’t your doing.”
She nodded again, this time swallowing back a lump in her throat. Looking away, she sniffed and said, “How about you invite Miles out with you? He just got back.”
Miles was our neighbour. I’d barely seen him around lately. He was in his mid-twenties and a pretty good guy. Whenever he was around, Mom proved he was useful by making him do fix-ups around the house. He worked out at the mines, and his swings took him away from the house for weeks at a time.
He was also incredibly annoying.
“No, Mom,” I told her tiredly. “That’s just weird.”
“Why is that weird?”
“Because he’s my neighbour, and sometimes people are better off being labelled. Like your gardener, or mailman, or doctor. In this case, neighbour.”
“Why do you have a thing against him? All the time you’re shrinking away from him.”
Because all the time he’s tried coming onto me! My hobo attire did not deter the super weird, and Miles was super weird.
“Just no, Mom,” I told her simply with closed eyes and a short shake of the head.
She frowned. “Well then, fine. Let me get this dress for you and then we’ll grab some dinner.”
Happy to not talk about Miles, I said, “Sounds good.”
By the end of the night, I’d had more conversation with Mom than in the last month alone. I didn’t regret a single moment.
Chapter Four
Not a tourist after all
I’d been trembling for two hours straight. I’d showered, straightened my hair and put the dress on. Emily stood before me, expertly applying my make-up. She’d have been a tremendous make-up artist if her mother hadn’t pressured her to go into nursing.
She didn’t remark on the tears that shone in my eyes every few minutes that I managed to keep from falling, and I was glad. I didn’t want another pity party. It was embarrassing enough letting her know without words how weak I was. God, what had nine months of being a hermit done to me?
I wanted to stay home in bed. I wanted to read and wear my mammoth clothes. I wanted to feel invisible. A part of me was tempted to do just that. But as time passed, my body robotically went through the motions, and I was sitting here now realizing I was about to step foot out there again.
“So any reason for Club Zero in particular?” Emily asked me curiously.
“It’s just been a while since we’ve been there,” I answered vaguely.
“Oh.” She didn’t believe me, but she nodded anyway. “That’s the lamest answer in the world, but whatever. That’ll do for now.”
I shot her a small smile. “Believe me, you don’t want to know the real reason.”
“Why?”
“Because you’d freak out.”
The brush against my cheek paused. She blinked at me in surprise. “What are you keeping from me?”
“I don’t know just yet,” I replied, not meaning to sound mysterious, but I did. “If anything interesting happens to me, I’ll tell you everything.”
“And if nothing interesting happens?”
“Then we’ll forget all about this conversation because I’ll be too humiliated to talk about it.”
She let out a colourful curse and retorted, “But you’re my best friend. You’re meant to tell me everything, even the humiliating stuff.”
“Oh, please. How many stories have you kept from me?”
“Name one, liar.”
“Two words: Prom. Night.”
She flinched and her cheeks flamed. “Fuck you, Claire Landon.”
I smiled widely now. She’d never revealed to me who she went home with on Prom Night. She’d showed up with some hunk of a jock, but he was found doing some other chick when the night was out. I didn’t understand the secrecy, but I was glad for it now. Who knew one day it’d be used against her?
“Is your mum gone?” she then asked. “Or is she doing another late shift?”
“She’s gone to see Kevin,” I answered. “Took two weeks holiday off.”
“How’s that relationship going?”
“On and off.” All thanks to me. After I’d been attacked, she’d withdrawn from her relationship with Kevin to be there for me. They’d been a solid couple for two years at that point, and to say he was shocked was an understatement. He’d always been an all-around good guy. An engineer by trade with kids of his own, he and Mom got along right from the start. Around the time she broke things off, he’d been offered a job in Melbourne. Angry at her, he took it. Needless to say, they mended their relationship after a few months and he regretted the move. I was glad to see Mom smiling again.