The bouncers at the door smiled and did the one-handed backslap shoulder bump with O’Connell that told me he knew them well. They shot the breeze while I stood by silently, contemplating how long it would take hypothermia to set in. After a few minutes, we bypassed the large queue and entered the club. The noise inside was deafening. O’Connell turned to speak to me, but it was pretty clear that I couldn’t hear him this close to the speakers, so he led me toward the back of the club. I felt a small amount of relief when I spotted our guys already seated there.
“Em!” they all seemed to call out in chorus.
I blushed, but I was happy that they were pleased to see me. It amazed me how many shoulder bumps and backslaps the guys gave O’Connell, given that most of them probably only saw each other a few hours ago.
“What do you want to drink, baby?” O’Connell spoke into my ear from behind me.
It was easier to hear at this end of the club, but I loved the way that his lips softly skimmed the shell of my ear as he spoke. It sent delicate shivers down my body, and I knew that O’Connell felt it too when he squeezed my waist.
“I’ll have an orange juice, please.”
“You don’t want to drink?”
I studied my surroundings and bit my lip. A drink probably would help me relax a little more so that I wasn’t so uptight and on edge, but the idea of voluntarily conceding control of my senses in a public space made me shudder. It made me more vulnerable than I was usually, and despite the small army of gladiators around me, I couldn’t help but wonder whether they’d notice if I went missing. From a place like this, it would only take Frank seconds to snatch me, and nobody would be any the wiser. Most of them clearly looked as though they got an early start at the bar, and given the number of women they were attracting, I would soon be lost in the crowd. I knew I was paranoid, but the foundation of my fear was strong, and I had the scars to prove it. It was scary how O’Connell could read me so well already, enough to sense my insecurity. He hadn’t pressed me about my past, but he knew that something had happened. The fact that he didn’t push the subject made me fall for him a little deeper. Strong arms wrapped around my waist, and he pulled me into his embrace, my back tight to his chest. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply as he buried his head in the crook of my neck and everything just fell away. The blaringly loud music, the shouts of drunken men vying to be heard over one another, the high pitched giggles of flirtation, the chink of glasses, everything. It all fell away until there was only O’Connell and I. There was the tantalisingly sweet aroma of his aftershave, the warmth of his hands spread across my hips, and the strength of conviction in his voice.
“Don’t panic, sunshine. I’m here with you, and I’m not going anywhere. If I go to the bar or the bathroom, then one of the other guys will be watching, and I promise that they won’t let you out of their sight. You’re mine, and that means you’re un-fucking-touchable, okay, baby?”
I nodded and relaxed against him. I didn’t know how he did it, but inside of O’Connell’s embrace, the rest of the world ceased to exist. None of the bullshit on the outside could touch us. I gave him something to protect, and he gave me something to cherish.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“There’s nothing to feel sorry for, sunshine. It’s going to take time, but eventually you won’t need my touch to know that I’m there. One day, you’ll know that you never need to be afraid again, but right now you’re here, and that’s something.”
He had no idea of the gift that he was giving me. His strength and confidence gave me strength. In simply being here, I was saying “fuck you” to Frank. I just needed O’Connell to remind me that courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the will to carry on regardless.
“Thank you,” I answered.
“You’re welcome. Now show me how grateful you are for lending you this rock hard body as your protection for the night.”
I turned around in his arms and kissed him softly when the whooping and whistling brought us back down to earth.
“Fuck off!” O’Connell called over my shoulder with a grin, and I buried my face into his chest in embarrassment. He nuzzled my neck then, pulling away, he grabbed my hand and led me over to the sofa where Mac was lounging.
“Mac, look after my girl for me, would you? Nobody fucks with her while I’m gone, understand?”
Mac grinned at him, offering him a two-finger salute. With a wink to me, O’Connell was gone.
“Well, baby girl, you sure look pretty tonight. I guess you’re around the gym so much it’s hard to remember that you’re an honest to God woman and not one of the boys.”
“That’s just the way I like it,” I admitted.
“You know you’re a good influence on him,” Mac told me, nodding toward the bar.
“So I’ve been told. But I don’t think that Danny is crazy about us being friends.”
“He’s protective of you, that’s all. He loves Con like a son, but he’s unstable. If things go to shite for Con, he’s worried about you getting hurt in the fallout.”
“I appreciate his concern, but I think that being O’Connell’s friend is worth the risk.”
“He’s a lucky bastard, Em. I hope he knows how lucky he is.”
“He knows, shithead,” Kieran retorted as he sank onto the sofa next to me. Mac grunted at him like he wasn’t so sure, but I was glad to let the subject drop. Determined to steer the conversation elsewhere, I pitched in.
“We have to find you a girl tonight, Kier,” I told him.
“Don’t worry, Em. I plan to find at least one tonight.”
I frowned back at him in response.
“Not that kind of girl. A nice girl, Kier.” Mac and Kieran laughed.
“Sunshine, I’m pretty sure that nice girls don’t troll bars like this,” Mac told me.
I was slightly affronted that they were laughing at me, but looking around, I could see they were right. Most girls here were rail thin with ridiculously large, and I was guessing mostly fake, tits, too much makeup, and way too much fake tan. Skirts were just below the underwear, and any jeans were air brushed on. I tried not to let my insecurities swamp me, but I needed O’Connell back and soon. I missed the bubble that we’d been living in since I met him. I looked up to see two girls walking toward us, and to my horror I realised that one of them was Katrina Bray. Her friend clearly knew Kieran intimately because she didn’t stop when she reached our sofa, but climbed onto Kieran and straddled his lap. Okay, so that wasn’t at all awkward with him sitting right next to me. The tiny mini skirt around her waist rose to her hips as she did it, giving Kieran, and most of the club, a look at her underwear. If I had any guts at all, I would have coughed out the word slut, but most of the girls in this club looked ready for a punch up, and I really didn’t feel like getting bitch slapped this early in the evening. If that was the sort of girl that Kieran wanted to hook up with, that was up to him. Clearly, my demeanour of disapproval did little to dampen his horniness anyway. When his hands started moving up her thighs, though, I took that as my cue to find O’Connell. I wasn’t lucky enough to make it to the bar before Katrina intercepted me. Blocking my path with her hands on her hips, she looked me up and down with an expression of disdain that made me feel like mould.