“And if Frank finds us?” I asked, tears streaming down my face.
“If he’s stupid enough to show his face here, then I’ll deal with him. That’s if I don’t find him first.”
“I don’t want that, O’Connell. Promise me that you won’t go looking for him.”
“Then promise me that you won’t give up on me.”
“It was never about giving up on you, it was about helping you to succeed.”
“The only way I can do that is with you behind me. It’s okay if you need reassurance that I’m not going to cheat on you. In case you haven’t worked it out, I’m pretty fucking needy, too. I’m gonna need more reassurance than you do.” He comforted me with a smile.
“I’m scared, O’Connell,” I admitted.
“I’m scared, too, baby,” he replied, opening his arms for me to climb into.
We moved under the covers, and the tension left my body as I melted into his warmth.
“We’re family now, Em. I’m yours and you’re mine and no one can take that away from us unless we let them.”
I swallowed against the pain in my throat. All that crying had made my voice raspy.
“I love you, O’Connell.”
He kissed my temple as he whispered back, “No one’s ever said that to me before. I love you, too, sunshine, and I can’t lose you. So promise me that you won’t run again. Even if Frank becomes a threat, I need you to promise that you’ll believe in me, in us, and not run. I can’t fight for us alone.”
“You’re pretty relentless, you know that, don’t you,” I told him.
“You have no idea.”
“I promise not to run. I’ll fight for us as hard as you will. You realise that this isn’t going to be easy, though. There’s so much that we don’t know about each other, and there are plenty of people who don’t want us to make it.”
He reached for my hand, threading his fingers back and forth between mine.
“We have the rest of our lives to get to know each other, the good and the shite. As for the fuckers who want to try to keep us apart, let them try. They don’t call me the Hurricane for nothing.”
I smiled with happiness for the first time in what felt like weeks. There never had been any real chance of convincing him this was for the best, but after learning what kind of a shitty start he’d had at the hands of that bitch, I no longer wanted to try. His dream was the same as mine—a home, a family, love, and trust. If I was lucky enough that I was what he truly wanted, then I was going to grab onto this dream with both hands and fight for it.
“This is my world in a grain of sand,” I whispered.
“What does that mean?” he asked.
“It’s from a poem by William Blake.
‘To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wildflower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.’
To me it means that this one moment where we choose each other, it’s as tiny as a grain of sand, but it will change our lives forever, and there is nothing closer to heaven than the two of us here together.”
He grinned as he rolled over on top of me, resting his weight on his elbows.
“My girl is so fucking smart. Keep talking, ‘cause I feel another tattoo coming on.”
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I grinned back.
“Yeah? Well, my boy is smarter. Who figured out that we were meant to be together first?”
“I did,” he answered proudly. “I’m gonna drive you nuts, sunshine. You’ll spend a lifetime cursing at me, but I’m gonna make sure that there isn’t a single day that goes by where deep down you aren’t thankful you picked me.”
“Is that right?” I smiled, between his kisses.
“Yep. Even when you’re pregnant with baby number four, and you’re cursing me to high heaven for knocking you up, you’re still gonna love me.”
“Four!” I exclaimed. The thought of being a mother, of having to protect such a tiny, helpless little life, filled me with fear, and he wanted four of them!
“Yep,” he replied. “I want four big strapping boys that I can play sports and do stuff with. Then I’m going to teach them how to box and beat the shite out of Kieran and all their other uncles.”
“What if we have girls?” I asked, trying not to laugh at his horrified expression.
“Fuck me, no. There’s no way. The minute my girl introduces a guy to me, if he even so much as looks at her wrong, I’d bury him. There’s no way I’m having girls.”
“I’m sorry, Con.” I smiled. “I’m pretty sure that gender is a potluck surprise.”
“No way. I have very manly sperm. It’s gonna be all boys.”
“Well, how about you keep that manly sperm to yourself for a while. There is no way I want kids my second year into uni.”
“Sorry, baby,” he joked. “I’m very virile. I have a feeling that I only need to cough, and you’re gonna get knocked up.”
I stared at him hard. “You’re absolutely right. Why take the risk. I always thought that abstinence before marriage was an admirable goal.”
His face dropped comically, and it was really hard not to laugh.
“You’re joking, right? I was just kidding about knocking you up. Honestly, I can feel my balls getting bluer by the minute.”
He genuinely looked worried, and I wondered what he’d say if I wasn’t ready.
“What if I told you that I wasn’t ready for that, or that I really did believe in abstinence before marriage?”
He stared into my eyes and answered me seriously. “Em, I want to grow old with you. I’d be lying if I said that you weren’t hotter than hell, and that I wasn’t hard as a nail every time I touch you, but even if we only ever have what we have right now, it’s enough. Having sex, whenever you’re ready, will just make what we have even more beautiful, and that’s worth waiting for.”
Wow. If it was even possible, this boy just got sexier. I lifted my lips up to his and kissed him gently. It was pure and beautiful and without doubt or scepticism, because I knew in my heart that he loved me. Slowly, his hand crept beneath my shirt, and his thumb gently stroked my ribs. It was so close to my breast without actually touching it that it wasn’t long before I became fired up and needy. I swore that O’Connell was the king of getting me all hot and bothered.