With nothing else to do, we all split up and headed back to our dorms. The schedule was already posted on the TV. Class today would be early—7:00 a.m. I had to wonder whether it was a punishment; they weren’t giving us the chance to go back to sleep.
Mason opened the closet when we got back and started getting dressed.
“You all right?” I asked.
He shrugged.
“Just . . . I thought maybe you guys, you and Lily, might have been . . .”
He shook his head. “No.”
It had to be a lie. They were always together.
“Oh.” I sat down on my bed. My head ached from stress and lack of sleep.
Mason turned to look at me as he buttoned his shirt. His face was tight and cold. “I decided early on that I wasn’t going to do that, get attached, I mean. Like with Curtis and Carrie—I think they’re nuts.”
“But isn’t that part of surviving this place?” I said, thinking of Jane. “We’re stuck here, so let’s make the most of it.”
“If you say so,” he said, his face stony and emotionless. “But what if one of them gets it? What if the school decides one day that Curtis has been too much trouble and they toss him in detention? What’ll that do to Carrie?”
I didn’t say anything. Images of Jane filled my mind—her hair, her eyes, her smile, her hand on mine.
“You know that old saying,” Mason continued. “‘Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all’?”
I nodded.
“Complete horsecrap. Especially in here.” He put his tie around his neck. “One day you’re going to get it. You know it and I know it. One day you’re going to do some fool thing and get caught.”
He waited for me to say something, but I couldn’t. Was he right?
“I stay quiet,” he said, making the knot in his tie. “I stay out of everyone’s way.”
I felt like hitting him, though I tried not to show it. “Why aren’t you Society then?”
“I don’t care what other people do,” he said. “If other people want to try to get out of here, then good for them. If you want to go to the dance with Jane, and screw up your life—and hers—then do it. I’m not going to stop you.”
He and Lily had been together. He wasn’t telling me about what might happen; he was telling me about what had just happened to him.
I lay back on the bed and stared upward.
“One dance is going to screw up my life?” I said with a little laugh, trying to lighten the situation.
Mason’s voice was serious. “Becky had a guy. She wasn’t always screwed up. She was a V. Helped start the V’s, actually.”
“You’re kidding.” I rolled onto my side to look at him.
He pulled his red sweater on, and his eyes met mine. “Do what you want, man. But if you’re going to get killed next week crossing the wall, stay away from Jane. She doesn’t deserve that.”
Chapter Twelve
At seven o’clock we filed into class. The Society and Havoc kids were all chattering in whispered voices and pointing over at Lily’s empty seat. Some of them seemed concerned, others self-righteous, giving one another I-told-you-so looks. I tried to ignore them and looked straight ahead.
Everything about this school was wrong. Lily was missing, maybe dead, and yet here we were, about to have a lesson on field surveying, and later we’d go to a dance. I needed to get out. I needed to run, get help, tell someone about the school, and get the police.
And yet, in some ways, escape felt wrong, too. Yes, I needed to do all of those things, but should I do it on my own? Could I really leave the others behind and just hope they’d be okay and that I’d be able to get them out later? Could I do that to Jane?
She was sitting in front of me now, hunched forward, her arms propped on the desk. Her hair really was beautiful. The rich red wasn’t quite copper, but more the shade of autumn leaves. It made her red uniform sweater look garish and cheap.
Maybe Mason was right. I needed to concentrate on getting out of here, not on girls. Jane should be the least of my worries.
Laura came in the room quietly and fiddled with her computer for a few minutes.
“Welcome to class,” she said. Her expression was serious, but there was a kind of brightness to her eyes, like she was hiding a secret. “Before we begin, I have an announcement that was delivered with today’s lesson plans.” She tapped her keypad and the class quieted instantly.
Laura’s eyes didn’t move from the screen as she read. “We regret to inform you that Lillian Paterson was killed last night, hit by a car on the highway.”
“Murdering bastards,” Mason whispered. Jane dropped her head, burrowing her face into her arms. My muscles tensed, and my hands clenched under my desk.
Laura continued, “Please remember that crossing the wall is cause for detention.”
I raised my hand. “I have a question.”
She looked surprised and unsure of what to do, so I just went ahead.
“We all drove in here, and I only saw one road within fifty miles, and the only place it goes is here. So how did she get hit by a car?”
Laura frowned. “We don’t know the circumstances, but—”
I interrupted, anger swelling in my chest. “There are only two possibilities: She was hit by a car on our road—but that makes no sense because no car came here—or she walked all the way to the main highway in one night. Which is it?”
Other kids were chattering around me, but I stared at Laura and waited for her to answer.
“We don’t know the circumstances,” she repeated.
“Yes, we do,” I snapped. “The note says she was hit by a car. So, Laura, explain it to me. Take a guess.”
She seethed, her lips tight together. “Maybe there are other roads in the forest.”
Without even realizing what I was doing, I stood up and began shouting, “You know what pisses me off the most about this? If you’d caught her before she got over the wall, Laura, she’d be just as dead as she is now.”
Before I could finish the room erupted in chaos, some people shouting at Laura, but most of them yelling back at me. The Havoc kids were on my side, barking angrily at the Society. I glanced up at the security camera, actually hoping someone was watching this time.
“Take your seat, Benson,” Laura was yelling, trying to be heard over the crowd.
I touched Jane’s back and coaxed her up. As she stood, I could see her wet, red eyes.
“Take your seats,” Laura shouted.
“No.” I took Jane by the hand and led her out into the hall. As soon as we got outside she stopped and wrapped her arms around me, sobbing and shuddering.
The classroom door fell closed, but I could still hear the muffled shouting on the other side. No one came after us.
I held Jane, my left hand on her back and my right cradling her head while she cried into my chest.
I wanted to tell her that everything would be fine, that I’d get us both out of Maxfield Academy, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it. And she wouldn’t want to hear it anyway. It wasn’t true.
No one could make it out of this place alive.
She was trying to calm herself, taking deep breaths between sobs. “I am so sick of this, Benson.”