And to be honest, I felt guilty. If the story Thoth told me was true, Isis had caused Ra to retreat into the heavens with that secret name business. Which meant, in a ridiculous, maddening way, the end of the world would be my fault. Bloody typical. I wanted to punch myself to get even with Isis, but I suspected it would hurt.
“Ra should wake up and smell the sahlab,” I said. “He should come back.”
Bast laughed without humor. “And the world should be young again, Sadie. I wish it could be so....”
Khufu grunted and gestured ahead. He gave the captain back the wheel and ran out of the wheelhouse and down the stairs.
“The baboon is right,” said Bloodstained Blade. “You should get to the prow. A challenge will be coming soon.”
“What sort of challenge?” I asked.
“It’s hard to tell,” Bloodstained Blade said, and I thought I detected smug satisfaction in his voice. “I wish you luck, Lady Kane.”
“Why me?” I grumbled.
Bast, Carter, and I stood at the prow of the boat, watching the river appear out of the darkness. Below us, the boat’s painted eyes glowed faintly in the dark, sweeping beams of light across the red water. Khufu had climbed to the top of the gangplank, which stood straight up when retracted, and cupped his hand over his eyes like a sailor in a crow’s-nest.
But all that vigilance didn’t do much good. With the dark and the mist, our visibility was nil. Massive rocks, broken pillars, and crumbling statues of pharaohs loomed out of nowhere, and Bloodstained Blade yanked the wheel to avoid them, forcing us to grab hold of the rails. Occasionally we’d see long slimy lines cutting through the surface of the water, like tentacles, or the backs of submerged creatures—I really didn’t want to know.
“Mortal souls are always challenged,” Bast told me. “You must prove your worth to enter the Land of the Dead.”
“Like it’s such a big treat?”
I’m not sure how long I stared into the darkness, but after a good while a reddish smudge appeared in the distance, as if the sky were becoming lighter.
“Is that my imagination, or—”
“Our destination,” Bast said. “Strange, we really should’ve been challenged by now—”
The boat shuddered, and the water began to boil. A giant figure erupted from the river. I could see him only from the waist up, but he towered several meters over the boat. His body was humanoid—bare-chested and hairy with purplish skin. A rope belt was tied around his waist, festooned with leather pouches, severed demon heads, and other charming bits and bobs. His head was a strange combination of lion and human, with gold eyes and a black mane done in dreadlocks. His blood-splattered mouth was feline, with bristly whiskers and razor-sharp fangs. He roared, scaring Khufu right off the gangplank. The poor baboon did a flying leap into Carter’s arms, which knocked them both to the deck.
“You had to say something,” I told Bast weakly. “This a relative of yours, I hope?”
Bast shook her head. “I cannot help you with this, Sadie. You are the mortals. You must deal with the challenge.”
“Oh, thanks for that.”
“I am Shezmu!” the bloody lion man said.
I wanted to say, “Yes, you certainly are.” But I decided to keep my mouth shut.
He turned his golden eyes on Carter and tilted his head. His nostrils quivered. “I smell the blood of pharaohs. A tasty treat...or do you dare to name me?”
“N-name you?” Carter sputtered. “Do you mean your secret name?”
The demon laughed. He grabbed a nearby spire of rock, which crumpled like old plaster in his fist.
I looked desperately at Carter. “You don’t happen to have his secret name lying around somewhere?”
“It may be in The Book of the Dead,” Carter said. “I forgot to check.”
“Well?” I said.
“Keep him busy,” Carter replied, and scrambled off to the wheelhouse.
Keep a demon busy, I thought. Right. Maybe he fancies a game of tiddlywinks.
“Do you give up?” Shezmu bellowed.
“No!” I yelled. “No, we don’t give up. We will name you. Just...Gosh, you’re quite well muscled, aren’t you? Do you work out?”
I glanced at Bast, who nodded approval.
Shezmu rumbled with pride and flexed his mighty arms. Never fails with men, does it? Even if they’re twenty meters tall and lion-headed.
“I am Shezmu!” he bellowed.
“Yes, you might’ve mentioned that already,” I said. “I’m wondering, um, what sort of titles you’ve earned over the years, eh? Lord of this and that?”
“I am Osiris’s royal executioner!” he yelled, smashing a fist into the water and rocking our boat. “I am the Lord of Blood and Wine!”
“Brilliant,” I said, trying not to get sick. “Er, how are blood and wine connected, exactly?”
“Garrr!” He leaned forward and bared his fangs, which were not any prettier up close. His mane was matted with nasty bits of dead fish and river moss. “Lord Osiris lets me behead the wicked! I crush them in my wine press, and make wine for the dead!”
I made a mental note never to drink the wine of the dead.
You’re doing well. Isis’s voice gave me a start. She’d been quiet so long, I’d almost forgotten her. Ask him about his other duties.
“And what are your other duties...O powerful wine demon guy?”
“I am Lord of...” He flexed his muscles for maximum effect. “Perfume!”
He grinned at me, apparently waiting for terror to set it.
“Oh, my!” I said. “That must make your enemies tremble.”
“Ha, ha, ha! Yes! Would you like to try a free sample?” He ripped a slimy leather pouch off his belt, and brought out a clay pot filled with sweet-smelling yellow powder. “I call this...Eternity!”