And for her own.
“Tell me the damn truth, Mia. What’s going on?”
She knew he wouldn’t walk away from her so easily. She decided to use what the media said about them to get him to leave her.
She stood. “Fine. You want the truth? I warned you about the reporters. But you refused to listen. And now they’re targeting me, saying that I’m using you to benefit my business. I can’t have that, Nathan.”
He frowned. “What?”
“I can’t be seen with you anymore. It’s hurting my company.”
She showed him social media, but only pulled up the ones that mentioned her using Nathan to grow MHC.
“Well, that’s a load of shit.”
“You know that and I know that, but optics is everything. And I can’t have anything negative affect MHC.”
“I can deny it.”
She rolled her eyes. “Like that will do any good. I can’t afford negative press right now. My company is more important to me than anything. Even you.”
She saw the hurt on his face and it nearly buckled her legs. It took everything in her to stand firm and stare him down.
“Really,” he said.
“Yes, really. I’m sorry, Nathan, but I can’t do this with you anymore. It could spell disaster for me.”
“This is really what you want. You’re not willing to fight for us.”
She gave him a curt nod. “No. I can’t. Maybe sometime down the road things will be different.”
She wanted to cry because the pain on his face destroyed her. But she held her chin up and met his gaze.
“Sometime down the road? Do you even hear yourself, Mia? This doesn’t even sound like you. I’ve never known you to be so fucking cold.”
She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling as cold as the words she spit at him. “I’m sorry. I really am. This hurts me, too, Nathan.”
“Does it? Because it’s like I don’t even know the woman standing in front of me.”
She shrugged, afraid if she said anything more the tears would fall and she’d end up blurting out that everything she’d said was a lie.
“Okay. If that’s the way you want it, fine. We’re done.”
He turned around and walked out the door, shutting it behind him.
She waited a full fifteen minutes, making sure he didn’t come back—part of her hoping he would. But when she was sure he was gone for good, she set her laptop aside, placed her folders and planner into a neat pile on top of it, then brought her knees up to her chest and let the tears come.
THIRTY-FOUR
THEY’D LOST THEIR LAST PRESEASON GAME BY ONLY four points. It was only a preseason game, but Nathan hadn’t felt like himself. He’d been off. Coach had told him they’d all been off their game that day and for him to shake it off.
Whatever. He knew the loss of that game was on him. He’d lost his focus and he hadn’t been able to rally his team to victory.
Jamal had told him to shake off whatever it was because the regular season was starting and he needed to look forward, not back.
Jamal was so right about that, in so many ways.
Today was the first official game of the season and he had to get his head right. He’d worked hard this week to put his mind-set where it belonged—on football. They’d finalized the roster, the rookies all looked ready and the offensive line was mean. His receivers were sharp and Nathan knew the playbook like his own personal bible. He should be charged up and ready for this.
Except he wasn’t. His gut was tight and it felt like rocks sat in his stomach.
He missed Mia, and no amount of attempting to push her out of his head the past two weeks had helped get her out of his system. Or his heart.
He’d replayed their conversation over and over and it still made no sense. He knew the media thing had been worrying her, but they’d always worked things out together. Plus, she was a shrewd businesswoman with a great PR team. His team had one as well and they could have figured out a way to spin this in their favor.
She’d never even given them a chance. It was like she’d turned into someone he didn’t even know. So what the hell was it that had flipped her switch so suddenly, that made her push him away?
“You ready, kid?”
He jerked his head up to see his coach standing over him, which meant his thoughts about Mia were going to have to be pushed away until after the game.
Nathan stood. “Hell yes I’m ready.”
Coach grinned and slapped him on the shoulder pad. “Let’s go.”
The team waited in the tunnel and, when it was time, came running out to the earsplitting sounds of the sold-out stadium. Nathan felt fortunate to have a home game to start the season. They’d follow up this one with two road games, but at least he’d have the home crowd support on his side to start things off.
He’d like to say he was confident as fuck, but that would be a lie. He was as nervous as he’d been at the start of his first preseason game. But he hid that from his teammates because they needed to be able to rely on him.
This was the real deal. This game counted. And he wasn’t going to let them down. So he sucked up all that nervous energy, determined to use it to his benefit.
And hopefully, he wouldn’t screw up. Because he wasn’t going to get a second chance at this.
He had to wait it out a bit because the Sabers won the toss and deferred, so Arizona had the ball first. He went over the offensive game plan with his coach and tried to keep his nerves in check. Fortunately, and thanks to Flynn and the defense, Arizona went three and out and offense was up.
Jamal came over to him and shoved into his shoulder. “You got this.”
Nathan gave him a quick nod. “I know.”
He’d gotten nothing but positive remarks and vibes from his offense all week. They believed in him.
Now he just had to believe in himself.
MIA HADN’T WANTED TO MISS OPENING DAY. SHE’D wanted to be there, at the stadium, but for now it was best if she stayed out of the spotlight. Once things died down and the media found something else to talk about, she could go to the games again.
There had been a few more articles about Nathan and her, but there had been no facts, only supposition based on a few photos of the two of them together. They’d even interviewed Mick Riley, who’d told them how Nathan and Mia had been friends since college. He’d left it at that, so there’d been nothing for the press to chew on.
For the past two weeks there’d been nothing but football for Nathan, and for her, work. And those two had been separate. Which was a very good thing for both of them.
Except her heart hurt so badly she could barely draw a breath.
She knew she’d hurt Flynn’s feelings when he’d asked her if she was going to be there today and she’d told him no. And he hadn’t believed her when she’d told him she had work to do. But there was nothing she could do about that. He’d just have to deal with it.
She was hurt, too. For so many reasons. She wanted to be at the game, cheering on her brother.
Cheering for Nathan.
Instead, she was in her raggedy old shorts from college, her favorite Sabers T-shirt, sitting with her feet cross-legged on the couch watching the game on TV while eating cheese and drinking wine.
She was so miserable and lonely she wanted to cry. Instead, she ate more cheese, then got up and poured herself another glass of wine, determined to suck it up for Nathan’s sake.
God, she was so pathetic.
The first series went amazing. Nathan didn’t look at all nervous as he threw the ball to his receivers. A couple of dropped passes and missed connections, but that was to be expected in his first game of the season. Once he settled into the pocket, she could see his confidence grow and he connected solidly with Jamal on a twenty-three yard pass.
She pumped her fist in the air, trying to feel as if she was part of the stadium crowd.
Another pass in the next series of downs for twelve yards. Then another for sixteen.
Now they were rolling. The running game looked solid as well, and when Nathan skirted around a defensive lineman and threw a pass to the tight end for a touchdown, she nearly spilled her wine when she leaped off the couch and cheered. She had to set her wineglass down to do her own touchdown dance. Her heart was racing and she wanted to hug and high-five someone.